Monday 16 April 2007

When Horror and tragedy must be faced

There is nothing I can think of worse than the loss of a child. The loss of these children today at Virginia Tech is a tragedy that none of us ever expected. It is ALWAYS tragic to loose a child, but when it is by such useless violence, it becomes almost impossible to comprehend.

There is no recovery from this type of stress immediately. The grieving parents, friends and families will be in shock for days to come, and probably sleepless for weeks. Grieving takes time.

There are 5 stages of grief and everyone must, it seems, go through at least some of them. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I will not expound on them, but there are many websites to check out if your are interested. I found one that is very good: http://davidkessler.org/html/qa_grief.html#6. It explains, step by step, what to expect in times of grief.

What I would like to share is not for those grieving, as probably not a single one of those persons will get anywhere near a computer to "learn" techniques at this point. I want to share some thoughts for those of you who may be able to help those in grief - friends, co-workers, neighbors, church members, acquaintances, just anyone at large in the community that might want to be able to touch and help the heart of one who is suffering now.

It has been my experience that even strangers from a far can help by praying for those involved, and those who's spirits have been elevated from this earth. Pray for the God you believe in, whatever the name may be, to help these who remain and are suffering. Prayer changes things, though, alas, it cannot mend what has been torn here and now.

Let people know that you would be willing to step in to cook a meal or two, or cook for the gathering of family that will occur. Try to relieve some task that may need doing, but will be neglected for now. Ask if you can babysit the small children for the family, ask what you can do to help. Don't be shy.

You may find someone breaking into tears and desperately needing just a hug. We all live in this world. We are a family of humans and tragedy has happened again. Beef up your courage
and make a step towards giving love, your energy, whatever may be needed at this time.

Take a breath, say a prayer, hold someone's hand. Love one another and help the healing to begin with your love.

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