The Philosophy of Charles Schultz.

The following is the philosophy of
Charles Schultz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to
actually answer the questions. Just read the article straight through, and
you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people
in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman
trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of
the Miss America.

4. Name ten people who have won the
Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy
Award winner for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of
World Series winners.



How did you do?

The point is,
none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate
achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards
tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried
with their owners.



Here's another quiz. See how you do
on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided
your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have
helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught
you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have
made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy
spending time with .



Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a
difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most
money, or the most awards. They are the ones that
care.



'Don't worry about the world coming
to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia ' (Charles Schultz)

The Philosophy of Charles Schultz.

The following is the philosophy of
Charles Schultz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to
actually answer the questions. Just read the article straight through, and
you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people
in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman
trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of
the Miss America.

4. Name ten people who have won the
Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy
Award winner for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of
World Series winners.



How did you do?

The point is,
none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate
achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards
tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried
with their owners.



Here's another quiz. See how you do
on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided
your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have
helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught
you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have
made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy
spending time with .



Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a
difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most
money, or the most awards. They are the ones that
care.



'Don't worry about the world coming
to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia ' (Charles Schultz)

Manifesting what?

It's a funny word, manifest. And it's a word commonly used today. But it's been around awhile.

Merriam-Webster says it's a Middle English word, dating back to the 14th century, during a time of ruin and defeat, famine and the Black Plague. It's a word that involves the senses, sight, in particular. To manifest something means you can recognize it. It's synonymous to the word, evident.

Today, we use the word in relation to thought. If you think something, you can manifest it, we say. You can make it so.

You can manifest your own terrible day, or you can manifest your own good day, just by thinking it. And you can do exactly the opposite as well, just by thinking it. You can program your mind to recognize what you want it to think, feel, say or do. From the mind of E.B. White who wrote Charlotte's Web, that's some power.

If it's true, this seemingly magical ability, what are you manifesting in your life?

If you find yourself caught in a bout of depression, do you believe you can think your way out of it? If you wake up in a cheerful mood all the time, how do your thoughts play into that? Are you willing yourself to feel this way?

Share your opinion about the word, manifest, and how it affects your life? Perhaps you'll see your Inner strength is stronger than you thought.

Add your comments here.

All my best,
Jackie

Secret #135 Live in the Light of the Brevity of Life

"Teach us to number our days aright so that we can gain a heart of wisdom."
—Psalms 90:12

Health Agencies Urge Parents to Protect Kids from Mosquitoes as West Nile Virus Cases Surge

Repellent Bug Bam! wristband is all-natural alternative to DEET products.

Los Angeles, CA (Vocus) August 12, 2008 -- Health officials across America are reporting a surge in cases of West Nile Virus and urging parents to protect children from the mosquito bites that spread the potentially deadly disease. The virus causes serious symptoms in about 20 percent of infected people, and so far this year is linked to two deaths in Arizona and Mississippi, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Arming kids with insect repellent, installing window and door fly-screens and draining sources of stagnant water are recommended protective measures during peak infection period, from early August through October, according to the CDC.

Conventional liquid insect repellents are often messy, smelly and rely on a chemical pesticide called DEET, which may irritate skin and eyes. But the new Bug Bam! Insect Repelling Wristband is the only 100 percent natural repellent scientifically-proven by leading US entomology labs to repel mosquitoes and other biting insects in 98 percent of the population.

Bug Bam Products' natural, FDA-approved ingredients safely repel mosquitoes by emitting plant odors that mask the natural body odors that entice mosquitoes. The EPA-approved natural ingredients used in Bug Bam products - citronella, geranium and lemongrass - are also kind to the environment, according to Australian outdoors enthusiast, environmentalist and founder of Bug Bam Products, Joseph M. Symond, who developed the wristband in response to the swarming mosquitoes that thwarted his wilderness adventures.

Endorsed by the National Camp Association, the fun, bright red Bug Bam wristband, which sports the words "Because Mosquitoes Suck" - protects a child or adult for up to 100 hours, unlike traditional chemical repellents, which are diluted by water and perspiration and must be reapplied throughout the day. Left unopened in the packet, the wristband remains effective for

up to two years. The product comes in packets of one or two wristbands. People with severe allergies to fragrances of essential oils should consult an MD before using Bug Bam! products.

Entertaining Solutions: For safe, hassle-free indoor and outdoor entertaining and camping, the Bug Bam Camp Grids, plastic hanging grids that repel biting insects for up to 100 hours across a 300-square-foot area. The 5-inch-square grid comes in a vapor-proof zip-locked re-sealable bag and is reusable for up to two years. Bug Bam also sells a value pack containing one grid and five wristbands.

Bug Bam's wristband and hanging grid products are now available at select U.S. retailers, including Wal-Mart and BJs and online at www.bugbam.com.

About West Nile Virus: While 80 percent of people exposed to West Nile Virus never experience symptoms, up to 20 percent suffer debilitating symptoms such as fever, headache, and body aches, nausea, vomiting, swollen lymph glands or skin rashes, according to the CDC.

About one in 150 infected people develop serious complications such as high fever, headache, neck stiffness, stupor, disorientation, coma, tremors, convulsions, muscle weakness, vision loss, numbness and paralysis. Rarer is potentially fatal West Nile encephalitis, or brain inflammation; and West Nile meningitis, inflammation of membrane in the brain and spinal cord.

So far in 2008, WNV cases in humans have been reported in Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Louisiana, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia and Wyoming, according to CDC data. Further instances of the avian disease have been reported in birds, insects and animals in other US states.

Why a Powerful Natural Repellent is Preferable to Chemical Repellents: DEET, or diethyl-meta-toluamide, is the chemical pesticide most commonly used in insect repellents. In some instances DEET causes eye and skin irritations and reactions, and in rare cases, is associated with seizures, according to the National Pesticide Information Center. The American Academy of Pediatrics urges parents not to use DEET products on children younger than 2 months and to apply the products a maximum of once a day to children older than 2 months.

More Tips for Avoiding Mosquitoes:

1. Avoid fragrant hair spray and cologne.
2. Particularly avoid exposure when mosquitoes are most active, at dusk and dawn.
3. Eliminate standing water where mosquitoes lay eggs, such as flower pots, bird baths, ponds, neglected pools and hot tubs, open boats and wheelbarrows.
4. Install or repair window and door screens.
5. Report dead birds to local authorities. Mosquitoes carry the virus from birds to humans.
6. Band with neighbors to clean up stagnant water in local parks
   

Bug Bam Testimonials: "We had our annual Memorial Day BBQ. The usual uninvited bugs came out in force. We decide to try out the Bug Bam products we recently received. Within moments the annoying pests were gone. The product did its job and what my guests and I also appreciated was how easy to use this all-natural product is." -- Jeff Solomon - Director, National Camp Association

"In Oklahoma we have mosquitoes the size of small sparrows. I never heard another complaint after the Bug Bam arrived." -- Spokesperson for the National Veterans Golden Age Games in Norman, Oklahoma - VA Medical Center, Oklahoma City, OK.

"Not only did Bug Bam work, it alleviated some of our main concerns regarding the insect issue, the prevalence of Malaria and the evening inundation of insects into our one-man tents." -- Dual Olympic Heptathlete, Jane Flemming of Australia, who led a trek through the Papua New Guinea jungle.

BIOGRAPHY: Joseph M. Symond, creator of Bug Bam! Products: Australian entrepreneur and avid outdoorsman Joseph M. Symond developed the Bug Bam range of products as a result of his own frustrating encounters with mosquitoes while enjoying the great outdoors. Symond began creating natural remedies for mosquitoes back in 1998, and, seeing a broader need for a natural, chemical-free eco-friendly mosquito repellent, he developed the DEET-free food-grade Bug Bam bracelet in 2004. Symond, who lectures and speaks publically on the dangers of mosquito exposure, has expanded Bug Bam's range of products to include the Bug Bam Camp Grid and Bug Bam pet-collar. Symond's commitment to developing socially responsible products has its roots in a near-fatal attack he suffered age 14 by a Blue-Ringed Octopus, for which there is no anti-venom.

Concierge Medicine--Premier Medical Service for a Price

With patients demanding a greater level of customer service during office visits and physicians receiving reduced amounts of income through standard insurance reimbursements, a growing trend in the healthcare profession is the practice of "concierge medicine." However, there are important ethical and legal questions that surround this controversial approach to patient care, as discussed in a special report in the most recent edition of the Jackson & Coker Industry Report entitled "Concierge Medicine--A Growing Trend?"

Alpharetta, GA (PRWEB) August 13, 2008 -- With patients demanding a greater level of customer service during office visits and physicians receiving reduced amounts of income through standard insurance reimbursements, a growing trend in the healthcare profession is the practice of "concierge medicine." The premise behind this concept is that some patients are willing to open their wallets wider to pay for a "premier" level of medical service and personal attention.

However, there are important ethical and legal questions that surround this controversial approach to patient care, as discussed in a special report in the most recent edition of the Jackson & Coker Industry Report entitled "Concierge Medicine--A Growing Trend?"

"Admittedly, concierge medicine is making some significant inroads into the healthcare community, but there are important questions that need to be addressed concerning this innovative practice model," mentions Sandra Garrett, president of Jackson & Coker.

Understanding the Concept: Often referred to as "boutique medicine," "direct practice," "retainer practice," or "innovative practice design," concierge medicine is not a brand-new concept. For the last dozen years, a growing number of physician practices in the United States have experimented with the concept of offering a more personalized approach to treating patients who are willing to pay more out-of-pocket fees for shorter wait times during office visits, lengthier consultations, 24/7 access to their primary care physician via cell phone, and, in some instances, house calls by someone on the medical staff.

All of this is for a price. Often times, concierge practices offer a tiered-approach to fees for service. On top of customary insurance billing, the practice may charge patients annual fees ranging from $1,000 per person or upwards of $15,000 to $20,000 per family.

Thomas W. LaGrelius, MD, FAAFP, president of the Society for Innovative Medical Practice Design (SIMPD) simpd.org, addresses the matter of cost: "The range of fees goes down to as low as $39 per month for full care concierge services" in some practices. "The national average is less than $150 per month and membership levels as low as 50 patients. The average practice has about 600 patients as its cap. Keep in mind, the most expensive concierge doctor with the fewest patients is the White House doctor."

Some critics of concierge medicine raise this important question: How can healthcare practitioners justify concierge medicine on the upper end of the tier, given the fact that an estimated 40+ million of U.S. residents lack any insurance coverage at all? Furthermore, by making medical treatment even more costly, doesn't this widen the current disparity in healthcare delivery that is of concern to many segments of society?

"Such critics are short-sighted. Insurance is the problem, not the solution," mentions Dr. LaGrelius. "Most primary care doctors today run from room to room with seven-minute visits accomplishing next to nothing in the pursuit of generating enough CPT codes to keep the office solvent. Half the money paid to health plans and government for health care is wasted."

"Concierge doctors have been shown to cut high tech and hospital costs by as much as 60-85%. Insurance is not a useful tool in the delivery of primary care. Such care should be purchased directly, thus eliminating the costly, meddlesome middle man," he points out.

In fact, proponents of concierge medicine stipulate that for a modest $100 - $200 monthly retainer, along with higher deductibles to cover serious emergencies, providing patients significantly greater personalized medical attention is actually cheaper than traditional insurance-based healthcare models.

Direct practice proponents would further argue that this approach to patient treatment is intended to bridge the gap between theory and practice concerning consumer-driven medicine, and as such might serve as a viable model for reformed healthcare care in America.

Lingering Questions: No matter which side of the argument one supports, there are lingering questions that concern all sectors of the healthcare community, as the JCIR special report notes. For instance, the American Medical Association (AMA) emphasizes that licensed physicians are obligated to provide the same level of care to all patients treated, regardless of their economic status. (Direct practitioners would emphasis that they also abide by this ethical standard.)

With respect to consumer satisfaction, patients who pay out-of-pocket $10,000 or more for family medical care certainly expect a different level of service than they have previously received.

Quality of care is judged by recipients of medical treatment, regardless of the cost, explains Dr. LaGrelius: "Keep in mind, the average concierge fee today is less than $150 per month. Most Americans pay more for cable, cell phone bills and cigarettes. Concierge medicine costs, like cell phones, are going down and such care is being used by more and more average Americans. That trend will continue. Most innovations start with wealthier people and then become generalized."

Furthermore, there are ethical and legal matters concerning when and how to inform current patients when a medical practice transitions to a retainer-based model. Patients who cannot afford concierge-level medical care must be given the opportunity to continue seeing competent physicians whose services are more affordable.

Concierge physicians have no problem with this stipulation, but point out that their approach to primary care medicine is to rule in, not rule out, persons who can benefit from access to "direct practice medical homes," much like the Dr. Welby-type practices of yester-year. Or at least that's their visionary goal.

As healthcare costs and delivery models are hotly debated in this political season, a fresh spotlight shines on innovative practice design, which will undoubtedly gain much more attention in the foreseeable future.

Ms. Garrett comments: "Our special report on concierge medicine raises concerns for all segments of the healthcare community. Though an interesting concept, it remains to be seen how widespread concierge medicine will be adopted by patients and practitioners who generally agree that improving customer service is a priority in our consumer-driven society."

About Jackson & Coker: Begun in 1978, Jackson & Coker is a prominent physician recruitment firm headquartered in Alpharetta, Georgia. The firm places physicians in over 40 medical specialties as well as advanced practitioners (such as CRNAs) in temporary (locum tenens) assignments and permanent placement opportunities.

Jackson & Coker is a member of a "family of companies" known as Jackson Healthcare (JH). The corporation provides information technology and human resources solutions to hospitals and healthcare organizations across the country. Jackson Healthcare has the distinction of being voted among "Atlanta's Top 10 Fastest Growing Companies" and designated by Inc. Magazine as among "The Fastest growing U.S. private companies."

More information concerning Jackson & Coker -- along with the monthly Jackson & Coker Industry Report--can be found at www.jacksoncoker.com.

Gerbig Engineering Introduces New Product Feature

Burnsville Minn. (PRWEB) August 19, 2008 -- Gerbig Engineering, a designer, fabricator and installer of cleanrooms and cleanroom equipment now has available new feature for the AireCell line of modular cleanrooms. The product is an integrated wall mounted pre-filter. The pre-filter features a perforated aluminum panel, hinged frame and anodized aluminum framing to match the AireCell framing System. The pre-filter is available in efficiencies up to MERV 7.

The wall mounted pre-filter allows users to have much easier access to change the filter. Now cleanroom users don't have to access their ceiling to change filters, thus reducing cleanroom disturbance.

"This product is one of several features that we have introduced recently that significantly enhances the cleanroom functionality and ease of maintenance", said Fred Gerbig, President of Gerbig Engineering. "The industry response to these enhancements has been extremely positive."

Gerbig Engineering is a privately owned company located in Burnsville, MN. The company specializes in designing, fabricating and installing cleanrooms and cleanroom systems for the medical and pharmaceutical industries. This includes hardwall and softwall cleanrooms, modular cleanrooms and cleanroom workstations. For more information, check out their website: www.gerbig.com

Coaching along

I'm in my second month now as a BIKE coach. I have two clients, and it's going well. Despite the resistance--It's so hard to look inward--I love how people really can figure things out on their own. I've done it myself, but I now get the chance to see it from the other side. It's amazing, the power of the mind.

We all just need a little push sometimes, and people in the mainstream are recognizing that. That's why the coaching profession is seeing such huge growth rate right now. The ICF (International Coaches Federation) has certified more than 4,000 coaches worldwide, in 47 different countries--more than 500 credentialed since January 2008. It's something I'm looking into for myself now.

It just goes to show that we know we are not on this earth alone. We do need assistance now and then. And it's okay to ask for help.

This isn't therapy. It's not consulting (though either could be involved). It's assistance that helps a person set and meet his or her goals. The coach just helps the client figure out solutions that will work best. There's a lot of questioning that takes place to get to the answers. But we all have them.

And we all have the ability to know how to solve our own dilemmas, to overcome our individual challenges, to move forward. We may just need that little push. My coaching technique does that for you; however, I combine that with my BIKE philosophy to help create a system that's always available and easily accessible to you, precisely when you need it. And if you forget, it's there to remind you. We all need those reminders as well.

If you're in need, right now, of help that can lead to problem solving in your life, maybe it's time you asked for help.

If so, post a comment. Maybe I can help. It not me, a referral might net you exactly what you need.

All my best,
Jackie

Can You Change Your Destiny?

By Michael Beck
The answer is “No”.

Let me clarify that. I don’t believe we can change our true destiny – that is, the destiny we secretly know to be true - for the truth is the truth. But we can and should change that “destiny” or fate that we have resigned ourselves to accept. You see, that “destiny” isn’t really a destiny at all. Instead, it’s an admission that we don’t know what else to do. It’s an indication that we’ve run out of ideas, we’ve run out of energy, we’ve run out of belief, and/or we’ve run out of hope. And staying in that mindset – the mindset keeping us from realizing our true destiny - would be an unfortunate waste. It takes resolve to break free from that mindset, but we can and should choose to rise above that state – to leave that life of mediocrity behind and progress down our path towards our true destiny. How do we accomplish that? It takes a shift in attitude and a shift in action.

There are two critical perspectives to adopt with respect to attitude. It is absolutely critical to have a positive attitude and it is absolutely critical to have an attitude of gratitude. (You can read my articles on positive attitude and on gratitude on my website.) When you have a positive attitude, you end up attracting positive things into your life. You find opportunities where you once only saw obstacles. When you are grateful for what you have, you allow more good things to come into your life. Don’t confuse being grateful with compromising or being satisfied - being grateful is different.

As far as taking action goes, there are two important issues to consider. One issue is whether what you are doing for a living is what best suits your skills and talents. If not, then move on to something that is a better match. The second important action-related issue to consider is nicely summed up in that famous definition of insanity we’ve all heard: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.” Acknowledge that what you’ve been doing (or at least HOW you’ve been doing it) doesn’t work. Decide to open up your mind to other ways of doing what you do or trying altogether new approaches to moving you towards your success.

Anyone can make great strides towards advancing in the direction of their destiny – but it takes a definite shift in attitude, a definite shift in action, and a bit of courage…




Author's Bio

Written by Michael Beck, “Head Zookeeper” at www.ClientMonkey.com , a marketing strategies website dedicated to getting more clients, making more money, and having more fun! Receive a FREE program on recruiting & prospecting success at: www.PowerRecruitingandProspecting.com
Permission to reprint with full attribution. © 2008 Exceptional Leadership, Inc.

Unlocking Potential

by Lynn Scheurell
Cosmic evolution is dancing through you right this minute... it's a pretty big deal. In case you've never thought of it, you are the physical expression of the universe, just like a single grain of sand creates a beach. Being the physical expression of the cosmic universe is an honor that only the heartiest souls can handle. And by just being who you are, you have a unique ability to make manifest something that, without you, would not exist much less contribute to the greater whole through the world around you. But no pressure... :+)

Now that we've gotten that out into the open, let's take a look at what that really means... to be a physical manifestor on behalf of the universe.

You came here to be a unique individual amongst billions. No one else has your combination of body chemistry, childhood experiences, beliefs, desires and life "lens" through which you see and interpret the world, amongst about 8 gazillion other unique qualities, skills and characteristics. Bottom line: there is no one else exactly like you who can do exactly what you came here to do in the way that you know to do it. Even if you don’t know what that means. Yet.

At the same time, you've been given everything you need to do "it". When you realize that you are here to do something important, when you feel the calling of your spirit, the stir of your soul compelling you to take action, to show up, to be more... well, there's no denying it. You are being called to give back to the universe in the way that you, and only you, can do.

And THAT is why you are here… to put into action your unique ability to make a greater contribution to the universe by using source energy in the world around you. Giving back to source energy makes a full cycle… you’re here with unique and potent talent as bestowed from source energy, and using it to make a difference in the physical plane gives experiential form and function to universal energy. So giving back to the universe, in the form of using and sharing your unique piece of universal energy, evolves both you, in the experience, and the cosmos, in the contribution.

In other words, as you share your unique energy in contribution and service to the world around you, you are manifesting the rewards of source energy in application and motion. You are yielding physical results that matter in a big way. You are manifesting for the universe.

So, here's the big question: what are you here to manifest? What are you here to do? What are you here to give back? NOW we're talkin'...

If you are feeling of being "in the flow", where everything seems to be working for you, you’re happy, people around you feel good, and you feel like you are creating something that makes a positive difference, chances are you are already giving back in vibrational resonance with your unique purpose. Congratulations �" you inspire the rest of us!

However, if you feel something is missing or not fitting together well, if you're not happy or have a vague sense of anxiety (I call it the "Lamborghini stuck behind a lawn mower" feeling), if you feel like you don't matter much, or wish that life would just slow down, well... those are some big clues that you aren't manifesting in alignment with your natural reason for being. It's not always big clues ... maybe you feel like you're stuck in a routine rut, or don't feel like getting out of bed more days than not. Basically, if you're not feeling vital, charged up and stimulated to go out and do more of what you know makes the world a better place on a regular basis, it's time to consider where you could be giving back more by expressing the focused power of your unique being. Your soul is hurting by being too scrunched up in whatever little box it's had to live in for too long �" it isn't doing what it's here to do, and neither are you.

What to do now? Well, here's the good news. If you're still reading this, it's time to evolve your experience so you can give more... and as you give more, you are able to receive more. The more engaged you are in making a positive difference, the more you are naturally attracting amazing opportunities to enjoy and make an even bigger difference. (It's another full cycle...)

At any rate, here is what you need to know to grow yourself to give more starting today...

STOP BEING WHO YOU ARE NOT!

You are here as a whole and perfect physical expression of the power of the universe. When you are in the flow of your true being, things just… well, flow. It takes more energy to resist your true calling. In fact, it's effortless to be who you are! You might do more work but it will feel easier and more joyful when giving from your natural state. It's flat-out less work when you give naturally... when you share your unique talent with the world around you with the awareness that you're doing it from your essence. It will fill you up and feel wonderful when you're no longer pushing to restrain your spirit to fit into someone else's mold, judgment or even a job.

Remember that, without you, the things that you can manifest would not exist. Give back to the universe by manifesting through your true, unique, essential, beautiful and most precious self.


About the Author

Lynn Scheurell, Creative Catalyst, works with soul-driven entrepreneurs to create a livelihood from their true purpose. This type of business development requires extreme personal clarity in combination with innovation and active implementation of proven business practices. Download a free report to learn "The Seven Deadly Mistakes That Keep Soul-Driven Business Owners from Making Money" at www.mycreativecatalyst.com.

What Is Your Destiny?

By Michael Beck
The other evening I was out having a cigar and a beverage. While sitting around a fire pit (an outdoor wood fire), I overheard an interesting conversation. [We were all sitting and standing pretty close to one another and this group was talking fairly loudly, so one couldn’t help but hear.] This guy was bemoaning how bad his life was. He looked to be in his late twenties. His wife offered a different perspective on their life, but he would have none of that. He went on about the many events in his life that had defeated him (and he obviously felt he was a “victim”). He complained about all the things that had happened to him or had been done to him. He complained that no matter what he did, things kept turning out wrong. He even pointed to where they lived as proof that he was a failure. Then he continued on about how God must have abandoned or punished him. He also decided that surely he must have “bad” genes – that he was simply wired for failure.

Now maybe you don’t know anyone like that or maybe all that sounded a bit extreme, but let me draw a parallel to some of the people I’ve met in business. I’ve seen lots people who have done “OK”. They have a business, a home, and a family. They can pay their bills for the most part – at least the minimum payments. They’re liked by others, and view themselves as capable and competent. And yet… something is wrong. In spite of what they’ve achieved, they know they are destined for more. Inside, in their heart of hearts, they know that where they are in life is not where they could be. Some of these folks secretly feel they’re destined for greatness of one kind or another. Some secretly feel they’re destined to impact large numbers of people. Some secretly feel they’re destined to have great financial success and recognition. But none of these folks have realized their destiny. In fact, they’re often nowhere near where they want to be.

No doubt they started their adult life in pursuit of their destiny with big goals, ambition and energy. But time after time their efforts met with mediocre results. They tried one approach to achieve success, but didn’t have much success. Then they tried a different approach, but got the same result. And next, a third approach with poor results. And consequently, slowly but surely, they begin to accept mediocrity. They begin to accept the “fact” that they just aren’t meant to succeed. That the destiny they once envisioned for themselves was a fantasy and instead, their “fate” or ultimate destiny is to be “average”. These people have the very same mentality as our friend at the fire pit. These people end up adopting a defeatist attitude – and you already know how I feel about the importance and impact of attitude on our life. (If not, go to my website and read my recent article on attitude.)

Maybe you are one of those people I described above. Maybe you (secretly) know what your true destiny is, but have gotten to a point where that spark of a vision has almost been extinguished. Maybe you have tried “everything” and feel that your “destiny” is one of mediocrity – living check to check, not having much of an impact, and/or being completely unenthused.

Anyone can make great strides towards advancing in the direction of their destiny – but it takes a definite shift in attitude, a definite shift in action, and a bit of courage…

An Anger Management Programme Will Help Adults

An Anger Management Programme will help adults as individuals or as couples. A typical private session will attempt to sort out issues, give a really clear and in-depth understanding of anger and emotions so that the participant understands how everything works and why things have been the way they have.

Children from angry families most often pick up anxiety, frustration and agitation that flavor how they see life. The research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder shows that early trauma in life interferes with the ability to regulate emotion, which then leads to excessive anger, fear and rage. This inability to deal with frustration and anxiety can lead to extreme out bursts of aggression. Or it can surface as icy cold hostility as a means of controlling other using looks of disgust to convey displeasure.

People experience anger in many different ways and for many different reasons. What makes you angry may only mildly irritate one of your colleagues, and have little to no effect on another. This subjectivity can make anger difficult to understand and deal with; it also highlights that the response
is down to you. So anger management focuses on managing your response (rather than specific external factors). By learning to manage your anger, you can develop techniques to deal with and expel the negative response and emotions before it causes you serious stress, anxiety and discomfort.

If your outbursts, rages or bullying are negatively affecting relationships with family, friends, co-workers and even complete strangers, it's time to change the way you express your anger. You can take steps on your own to improve your anger management.

Have a look at http://www.cureangermanagement.com for more information.

This author writes informative articles on various subjects. Learn how to manage your anger. http://www.cureangermanagement.com

Do You Know the Consequences to Road Rage?

Over the years of driving I have watched and been involved with road rage. From what I have been through it is so much easier and safer to just let the other person by, or in! A couple of weeks ago a friend and I witnessed a terrible wreck. I told her, I thought that the accident looked like it was road rage. We couldn't even tell what kind of car it was, it looked like a small compact car. The worst thing was there was a baby hanging out the back window, still in its car seat and gas was dripping on the poor child. There were 3 flights for life helicopters and the highway was closed down for a while. This accident really disturbed me and I called one of the local tow truck drivers and asked him what happened.

I cried when he told me the story. I want everybody to listen and start thinking when people get you angry and you want to pull a road rage on them.

A local family up in the mountains of Colorado, mother, 14 year old daughter and a baby at the most a year old, is now suffering because a mother didn't stop and think what she was doing and how it was going to affect them the rest of their lives.

From the tow truck driver's description, this is what happened. There was a Buick Century with the family and a Subaru Legacy. The Legacy moved into the passing lane and tried to pass the Century. The Century sped up and got into the fast lane in front of the Legacy and slammed on her brakes. The Legacy had no option other than to hit them, it spun the Century around into a tree, which flipped the car then was t-boned by another tree. The person in the Legacy was not injured and was very upset that there was nothing he could do.

The extent of the injuries received by the family are, the mother has a broken neck, broken back, and internal injuries. The 14 year old received a broken neck and trauma. The baby was released the next day from the hospital.

When the mother heals, she will be facing all of these charges: Careless driving, reckless driving, road rage, Child abuse resulting in injuries, Child neglect and God only knows what else.

So she is now facing losing her family and never being able to see them again, paying for all the medical bills, Looking at jail time and stiff penalties and the picture of her children being in a car wreck that their mother caused.

The children are facing the mental and physical injuries without their mother by their side. The children have to figure out why their mother did what she did. They have to suffer not having her near them because of her actions.

Please think about this when you get angry out there on the road. Yes there are dumb and stupid people out there, and why be one of them? Think what you might cause! Think about your family, your life and your home!

Just smile at that person trying to pass you, pray for the person that won't let you pass. And understand that maybe that person not letting you in the traffic might be having a rougher day than you, so, don't make it worse, make it better, let them in and forgive them. You might need it someday too. Life's too short to put your family and your life at risk on a stupid person out driving.

Carolyn Roome
303-816-7112
http://getyourlifebackonline.com
http://mountaingirlllc.com

Anger Management - 5 Techniques That Work

It can be heart wrenching to watch the effect of unrestrained anger on a family or a work place. Anger has destroyed a lot of families and has wrecked several relationships. Unrestrained anger can make you a very lonely person. If you have a problem curbing the angry beast inside of you, you can adopt the following anger management techniques;

(i)Diffuse: Diffusing your anger involves diverting your anger and channeling it into more beneficial activities. Research has shown that vigorous activities tend to take away the force of anger. Try engaging in activities such as swimming, jogging, running or going for a long walk. Such activities tend to clear your head and make you less angry.

(ii)Change base: When you are angry, try and move away from the source of your anger in other to get a rein on your emotions. The chances that you will lose your cool when you remain in the same vicinity of your trigger are high. So the next time someone makes you angry, leave the place. Walk away. It's not cowardice. It's maturity.

(iii)Count to ten: When you feel your grip on anger loosing its hold, you can mentally start counting to ten. Counting diverts your concentration elsewhere and reduces the intensity of your anger.

(iiii)See the funny side: Humor is always an excellent anger control tool. When you are vexed, try and see the other side of the coin... the funny side of the coin and feel your anger draining away.

(iiiii)Judge favorably: Make excuses for the person who gets you angry and don't be too quick to jump into conclusions. Anger is usually a response to the way you judge situations and actions. Changing your judgment about a particular anger trigger can help to prevent you from getting angry all the time. anger management is simply a matter of making the decision to be calm.

Chris Brady provides more free and extremely helpful information in his content rich Anger Management Help Home page. To search through other helpful articles on the website, explore Anger Management Help Sitemap. Click here: http://www.angermanagementhelp.info

Emotions That Give Rise to Anger

Its common knowledge that human emotions are versatile and fickle. What's uncommon knowledge is that human emotions such as anger are actually a product of other baser human emotions. Anger is the result of other emotions. You just don't get angry. Something compels you to get angry. Research shows that anger is always linked to other emotions. The following are emotional sources of anger;

• Low self esteem: Some people suffer from an inferiority complex and tend to think that no matter what they do, they will never measure up with expectations, whether it's theirs or the expectations of people around them. Such people respond to this emotion in two ways. They either go through life avoiding confrontation or they get angry at what they perceive to be the unfairness of life and charge at every trigger like a hot headed bull. Feeling inferior can cause a whole load of anger to build up-- at you... at your parents and at society. For these people, uncontrolled anger is a form of power that usually ends up bringing them down.

• Frustration: A constant feeling of frustration can give birth to anger. If you go through life getting frustrated at not having your way in most things, you will ultimately end up getting angry all the time.

• Envy: Envy is a strong negative emotion that can lead to anger if it isn't tackled early enough. Envy can be a real stronghold that prompts you to get angry especially when your object of envy seems to have everything under control.

• Unforgiveness: Bearing a grudge no mater how 'small' it is can lead to anger. Anger that is a product of unforgiveness usually festers on the inside of a person. Unforgiveness leads to anger because it is an emotion that lets the person to constantly remember the wrong done to him or her.

• Fear: When you are constantly fearful of things in every sphere of your life, you tend to be an angry person. Fear plagues you and keeps you from living life to the full. Usually, your anger will be subconsciously directed towards yourself for what you perceive to be a weakness and towards other people for not accepting your fears.

If you have an anger management problem, finding the root cause of it can be a positive step towards taking care of it.

Chris Brady provides more free and extremely helpful information in his content rich Anger Management Help Home page. To search through other helpful articles on the website, explore Anger Management Help Sitemap. Click here: http://www.angermanagementhelp.info

4 Perks to Having Anger Management Counseling Online

More and more people are turning to anger management classes to help them handle their anger problems. The management of anger problems are designed to help people who cannot control their temper to find meaningful and positive ways to express their feelings. With the constant advancement of the internet, you can have access to classes online. Which have a lot of advantages which include the following;

• Anonymity: With online classes, You don't need to feel embarrassed, you don't have to worry about revealing your identity. You can chat with your online counselor without revealing your name or your status. Many people are leery about revealing who they are to an online counselor. No one will know about who you are if you were to sign up with a anger problem program online.

• Convenience: Programs usually are run at a particular time or place that demands that you build your schedule around it. With online managing your anger programs however, you can attend classes anytime you like and build the time table around your schedule.

• Absence of pressure to talk in a group: In a typical setting, you are inclined to share your struggles with other people who are going through the same thing. Basically, with an online anger control program, it's a one on one interaction with your counselor. You won't need to go through the humiliation of talking about your problems in front of total strangers.

• Cheaper: Classes online are cheaper than those done offline. You will obtain a certificate at the end of your course online just like a person who goes to an offline class to take anger management courses.

Chris Brady provides more free and extremely helpful information in his content rich Anger Management Help Home page. To search through other helpful articles on the website, explore Anger Management Help Sitemap. Click here: http://www.angermanagementhelp.info

Anger and Aggression

Everyone is subjected to anger and aggression in different scenarios. This is a simple fact of life. The key is learning how to control the anger rather than letting it get out of control and ultimately control you. Anger management skills are required by all of us nowadays and we have to accept that there are problems lying underneath the anger, which we often ignore. These are the real issues, which should be addressed in order to manage our anger.

The problems, which we face throughout our lives, accumulate in our minds as frustrations and can make a person very edgy. When we are in this frame of mind we can abruptly turn on anyone, without a reason. So the major issue is that there are frustrations that make a person go ballistic and such frustrations have to be be managed in a appropriate manner. Anger management techniques are essential in preventing this type of outburst by addressing the underlying issues.

Anger is directly linked to positive or negative attitudes. Most people are prone to the latter, which is totally destructive.Positive anger is a bit more difficult, but not impossible to achieve, because with positive anger, you can find solutions to your problems in a cool and level-headed manner. This is the best form of anger management.

You can learn a lot of anger management techniques by undergoing anger management counselling which will assist in turning your negative anger into positive anger. We should not lose our cool during any situation and should use all the anger management techniques,methods and tools we have at our disposal to help solve our problems.

For example,if you have a fight with your best friend, you get a feeling deep inside that something has gone wrong and you are in danger of losing your best friend. This can be a source of frustration for you and what you must do is talk to your friend about the problem you are both experiencing and resolve it. Remember, good friends are hard to find.

Another real life example is when you find out that someone is spreading negative rumors about you, like you drink, or you use drugs, or you are stealing money from home. Obviously anyone will get angry in such a situation, but you cannot go to that person spreading the rumors and just hit or assault them which quite often anger outbursts can prompt you to do.

The best way to solve this type of problem is to go to the person or call them and ask in an assertive manner what his/her problem is and why he/she is spreading such bad and untrue rumors about you. He/she will probably deny doing these things but irrespective of any denials you need to tell them in a more assertive manner that you are aware that this has been going on for a while and you will not tolerate it anymore and he/she should stop immediately.

Above all it is important to remain calm throughout the exchange and not let your anger show. This is of paramount importance .Outbursts of anger in this type of situation are only likely to make matters worse, rather than lead to a reasonable conclusion. They will come up with the truth eventually and usually apologize.

Assertiveness is a positive form of anger management that needs to be practiced.

One of the best ways, recommended by many anger management teachers, to solve problems of any kind is never ever do anything out of anger as this is very likely to cause more harm. Always approach problems in a calm and controlled manner, or walk away until you have managed to calm down.

The best anger management tip is to stop and think before acting out your aggression.

Article written by Norman Holden editor and owner of http://www.AngerManagementNow.com a website about Anger and Aggression.

Visit his website on a regular basis for up-to-date news and help.

Anger Management For Men

There are many things in life that men get easily annoyed or impatient with such as traffic jams, ignorant drivers, complaining, inappropriate text messages; the list goes on and on. It's normal for anyone to get angry with these things, but the feelings seem stronger for some men than others. For the extremely hot headed, the littlest thing could make them fly off the handle. Some even enjoy having a bad temper; it makes them feel more masculine. Uncontrolled anger can even end a marriage or career or may be deadly. How do you know that your anger is out of control?

There has been evidence that confirms anger can diminish your health. Anger is more than just an emotion; it is actually psychological as well as physiological. When you lose your temper at a moments notice your nervous system leads to increased breathing and cortisol levels, higher blood pressure, dilated pupils, and headaches. Basically your body is getting into the flight or fight response mode due to the increased stress.

A recent study found that people who had increased levels of anger with normal blood pressure were more likely to develop a coronary artery disease and 3x's more likely to get a heart attack than the least angry people. Anger's stress hormones could contribute to arteriosclerosis, the build up of plaques in the arteries that can cause heart attacks and strokes. It has also been linked to depression. Angry people are less likely to take care of themselves, eat unhealthy, smoke, and drink excessively. Being angry is fine as long as you do something positive with it. The greatest music and works of art have been a result of anger and frustration.

You can control anger the same ways you would relieve stress by practicing deep breathing techniques, exercising, going for a walk, leaving the environment which caused the anger, close your eyes and count to 10 and picture yourself in a calm place. It is a common myth that acting in a rage by throwing things, for example can help rid the anger. Blowing your stack is not a good option but neither is suppressing your anger. If you are annoyed with someone you need to try to resolve it in a rational way by being assertive, not aggressive or passive aggressive in any way. If you know a certain situation or person pushes your buttons, try to prepare for it or better yet avoid it. Serious problems need to be treated with an anger management program.

Lyla Feldman writes about health and fitness. Some of her favorite passions include writing about energy drinks and natural sleep aids.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lyla_Feldman

Being Confident: Developing Inner Game Strategies

It happens to some of the best athletes, CEOs, actors, and public speakers in the world the loss of words, the inability to take action or even move, and the proverbial dropping of the ball. For some, choking under pressure comes at the 9th inning when the game is tied, bases are loaded, there are two outs and the best hitter in the league has just stepped up to the plate. For others it comes with the mere thought of playing the game.

An athlete, CEO, actor, or speaker can have all the outer game tools in his or her toolbox but if she doesn't have the inner game needed to put those tools to work she will find herself frustrated, falling short of her full potential, and choking under pressure.

Imagine your inner game like the software in a computer. You can have the greatest hardware on the planet, a shiny new 32 inch monitor, slick new wireless keyboard and mouse, a really cool black tower with pretty blue lights, and a great workstation to put it all on but if you don't have the proper software inside or if you have some old obsolete software to run the system and perform the tasks you want it, all that outer equipment or hardware won't mean squat.

The inner game of confidence is your ability to control your focus, your state, and your emotions rather than letting them control or rule you. It's the ability to believe in yourself and your ability to succeed.

I'll go one step further and say it's the knowing that you will succeed. The key for anyone looking to create more success in their lives whether in athletics, business, or even relationships is the ability to master their own inner game.

The empowering emotional state of being confident is triggered in most cases by an internal thought or vision. And so are the disempowering emotions of self doubt, frustration, fear, and disappointment.

Because of the way our brains process information every time that inner voice suggests something negative and you entertain that thought, your brain creates a picture or internal representation of that thought. If for example the pitcher facing that best hitter in the league were to say to himself, "don't let this guy get a hit" and he entertained that thought his brain would immediately make a picture of the guy hitting it out of the park, dramatically increasing the likelihood of it happening.

So next time you're in a potential choke situation and that little inner voice says something that could keep you from succeeding, simply acknowledge it and usurp its power by saying "thanks but no thanks! Then refocus and take action.

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Learn more about mastering your mental game with the Inner Game of Confidence program and extended 6 hour audio version. Tom Terwilliger has spent the past 25 years learning, practicing, and disseminating, the benefits physical fitness, and sound nutrition. Tom is a former Mr. America, transformational speaker/trainer and television and radio talk show host.

Why People Feel the Way They Do

by Annette Estes
Have you ever wondered why some people seem driven to make a lot of money while others honestly seem to be satisfied with just "getting by?"

Have you known people who do so much for others they become enablers and you think that's not a good thing? Or do you know people who seem so immersed in their own needs they don't do enough to help others?

If another person's beliefs and attitudes are diametrically opposed to yours, you'll have problems relating to that person and may have serious conflict because of your differences. Basically, the greater the gap between your values and someone else's, the more difficulty you'll have with that person.

Here are some tips on how to understand your own and other people's attitudes and improve your relationships with them.

Know Your Values

There are six values, first defined by psychologist Eduard Spranger, that we all have in varying degrees. They are:

Theoretical (passion for knowledge) Utilitarian (passion for money and what is useful) Aesthetic (passion for beauty, balance, and harmony) Social (passion for service to others) Individualistic (passion for power and control) Traditional (passion for finding the highest meaning in life)

Your top two values are what drive you and must be fulfilled for you to achieve happiness in life.

The characteristics of people high in a particular values cluster go deep and are too numerous to mention here. But if you know and understand your own values, you'll have more clarity as to what you want to do with your life.

Know Others' Values

If your top value is someone else's lowest value, you're going to have misunderstandings and conflict with that person. I once had a client whose top two values were Social and Traditional. She and her daughter were having serious relationship problems. We discovered (with values assessments) that the daughter had her mother's top two values as numbers five and six. It was like Mother Teresa and an atheist trying to see eye to eye.

But once they understood where their conflict was coming from, they were able to improve their relationship considerably.

Understand Your Differences

Certain values clusters produce strong conflicts with others. For example, if you're high in the Theoretical attitude, you value knowledge. You take an analytical approach to solving problems and believe decisions must be rationally justified.

If the other person is high in the Aesthetic value, you'll conflict with the way you see things. High Aesthetic people value the artistic episodes of life and tend to make emotional decisions, based on the way they feel.

Whether we call this left brain vs. right brain or head vs. heart, the cause is differing values. Understanding values characteristics will take you a long way toward resolving your differences.

Let People Be Who They Are

Understand people have different passions that drive them to get what they want. As Anais Nin said, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." If you can appreciate that values are neither good nor bad - just different, it can help you appreciate other people's point of view and be less judgmental toward them.

Set Clear Boundaries

Of course, in your efforts to improve relationships, you should never let people criticize you for being who you are, either. Generally, when people know you understand where they're "coming from," most will be more understanding with you.

It's important to make it clear to others how they may and may not treat you. I had a friend once who was high in the Theoretical value. She used to roll her eyes and get irritated with my "stupidity" for not knowing something she thought I should know. When I explained that I'm not stupid, that I graduated magna cum laude, second in my class in college and was uncomfortable with her attitude, she stopped treating me with disdain.

It's all about having self respect and respect for others. When you and another person know and understand your differing attitudes and why, communication improves and you can develop more relationship compatibility.

To improve your relationships, order the ebook "Why Can't You See it My Way? Resolving Values Conflicts at Work and Home" at http://www.resolveconflictnow.com Annette Estes is a Certified Professional Behavioral and Values Analyst, life coach and Managing Director of The Estes Group. Get your own personal values assessment by contacting her at http://www.coachannette.com


About the Author

To improve your relationships, order the ebook "Why Can't You See it My Way? Resolving Values Conflicts at Work and Home" at http://www.resolveconflictnow.com Annette Estes is a Certified Professional Behavioral and Values Analyst, life coach and Managing Director of The Estes Group. You can also have your personal values assessment by contacting her at http://www.coachannette.com

The Power of Thoughts

by Peter James Field
That thoughts have a consequence is one of the most basic of all mental laws.

The fact is that we so often choose to view thoughts as flighty things -- once thought, we wish them away as though they never were. No harm in this, we reason, it's just a thought. Yet perhaps this is not the wisest approach we can take.

Believing that thoughts themselves have no real and actual affect upon us, we can so very easily allow even the most negative thought to go unchecked and unchallenged. After all, we reason, it's only a thought, it doesn't really matter.

It's as if we believe that thoughts are wispy and insubstantial things, with no real existence, capable of dissipating and disappearing into the ether once we have experienced them. Perhaps it's because our thoughts are such private things that it's easy to imagine them as insubstantial and intangible.

This of course can only happen if we hold the belief that the mind and the body are quite separate, disparate entities, each with its own distinct domain, operating independently of each other.

The truth, of course, is that mind and body are indeed interconnected, with each affecting the other. Each thought we think has its consequence. And those consequences can indeed have a tremendous affect, not only on our mind and our feelings, but also on our body. Negative or positive, thoughts do indeed have a very real affect upon us.

Let me illustrate this with a simple little exercise that nicely demonstrates the tangible effects of thought - and the interconnectedness and inseparability of mind and body. To do this, I am going to ask you to use your imagination.

Imagine yourself walking over to your refrigerator. As you open the door, there's the soft sound of the seal being broken and perhaps the feeling of cold air escaping. Now, imagine that there's a lemon in there and imagine yourself reaching in and taking that lemon out. Maybe you can sense its cold feel, as you carry it over to a board where you can slice it.

Now imagine yourself taking a knife and slicing the lemon in half, lengthways. Perhaps you can see the white, pithy part and some seeds too, as juice trickles out. Now cut the lemon again, so that you have a quarter, a nice wedge. Lift it up and hold it under your nose. Perhaps you can almost smell the pungent lemon aroma. Now imagine yourself sinking your teeth into that lemon wedge. Really squeeze it so that the juice spurts into your mouth and onto your tongue, maybe some of the juice even trickles down your lips onto your chin.

Exercise over.

If you really did imagine sinking your teeth into that lemon and squeezing the juice into your mouth then a couple of things will probably have happened: The muscles of your jaw will have automatically tightened as you did so and there will have been an increase of saliva in your mouth.

Now, we know that the flow of saliva is not under the control of the conscious mind; it's controlled by the unconscious mind. It simply cannot be willed.

What's happened, of course, is that the subconscious mind cannot distinguish between real and imaginary. For it, a thought is treated as a reality and an imagined lemon is as real as an actual lemon. The simple act of thinking about sinking your teeth into a lemon is enough to produce the exact same physical affect as if you had really done so.

A thought which existed in the mind has had a tangible effect on the body.

In India, the very real nature of thought has been recognised for milleniums. There, astrologers make horoscopes for the birth of a thought or a question, in order to better understand it. It is a practice that has survived thousands of years. This branch of astrology is called horary astrology. For these astrologers, a thought is something very real and tangible.

The fact is that the thoughts we think affect us on many levels, including the physical. This means that the thoughts we have and the things we tell ourselves, about ourselves, in the privacy of our own mind affect not only how we feel, but what we become. After all, if thoughts have physical consequences, then they can make us ill or well.

When you find yourself thinking negatively, or experiencing a period of difficulty in your approach to the world, when you find yourself thinking thoughts such as: 'I'll probably come down with...'; 'I'll never be able to..'; 'I'll probably only fail...'; 'I don't really deserve...'; immediately replace the thought with a positive statement or affirmation. And repeat it at least 10 times. Make a habit of this and you can change your reality.

Here are some examples you can use, and of course you can create your own as you go along. Select one and use it for at least a month.

'I am becoming balanced and whole in body, mind and spirit'

'The past is over now and I am free to move on with my life'

'I am alive, healthy and free'

Be sure to repeat your positive statement 10 times when you awaken in the morning and just before sleeping at night. Repeat it any time you find yourself engaging in negative thinking. Remember, practice is the key here. Simple persistence produces real results!

'What we are is the product of what we have thought. It is founded on thought. It is made up of our thoughts.' The Buddha, The Dhammapada

About the Author

A leading British hypno-psychotherapist, with practices in London and Birmingham, UK, Peter Field is the author of many articles on psychotherapy and hypnosis. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Health and Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. More articles and useful information can be found on his website: http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk

Rewiring Your Brain to a Millionaire Mind

by Marie Leonard
When I read Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker, the way I looked at being rich as a possibility for me took on a very different meaning.

Finally, here was someone putting in plain language what it was that made me different from someone who was rich and showed you how to do it in a practical and applicable manner.

Throughout his book, Mr. Eker has what he calls "wealth principles".

The first principle simply states that our income can only grow to the extent that we grow as individuals.

But in order to do this, you have to identify what it is that is stopping you from growing in the first place.

According to Mr. Eker, how we think about money starts with our very first blueprint. This blueprint is formed by verbal programming, modeling of our behavior on others and by experiences we have had during our life.

Without going into the nitty gritty, let it suffice to say that many of us suffer from a skewed idea of what it is to be rich and have money. We have been programmed without our conscious knowledge to think in a certain way. This is what is keeping us poor.

But our brain can be rewired to think as a rich person thinks.

Mr. Eker believes that declarations are a powerful secret for change and he consistently uses declarations throughout his book.

He is fond of saying "What you hear you forget, what you see you remember, what you do, you understand".

This is why he has us touch our heart while verbally declaring the statement and then touching our head with our forefinger while reprogramming our brain to the new statement.

The first one goes like this with your hand on your heart: My inner world creates my outer world.

Now touch your head and say: I have a millionaire mind.

Now I wanted to add to that a way that would accelerate our re-programming efforts.

I have been in the alternative health field for 14 years and have studied many different ways to heal the body and mind.

One very easy and simple technique that shines in the area of healing the mind is EFT, which stand for Emotional Freedom Technique.

EFT is simply an emotional version of acupuncture except needles aren't necessary. Instead, you stimulate well established energy meridian points on your body by tapping on them with your fingertips.

The process is easy to memorize and is portable so you can do it anywhere. I created a video on YouTube that shows you exactly how to do it.

The following declaration by Mr Eker is a wonderful declaration which your intellect believes but has not yet imprinted itself upon your subconscious.

"What I heard about money isn't necessarily true. I choose to adopt new ways of thinking that support my happiness and success."

Touch your head: "I have a millionaire mind".

EFT can speed up the process considerably to re-connect the wires in your brain to actually believe this statement. However, we will need to forgive ourselves for believing the wrong thing for so long.

The first affirmation to use with EFT will be: "Even though I have allowed myself to be programmed, I deeply and completely accept myself."

The basic recipe is to do what is called the sequence, the gamut and then finish with the sequence once more, just like building a sandwich with the meat in the middle of 2 pieces of bread.

To see all the specific points you need to use while doing this exercise, you will need to see the video. On the other hand if you are familiar with EFT and already know the tapping procedure, then you might be interested in applying this affirmation to rewire your brain to that of a millionaire mind.

Once the sequence is done it is followed by the gamut which fine tunes the brain using the brain's creative side and really hastens the progress.

We are always looking for ways to improve ourselves, especially in the area of money and how we think about it. If you continue to think that there is just not enough to go around then that is what the Universe will give you but learn to think in "abundance" then you will reap "abundance".

About the Author

Marie Leonard is a health researcher and network marketer who is dedicated to helping people improve their lives physically and financially. Follow the technique with her here: http://thekeenmarketer.com/videos/ and then click "Only The Technique" video. enjoy!

5 Ways Dreams Will Change Your Life

by Carla McNeil
Dreams - what are they?

Dreams are different things to different people. Thank goodness we all have different dreams. The world would be a pretty dull place if we all had the same dreams. Dreams are a series of images or pictures that we can see. They can be hopes or aspirations that we have. Dreams are something we have longed for, maybe even since we were children. Dreams are something you can see yourself doing in the future. I can see myself living in financial freedom - free from the corporate slave camp.

1) Dreams will give you the map for your future

In order to get anywhere in life you need to know where you are going. If we do not decide for ourselves where we want to be in five years, then others will decide for us. Who would you rather have making the decisions regarding YOUR life --YOU or someone else? Dreams allow us to have the image of our future on the inside. The dream must be on the inside before it will show up on the outside.

Can you imagine where you would end up if you attempted to drive across the country without a map? The map can provide the big picture "my driving route from Vancouver to West Palm Beach". It can also provide the specific detail on simply how to get out of the city of Vancouver.

When we start the dreaming process it can take on a life of its own and the map begins to develop. In my journey, as I achieve the smaller dreams, the big dreams just keep getting bigger. Things that I dreamt about years ago that I believed were "way too big" for me, are now coming true. As I achieve those smaller dreams the ideas, examples and means for the larger dreams simply show up in my life, my map is growing and developing.

2.) Dreams help you handle the negatives in your life

We need to keep a watch out for those dream thieves. They come in ways you wouldn't expect. Your family or friends is where you can really be blindsided. Receiving a remark from a family member or a friend like "Who do you think you are?" or "Your name ain't Rockefeller" can devastate you, or even worse can make you abandon your dream.

Being prepared is our best defence! Simply knowing that it can happen helps. Understanding why people do that to their friends and family helps even more. They do not want you to leave them behind. They want you to stay in that nice comfy niche with them for the rest of your lives. If that nice comfy niche is not the life of your dreams, it is time to move on.

3.) Dreaming keeps you young

Many people believe that only kids dream, that once we become adults we "should" not dream anymore. (Tell that to someone who dreams about winning the lotto - use a different example -this doesn't make your point use e.g. Harlan Sanders or Abe Lincoln) or the grandparents who dream of taking their grandchildren to Disneyland . Granted in our society today children are better at dreaming, but I believe that to be one of our biggest tragedies that we are not taught to dream throughout our entire lives.

Dreaming helps us to stay young. I love this quote by John Barrymore. "You are not old until regret takes the place of dreams."

4) Dreams will give you that reason for living

When I was in my mid-thirties I was diagnosed with depression. I was able to get out of that depression without the use of drugs because I began personal development as well as doing things for others instead of focusing on myself. That personal development allowed me to take the first steps and start dreaming again. Dreams are possible if you can see them on the inside. We are not given a dream we cannot accomplish, our dreams are our reason for being here.

5.) Dreaming about the impossible makes huge impacts on yourself and others

Sometimes dreams seem impossible, but where would we be if it were not for the dreamers of the world like Walt Disney or Bill Gates? Can you imagine Walt Disney standing in those orange groves in Florida and having the dream of Disneyworld? What an awesome reason for getting up in the morning! You wouldn't be reading this on your computer if it were not for Bill Gates. Both men have proven to the world that once you see that dream on the inside you can make it come true. I can see you doing better with your family, your job, your business, your relationships, and your life!! Where do your dreams fit in? YOU can come up with a great idea, a wonderful reason to get up in the morning and make it come true.

You can get started right now on your dreams. What are they, if you have no idea I want you to sit quietly for one uninterrupted hour with pen and paper. You need to start writing what your dreams/goals are. When you sit for one hour you can get past all the great "stuff" that most of us want like the home of our dream, that great car or that awesome family vacation.

Be as specific as you can. Once you write those dreams out you will then be able to uncover any other dreams from your heart. That is where the fun begins. Once you get them written out, send me an email with all your dreams listed. Committing them to paper and sharing them with someone else furthers the process of making them real.

I look forward to reading your dreams! And thank you for having the courage to write them down and share.

About the Author

Carla has discovered the beauty of a home based business. She is building a team of champions who want to live the life they were meant to live. Carla assists, coaches and mentors her team to get out of the "corporate slave camp" and do;

1) What they Want

2) When They Want

3) With Whom They Want

Always on the lookout for new team members - Are You Next? - Carla@RetireWithCarla.com

A Snake Is A Snake

by Shalisha
What do you do when your husband cheats on you with your best friend? I never thought this would ever happen to anyone I knew. Actually, I never thought this kind of thing happened to anyone. My best friend Gina, myself and Alice were childhood best friends. We did everything together. We even all went to the same college. When Gina met Roger on campus, it was love at first sight. They seemed like the perfect match and had everything in common.

I could sense that Alice had a lot of envy towards Roger and Gina for being the perfect couple. I couldn't understand Alice's barbed comments directed at Gina behind her back. But then again, I always had a deep mistrust for Alice. I ignored her catty comments, but always made a mental note to keep her at arm's length distance. On Valentine's Day, Roger proposed to Gina at the most exclusive restaurant in New York City. Gina was elated. Roger's parents were well-to-do, and he bought her an engagement ring to the tune of $40,000.00. Needless to say, Alice was beside herself with jealousy. She didn't bother to conceal her jealousy either. Roger and Gina were married 2 years later.

One weekend, the four of us booked a weekend trip at a Club Getaway sort of deal, and after a night of partying and drinking, myself, Gina, Roger and Alice decided to call it a night. In the middle of the night Gina and I heard noises. We got out of bed and listened closely. It was Roger cheating on Gina with Alice. Gina burst open the door and had a stunned look on her face. I wanted to die. Needless to say, Alice lost a best friend, Roger lost his wife, Gina lost her heart, and I was stuck in the middle.

What do you do when your best friend sleeps with your husband? I know this is hindsight, but, I believe people tell us who they are when we first meet them. I never trusted Alice. To me, Alice always came across as competitive, manipulative and jealous, even as children. Gina always brushed off Alice's jealous comments about other women and flirting with other people's boyfriends. I didn't. To me, I knew that if Alice could be so blatant about flirting with someone else's boyfriend, she was capable of doing anything - even to her own friends. She proved me right.

As for Roger, he showed us (Alice included) who he was way before they got married. Roger was extremely handsome and charismatic. Lots of women flirted with him and he gladly reciprocated - even in front of Gina. I always told Gina that his behavior was not only disrespectful, but insensitive and hurtful. Gina, as always, brushed it off as him "just being himself". Well, I guess you could say that Gina was right. Roger was being "himself" and Alice was "being herself." It's too bad Gina wouldn't believe what they were telling her through their behaviors.

The moral of the story? People tell you who they are within the first few minutes of meeting them. Had Gina paid close attention to Alice's behavior and Roger's behavior instead of trivializing their behaviors, she would have been spared the heartbreak, hurt, and humiliation.

For a Free 15 minute live chat consultation on relationship advice and/or diet and fitness, please visit me at http://howilost90pounds.com or you can email me at shalisha42@aol.com.

The Keys To Good Communication

Clear communication is a key factor to a happy and fulfilling life. How well you communicate will determine the quality of all of your relationships, therefore determining the overall quality of your life.

The reason why most people have unsatisfactory results in their life, is because they have poor communication skills. People get frustrated when they don't get what they want,and often times don't realize it is because they did not communicate clearly, what it is they wanted.

Poor results come from poor communication, not only in personal communication, but also in metaphysical communication. Many times people do not get exactly what they want in life because their communication to the Universe or the Higher Power and to themselves is unclear.

You must be very clear on exactly what it is you want when communicating with another person, The Universe, or yourself.

I know you may be thinking, what do I mean with yourself. A lot of times we are wishy washy with what we want. We tell ourselves "I kind of want this,but I also kind of want that." or "I guess that would be alright.". We need to be very specific with ourselves of exactly what it is we want. We cannot express clearly, to someone else, what we want if we are unclear, about what we want, ourselves.

First we will discuss how to communicate with your Higher Power to get what you want, then we will discuss how to communicate with other people. I am using the term "Higher Power" or "Universe" because I do not want to offend any one's religious beliefs. You can replace the term Higher Power with God or whatever name you believe the creative source to be called. The principles for communication will be the same.

To manifest what you want in life, from a metaphysical standpoint, I would highly encourage you to sit quietly with a pen and paper, and write exactly what it is that you want to create in your life. Write what you want in great detail. The more detailed you are, the better. Remember, this is about being extremely clear about what it is that you want.

After you have written what it is that you want, I would highly suggest that you read what you wrote one to three times a day out loud. This will benefit you in two ways. First, it will help your mind get extremely clear and focused on exactly what you want. Your mind being clear will help you stay focused, take proper action and communicate to others in a more clear, concise and effective manner. The second benefit is, the two most powerful ways to communicate with the Universe, to manifest, is through writing and speaking. Writing creates the most energy, with speaking creating the second most energy. Writing and speaking to the Universe are your two most powerful ways to create what you want.

Now let's talk about our everyday communication with other people. There are many elements that go into positive effective communication. There is verbal and nonverbal communication.

The words that we use only make up 7% of our communication. The other 93% is voice tone and body language. What that means is, before you have even said a word, you have already said a lot.

It is very important to practice paying attention to your body language and voice tone. It is important to be aware of your voice tone, when you speak. Have you ever had someone ask you for something in a whiny sounding voice; or how about in a very demanding tone of voice? Think back to when someone has approached you with either of these voice tones. Did you really want to give them what they were asking for? Probably not, you were probably pretty turned off by their approach. Having a friendly confident tone can be very effective.

Body language is huge! So many people are giving the wrong signals and they don't even realize it. Your words and voice tone may be saying one thing, but your body is saying something very different. The non verbal speaks louder than the verbal, always. The person that you are communicating with will most often not even realize that they are being effected by your body language, however they are, it happens on a subconscious level.

Pay attention to your body language. First of all make sure you are standing up straight with your shoulders back. Good posture communicates confidence. Confidence is attractive to everyone. You are much more likely to have someone say yes to you, when you exude self confidence, than if you do not. Another tip is to avoid standing with your arms folded in front of you. Arms folded communicates that you are stand offish and blocking the other person from getting through to you. It also communicates disinterest.

Eye contact is so important, because of so many reasons. I will just cover a few reasons here. For one thing, it shows strong self confidence. It also allows you to have a strong connection with the person you are communicating with. A lot of people do not trust a person that avoids eye contact and building trust is the number one component to effective communication. Eye contact can be hard for some people. If you are someone who has difficulty with maintaining eye contact, begin practicing now. It begins with awareness, then practice, then mastery. One of the most important skills that you can practice and master is maintaining good eye contact.

Next comes the words that we use. Even though words are only 7% of our communication, they are still extremely important and require conscious awareness to use them effectively. There is so much to cover, when it comes to the words we use. I will share some resources for you to study on your own, that will help you with everything that we just covered. First let's cover what I believe to be one of the most important things to be aware of when it comes to the words you use.

Most people's main focus when they communicate is on themselves. They use the word "I" over and over again. Understanding that most people's main interest is themselves can be a very valuable tool for you. One of your greatest tools to be a great communicator is to stop using the word "I", "Me" and "My" so often and start using the word "You", "Your" and "Yours" much more often. People love to talk about themselves, and if you let them do it, you will be their most favorite person in the whole world, because most of the people they talk to are talking about themselves most of the time.

Another important thing to realize is that people love the sound of their own name. Use a persons name often during a conversation with them. They will be putty in your hands.

Remember, God gave us two ears and one mouth so talk less and listen more. And really listen, a lot of times when another person is speaking we are caught up in our head thinking about how we are going to respond or just waiting for our turn to speak. Listen with you complete focus and attention on what they are saying then trust that you will be able to respond organically. The best communicators are the best listeners, not the best talkers.

To really master these skills and take your communication to a whole new level, I would highly recommend that you begin to study NLP. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. By mastering NLP, you will become a master of influence. NLP will cover the best way to use your words, how to build powerful rapport, how to read other people and so much more.

Here are a couple of tips on how to build powerful rapport. Match the speaking style of the person you are talking with, whether it is in person or over the phone. It is a good idea to match the voice tone and speaking speed of the person that you are talking to.

Another powerful tool is to mirror the body language of the person you are communicating with. Don't mimic them, just subtly mirror them. When you do this you are sending them a subliminal message that you are just like them.

Remember, no matter where your communication skills currently are, you can always be better. To be a better communicator it just takes self awareness, the desire to be better and practice.

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Ryan Pearson is available for one on one Life Coaching. Go to:
http://www.lifecoachryan.com

Self Love - The Foundation of All Your Relationships

Self love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship - that with yourself. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love yourself is not simply a self esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The golden rule tells us to "love your neighbour as you love yourself". You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer though and you will find that at its very center is the command to love yourself.

The Mistaken Identity of Self Love: Let us first dispel some myths about what it means to love yourself. Self love is not about being arrogant, selfish, self-centered or egotistical. It is not about comparing yourself to others to determine if you are good enough. It is not about always putting yourself first. It is not about always getting your way. It is not about always winning. It is not about "only looking after number one".

Will the Real Self Love Please Stand Up: To love yourself is to be in awe of the miracle of your existence. It is to accept yourself as you are - the light parts and the dark - and to love them both equally. It is to be willing to receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally. It is about knowing your values and your boundaries and honouring them. It is about teaching others how to treat you by showing them how you treat yourself. It is about being kind to yourself. It is about looking after your mind, your body and your spirit - all three. It is about knowing you are worth it, not because of what you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you, but because love is your birthright no matter what.

What Do You Most Need to Hear: Take a moment to think of those things you most need to hear from others. Whether it be that they love you, or admire you, or accept you just as you are, or appreciate you, or forgive you. Take a piece of paper and write them down. Make sure to exhaust your list. You will find that what you most want to hear from others is what you most need to tell yourself. You should now have a thorough list of positive affirmations tailor made for you. Repeat them every day, morning and night and you will soon discover a sense of self love and inner peace you never had before.

You Can Only Give That Which You Possess: It is an obvious statement that you cannot give something that you do not possess, yet so many people desperately love others without having or giving love to themselves. It is little wonder that in time there reserves of love are exhausted and their relationships falter. To give love you must first have love. To have love, love yourself. Only then will you be able to truly love others for the pure joy of loving them. Give the love you wish to experience to yourself and you will find all your relationships transform in miraculous ways.

There is But One Source of All Love: There is a single, intelligent Consciousness that pervades the entire Universe - all knowing, all powerful, all loving, all creative and present everywhere at the same time. It is the Universal Mind. It is the Source of All Love. It is Love. When you know and understand the Truth that you are one with the One Source of All Love - that your very essence is love - then you will have discovered unconditional self love and unlimited reserves for everyone and everything. You will know that to love yourself is to love the One Creator.

The Benefits of Loving Yourself: Self love is a win-win for all. It provides you with an inner happiness, confidence and peace of mind that is not easily swayed by outside events and opinions. It enables you to make healthier choices and the best decisions across all areas of your life from your intimate relationships to your finances. It allows you to truly rejoice in other people's good fortune rather than wondering "why, not me" or even resenting it. It enables you to be more genuinely loving towards others and to be of greater service to the world at large. Ultimately, the more you love yourself, the more every thing and every one you encounter benefits.

In a nutshell, loving yourself is a prerequisite to loving others. Your relationships are only as strong as the foundation of your self love. Release any belief you may hold that loving yourself is selfish or egotistical and replace it with the Truth that your very essence is love, that unconditional self love is your birthright. When you know that you are one with the One Source of All Love, that you are connected to every thing and every one, you will know that you cannot possibly experience true love without first loving yourself. You will have discovered the Truth that self love is truly the greatest love of all.

Tania Kotsos is the founder and author of Mind Your Reality - Your Ultimate Guide to Using Mind Power to Create Your Reality. She has been studying mind power and the nature of reality for the last 15 years.

Go to http://www.mind-your-reality.com to visit Mind Your Reality and learn all about mind power, reality creation, the universal laws, success secrets, relationship advice and much, much more for FREE.

Healing in Abusive Relationships: 7 Secrets to Successful Survival in an Abusive Relationship

Far too often, we hear individuals in abusive relationships seeking to change their partners in order to change their relationship. While it is true that a change in either person will change the overall dynamic of the relationship, changing one's partner is only an option if it is partner-self-initiated.

Rather than holding onto something that is essentially out of one's control—actually not one's business—look to changing what is within your control and is indeed your business: yourself. In working with thousands of patients over the years, the one thing I consistently see is that when people grow to honor and respect their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual space, they have no tolerance for others not doing the same.

Now as I write this, I'm keenly aware of the hair standing up on end for those that are currently struggling in an abusive relationship. Know that I, too, lived there once. And I know that when being battered and remaining entangled in an abusive relationship, on some level, we are failing to hold reverence for that which our abusive partner has scorned.

Thus, I invite you to look within for the revolution. It is from here that lasting change occurs. It is truly from within.

In closing, I leave you with seven secrets to successful survival in an abusive relationship, during and afterwards should the relationship remain abusive.

1) Write—journal daily both your inner world and your outer world.

2) Whole food—nourish your body with that which is truly nourishing.

3) Water—let pure water be your primary beverage and saturate every cell with it.

4) Work-out—find a body strengthening and toning routine and make it a regimen.

5) The Work—when you feel mental and/or emotional distress, open your thoughts to an inquiry until they let go of you and your authentic truth will emerge.

6) Welcome—expect the universe and the individuals in your world to support, honor and respect you.

7) Wholeness—meditate and know the inner well of well-being. How? By cultivating the effortless innocent discipline of letting it in.

If I could tell you which one of these items is most important, I would. However, I'm convinced that each one is an integral part of the healing process. If you are inclined to adopt one of these seven secrets to successful survival in an abusive relationship as a start, meditation is the place to begin. With this, all of the others naturally follow.

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For more domestic violence survivor success tips and healing insights, visit www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse

Rut Busting: How You Got Into a Rut and How to Get Out

WordNet defines a rut as a groove or furrow (especially in soft earth caused by wheels) or a monotonous routine that is hard to escape; as in "her job made her feel that she was stuck in a rut".

What is this thing that we call a rut? Is one man's rut another man's rapture?

I. What is a rut?

In nature, weight and repetition form a rut. A wagon wheel travels the same path over and over and over again until the ground retains the impression. If you've ever driven a rutted road you know that once in the rut it becomes difficult to get out. On the other hand a rut may serve a useful purpose; before a road gets paved and straightened out, it often begins as a series of ruts. So a rut may lead you to a useful place; it may just need paving.

The elements of a physical rut on a road can be compared to our ruts in life. Our lives are full of repetitious activities from eating to sleeping to brushing our teeth. Our jobs require that we take the same road or train or bus. We take the same elevator, we encounter the same people, we do the same work, we go home, sleep and start all over again.

Some repetition is useful and necessary - too much seems to lead to the formation of a rut. Let's look at the emotions that being stuck in a physical rut cause. If you can't get your bike or car out of a rut, you quickly begin to feel trapped, frustrated and stressed. Sometimes you bow to the inevitable and simply continue to move forward until the rut runs out. You may not be carrying the equipment needed to bust out of the rut. You might need someone else to help you pull out of the rut.

II. How did you get there?

When you were a toddler you learned to walk often by falling down a lot. Sooner or later repetition had its effect and walking became second nature. You might remember the first time you successfully dressed yourself or tied your shoes and now these activities are second nature.

Our human selves are gifted with this ability to learn a task so well we don't have to think about it at all. This makes us more productive; consider how long it would take you to dress and get out of the house if you had to think consciously about each step of the process.

This learning process will eventually affect any behavior that we do consistently. And this can lead to ruts. If you get home at 6 p.m. every evening and lay on the sofa for an hour, you'll eventually find you've fallen into a rut. I guess you could say that a rut is a habit that we don't like anymore.

Look at the areas of your life you consider ruts – what activity did you do repetitively that got you into the rut? Why was it a good thing at first and not good now?

III. Do you want to get out?

But if we say we don't like the rut - are we sure we really want it to go away? We must sometimes examine the reasons for our ruts. It may be there to protect us from some pain we perceive that the effort to change would cause.

Most of us don't change (behaviors, attitudes, relationships) until the pain gets great enough. This doesn't need to be physical pain - psychological and emotional pain can cause us to change as well. The desire to get out of a rut - in our relationships, our jobs, our free time - will only motivate us when the alternatives become unattractive enough.

So your first task in rut busting is to honestly ask yourself if the pain you feel is sufficient to move you in some other direction. If the answer is "no" then the next task is to begin to add reasons to change. Start a list - write down as many reasons as you can to change and a second list of reasons to let the status be "quo".

IV. How to get out of the rut.

Move in a direction perpendicular to the rut. In daily behavioral terms, this means applying direct pressure in the direction away from the rut. It means going out and walking instead of sitting in front of the TV. It means confronting the jerk at work instead of knuckling under. Ever notice how loud an engine gets when it's trying to power out of a rut? This is hard to make ourselves do but probably the quickest way to get results.

Get a plank or some other tool to increase your traction. In life terms this means taking a class or joining a support group or reading a book. It may mean asking for help which, if you've ever been stuck in a rut, can be embarrassing.

Call a tow truck. Hire a coach or get some counseling. In this day and age it is not a negative stigma to establish a relationship with a professional who can guide you and provide you with the life tools you need to change. Email me at the address below for information on a free coaching session.

Get a more powerful vehicle. Go back to school. Strengthen yourself physically. Eat better, sleep more. One of the things I learned after I'd taken Time Management and Stress Management classes was that I was able to handle more "things" in my life which kept me out of a rut.

V. How to stay out.

Map out the road ahead to avoid the ruts. If you have no life goals or plans you'll tend to get back into ruts easily. Read Barbara Sher's book "I Could Do Anything in Life, If I Just Knew What it Was".

Get a guide who can show you how to stay out of trouble. Ole Steve Irwin, the Croc Hunter, never seems to need a guide – but most of the rest of us do. Again, the key here is a relationship with a coach or counselor or support group who can help you stay honest.

Conclusion: if you still don't know how to get out of a rut after reading this, then write me with your circumstances. I'll try my best to give you an objective evaluation of your situation – though you may not like the answers!

Copyright 2008 Hal Warfield

	Hal Warfield is a speaker, teacher and coach. Write him at warfieldh@gmail.com. Or read additional self-development and business articles at http://www.introvert.cc and http://www.halwarfield.com.

Five Ways To Lighten Up

It's so easy to get so caught up in your to do list that you lose sight of what's really important. When that happens, you likely start to take life way too seriously, perhaps even letting minor things get the better of you. Are you walking around feeling like you are carrying a heavy load?

Try these ideas to lighten up:

Laugh more. Did you know that on average children laugh 146 times a day while adults only laugh 4 times? No wonder kids seem to have such a happy perspective! How often do you laugh during the course of the day? Look for the humorous side of things. When you get right down to it, life is a pretty comical adventure most of the time. If you find yourself saying, "One day I'll laugh about this," go ahead and laugh about it today. Decide that it's not about you. Taking everything personally is a sure way to stay serious. Here's a reality check most of the time whatever is happening is not about you. When you encounter someone else's frustration, anger or stress, pause for a moment and consider that it's not about you. It's more likely about something that is going on in that person's life that has nothing to do with you. So let it go. Find your happy dance. Let music and dance play a greater role in your life. Find your own personal happy dance and do it one a regular basis. Many people are too concerned about how they look to other people so they resign themselves to a inconspicuous toe tapping when they hear a beat that moves them. Go ahead and shake your booty even if it's only in the privacy of your own kitchen. Remember, "What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?" Embrace failure. Think back to the best life lessons you've learned. Chances are they were a result of things that went sideways. Mistakes are the best way to learn. So next time things didn't go the way you planned or you screwed up royally, take it as a learning opportunity, not as a reason to beat yourself up. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this to move myself forward from here?" Breathe. When you find yourself taking things a little too seriously, stop and take a few deep breaths. Using your breath is one way to elicit a relaxation response in your body. Deep breathing sends a signal to your body to release tension and pain. You can also use your breath to help visualize your stress easing. As you breathe in, imagine you are inhaling peace or calm. As you breathe out, imagine you are exhaling all of your tension. Laurel Vespi , certified life coach and chief executive guru of stone circle coaching, ignites businesses & individuals to new levels of CHANGE. works with clients internationally, providing unconventional yet practical tips that make the seemingly impossible... possible!

Five Ways To Keep Your Focus

If distracting yourself from important tasks has become a long standing habit, sometimes you just need to try substituting a new habit. Remember that managing distractions is all about being in choice choosing where you want to put your focus in any given moment.

Here are five ways to help keep your focus on the task at hand:

Categorize. All activities can be sorted into four categories: important and urgent (do it right now) important but not urgent (can wait but shouldn't) urgent but not important (driven by a time pressure, often someone else's) not important and not urgent (enough said) Most people get distracted by the last two types of activities. Before you undertake a task, ask yourself which category it falls into. Are enough of your important things being taken care of, or are you giving too much time to other stuff? Just begin. Sometimes you look for distractions because you're finding it difficult to get started doing something. Inertia can be challenge its easier to keep doing something else (watch tv) rather than start something new (take the dog for a walk). The way to overcome inertia is to just begin. Shove yourself into a new activity with a commitment to stick with it for only 15 minutes. Most times that's enough to get you focused. Watch for your favourite distraction. Everybody has their favourite way to kill time. Identify your preferred method of procrastination and then be on the lookout for it. When you're drawn to your favourite distraction, ask yourself whether there is something else that needs your attention instead. Be more accountable. When you are choosing to procrastinate, be more accountable to yourself and others. Say out loud: "I'm choosing to do X even though Y would serve me better." Practice meditation The goal of meditation is not, as some people think, to "empty your mind." Meditation helps you to quiet your mind so you can more easily hear your true inner voice. It trains you to notice distractions and let them go. That's a great skill to learn no matter whether you are meditating or trying to focus on a task. Laurel Vespi, certified life coach and chief executive guru of stone circle coaching, ignites businesses & individuals to new levels of CHANGE. works with clients internationally, providing unconventional yet practical tips that make the seemingly impossible... possible! Sign up for 's free ezine, inside the circle, and receive the bonus article "Five Steps to Finding Your Life Path." www.stonecirclecoaching.com

9 Easy Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid In Conversation

These days, it seems all manner of people are constantly putting their foot in their mouth. How often have we heard the President, a politician, a movie star or a celebrity say something truly stupid on TV or in an interview? There are some simple steps you can take to avoid looking stupid in conversation.

1. Your appearance speaks volumes about you. If you're in an outfit that's hopelessly out of date or doesn't look good at all, many people will not take you seriously. Wearing Velcro sneakers, brown socks, plaid shorts, and a striped shirt are not going to impress anyone. Remember, first impressions are lasting impressions. If people see you as an idiot right from the get-to, it'll be an uphill battle to convince them otherwise.

2. Study proper English. You want to learn proper diction, and use it. Don't use improper words like "ain't" or expressions like "Whazz up?" You might sound current and hip, but you're not going to sound smart.

3. Consider your audience. If you're in a social setting with adults, speak in full and proper sentences, and don't use profanity or slang. On the other hand, if you're with children and/or teenagers, using words that are too big for them to follow can also lead to them seeing you as stupid.

4. How you behave. Flopping across the host's couch at a party, chewing with your mouth open, burping, farting, and picking your nose are all things that will lower people's opinion of you. Remember, body language communicates as much as your words. So, sit up straight, use proper etiquette, and follow the Golden Rule; treat other people the way you want them to treat you.

5. Stay current on the events of the world. If you start going on and on about how Hillary Clinton will be a great President, people are going to see you as very stupid. As Hillary has dropped out of the race, that would show you as being completely out of touch. That is, unless you're going to talk about a future presidential race. If that is the case, then make that clear.

6. Be sure you brain is "engaged" before you put your mouth in motion. That is, stop and think before you say something. If you blurt out what a great actress you think Paris Hilton is, people will question not only your intelligence, but your sanity as well! Unless you're surrounded by fellow Paris fans, think about who you are talking to, and ask yourself if saying that is going to come across as smart.

7. Stay focused on the conversation. If you stop in the middle of a sentence and change the subject of what you are talking about to something completely unrelated, people are going to see you as scatter-brained. Pay attention to what you and others are saying, and keep your statements on the topic of conversation.

8. Don't be crude and vulgar. If you make sexist or racist jokes and/or statements, use profanity in every sentence, people are going to see you as a stupid jerk, and rightly so. None of these things are signs of intelligence.

9. Finally, don't be insulting. If you're having a debate about politics, the economy etc. and someone makes a good point, don't respond by insulting them. To be so petty that you have to win every argument through whatever means you can is going to make people see you as quite foolish and stupid.

When you're talking to people, a key to not coming across as stupid has more to do with simple common sense than anything else. Think about how you look, how you act, and what you say and how you say it. Look at other people, and ask if you see them as smart. If not, why not? And then look to avoid making the same mistakes they did.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: communication skills

See Yourself as You Want Others to See You

by Charli Pickett
http://www.charlipickett.com


Look the way you want to look today. Become the person you want to be now. You can choose to see yourself as you want others to see you. Just do it!

There is so much truth to the statement; you are what you think you are. Your thoughts are powerful weapons. They can become your greatest asset if you learn to control them and not let them control you. Your thoughts produce positive or negative energy. We all see ourselves in a certain way. For many people it is undesirable. It can produce low self-esteem. We need to reverse that principle. Learn to see yourself as you want others to see you!

The mirror controls the lives of multitudes of people. It can make or brake our day; in fact, sometimes our entire lives. It is only a piece of polished glass that forms images by reflecting light. Yet it seems our entire personality depends on what we think we see when we gaze into it.

So often we gauge our attractiveness by the world's standards. We browse countless magazines and newspapers. We view pictures of the rich and famous. We think they truly look like that. We fail to consider the miraculous technology software of today that can take off excess pounds, erase wrinkles, shrink waists, elongate legs, and remove any and every visible flaw. Basically it can add to or take away whatever the situation requires to create an image of perfection.

If we were to meet these same people in real life, they would be hard to recognize. Have you ever stood in a grocery line and caught a glimpse of a tabloid picture of the rich and famous without their makeup? If you have then you know what I mean. No wonder they wear huge glasses and hats! If they didn't their flawless image would evaporate before our very eyes.

We are no different. When we prepare ourselves for a special occasion we look totally different and most likely 100% better than usual. What if we had countless makeup artists, hair dressers, personal trainers, manicurists, etc. at our disposal? That 100% advantage could rise to twice as much as it was before.

Life is more than looking at our reflection and reacting to it. Life is what you make it. You can choose to see yourself as you want others to see you.

The greatest thing about your mind is that you have the power to change its direction. If the thoughts that live there cause you to be depressed or unhappy, or take you down a path you don't want to go; then evict those negative squatters! They have no rights. You own the house they live in!

When you make the decision to see yourself as others see you, your life will change immediately. You will feel young and happy again. Why, because you have taken control of your destiny. Your self-confidence will be contagious. People around you will take note of it.

They will begin to look at you differently, because you are looking at yourself differently. They will notice a twinkle in your eye that they haven't seen before. They will probably think that you have fallen in love! You have. You have learned to love yourself, and see yourself as you want others to see you.

Originally published on SearchWarp.com for Charli Pickett Tuesday, August 12, 2008

If You Are Money Mad, You Have at Least One of the Five Deadly Fears.

Many like money. Many even love it. However, some see it as sinful. It is this thinking that gets people into trouble, for they avoid it like the plague and see those who have a lot of it as evil, coming up with phrases like "Money doesn't grow on trees," "Save your money for a rainy day," and of course "Money is the root of all evil." A mindset of scarcity is inferior to one of abundance and has lead to the downfall of many. But this is not the focus of this article. The abundance / scarcity issue is an article in itself. I make this statement to show the reader that the issue is not that people who like or love money means they are bad.

Ultimately, there is nothing innately evil about money, and it is certainly not the root of all evil. However, there are those who fixate on it so much that it twists their heart to set money a priority over that of being moral or ethical. Even though there are people like this, this is an extreme. Nevertheless, even if you are moral and ethical, excessive focus on money can be problematic. Let me digress for a moment to help you better understand the main point of this article.

Fear Rules the Earth:

In nature, we see evidence of how, to a great degree, fear rules the earth. There are lesser and greater animals but most are hunter and prey. Fish prey upon worms and insects. Birds prey upon fish. Birds are preyed upon by higher life forms and so on all the way up to man. But even man can become prey to not only animals--if caught defenseless--but to other men, and even to disease and poverty (often equal killers that go hand in hand).

Going back to his beginnings, man has contended with man out of fear, the stronger groups prevailing by attacking first. But why attack? A major reason why countries that can prey on other countries is that they certainly have the power, the one-upmanship to, of course, gain materially and politically, but at the foundation of all conquest is something greater: fear.

For example, since the turn of the 20th century, America has manipulated and controlled countries throughout the world for profit and gain. From Teddy Roosevelt (aiding Panama's independence from Colombia to build the Suez Canal) to Woodrow Wilson in Latin America, all the way to Ronald Regan and the Bushes in the Middle East, foreign policy has been geared toward monetary gain more than anything else. Several Secretaries of state (Henry Kissinger being one) that they didn't care what happened in other countries as long as it didn't affect the U.S. economically. Countries have certainly gotten rich off of the colonizing and usurping another country's goods, but why? When is enough, enough? Consider the following.

When half the world's population makes $3 a day or less, when one is renting a car and apartment is doing better than 90% of the world, when the U.S. makes up 6% of the world's population but harbors more than 50% of its wealth, one may question our ulterior motive. Why is it that even though most in the U.S. live with greater comfort and safety than most in the world--by a considerable margin--do we continue to desire more and more? Because our national motive is tied into our individual motive--to a great degree it stems from the fear of lack. Fear.

But eventually the discovery occurs that one can never get enough of what one doesn't really need. Ask the thousands who have "made it" and at the peak of success found total emptiness.

So what is next?

Keep in mind that I am not criticizing political policy; this is not a political paper. I present these points to not only emphasize our fears but that they run deep.

But what are these deep seated fears?

The Five Fears:

They are fear of ill-health, death, poverty, old age, and even criticism.

Regarding our national policy of excessive need, it is merely a collective reflection of our most deep-seated, individual fears.

Shifting back to the individual so you the reader may better relate, many individuals--outside of any national agenda--attempt to use money to allay the above fears. Let me relate a couple vignettes to support.

A very rich man sat before his doctor who has just told him that he has inoperable cancer.

"But doctor," the man said, "I'm a very rich man. Find the cure. I'll pay you whatever you want!"

The doctor, of course, told him money would not help him.

There is another story in which a physician contracts cancer and states: "I can't get cancer. I'm a busy person with a lot to accomplish."

Whether a doctor or patient confronting an early demise, in most cases people face their truths unrealistically because of a life unexamined. These people never properly address their mortality or the reality of death, even the possibility of death at an early age. A disastrous mistake. If one does not accept realities and examine them in detail, that person is bound for great un-fulfillment and an incomplete life.

The Unexamined Life is Deadly:

Socrates spoke of the unexamined life and boldly stated that it is simply not worth living . . . at all.

But why such conviction? Consider that you may make gains in the material, monetary, and social rankings but your certain lack of personal and spiritual growth will be most evident later in life: deathbed regret. For it is here that the measure of a life lived well or not is examined. At one's death, few desire greater material gain, more money, or greater social status. The greatest concerns are "Have I loved well," and "Have I been loved." This point can be born out by the fact that most know more about or recognize the names of Christ, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and Mother Teresa than Rockefeller, Carnegie, Mellon and Vanderbilt. The former group being those who expressed ultimate love: love of mankind over and above self love.

However, the poor results of an unexamined life can come before one's demise. Here are a couple of examples from an article by psychotherapist, Robert Gerzon listed under "Resources" at his web site Gerson dot com.

"I see so many tragic examples of the effect of an unexamined life. I remember Melissa, a sensitive, attractive woman in her late forties who realized that a series of repetitive, doomed-from-the-beginning relationships had used up so many years of her life that it was now too late for her to realize her dream of a husband, home and family of her own. I recall Donald, a caring, hard-working man who ignored his wife and family for too many years and found himself depressed and living alone in an apartment by the time he came to see me."

There is nothing more tragic than living a life unexamined, but living a life examined improperly, or not learning from one's mistakes is close to being as horrific in its implications. Very little can compensate for time lost through such waste.

Money Madness:

Money Madness, the desire to achieve riches, especially in a guaranteed, brief period of time, is the dream of the truly fearful. A lack of examination of "hidden fears" will drive people to acquire riches in any way possible, riches that they believe--either consciously or subconsciously-- will allay all fears of ill-health, poverty, loss, death, even criticism.

Criticism may stand out as less significant, but don't we all desire to be looked up to and admired? It is a common failing and its lack creates fear for many. Consider that the number one fear most have is speaking in public--to do so requires considerable strength and self-examination. But this weakness is relatively evident if you know what to look for.

I know of many men who tell me great stories of their knowledge, accomplishments, and gain. And some control the floor, enjoying their alleged wit and humor at the expense of all who disagree with their self-analysis.

Interestingly enough, few women do this. My belief is that they do so out of a greater understanding and closeness to the purpose of life: to connect, support, nurture, and achieve familial success, and to emotionally comfort and support all they come in contact with.

Of course, men are generally tied in more tightly to the need for monetary success, therefore, more likely to fear its lack. This can be born out through statistics revealing more men commit suicide because of job loss than women.

The Bottom Line:

But bottom line, if we are first not aware of these fears, and constantly keep them unseen at our back, we are heading toward an eventual downfall. For if we do not examine our fears and address them, work on them, then when ill-health occurs, unemployment arrives, criticisms build, and old age and certainly death arrive, where will you be?

Will the fear consume you at these moments? Moments that will certainly come for all in some combination. Or will you stand strong, at the ready, peace in hand and understanding afoot. Or will the ugliness and horror of neglect of the need-to-be-examined drag you kicking and screaming into the bowels of despair?

After all, it is simply a matter of choice. But a choice to do so now may be the most important choice you've ever made in your life. For you, your family, friends, and all the hundreds, thousands, millions you can touch with your joy of a life examined and fully realized.

Peace to you and yours.




Jeff is a Self-Realization expert and can be found at SelfGrowth.com. He has written 100's of essays and articles; over 50 poems; and several books: At Amazon.com, you can find Black Body Radiation and the Ultraviolet Catastrophe, a novel to inspire young adults and the young at heart. For more inspiration, get his collection of poems, To Die at the Age of Man at Lulu dot com. Coming soon: Give and Grow Yourself Rich (July, 2008); Education is a Waste of Time, (late 2008); and a children's novella The Search for Adriana (late 2008). Currently, he teaches writing and owns Inner Projection, a self-improvement business.

Motivational Quotes: Napoleon Hill

Success works inside / out.

Are you morally sound? When you are on the big stage, eyes abound. Little goes unseen when you have reached the peak. If you move in secret combinations, you'll be found out. Your sins broadcast atop the mount.

A check for you: Where do your thoughts go when alone, with no one about? Moral character is defined in these most private of times.

Control breeds the contentment of success.

If you are angered by the following, you will fail.

"You're such a jerk, they named a dance after you!"

"You're so stupid, even "stupid" won't lend you its name."

"You're a bug in the blanket of your own sloth."

If you've ever been angered by a name, an epitaph, returning it to the sender with angered passion "opinion unknown," then you've accepted a judgment that you deny.

If none of it's true, then what's got into you?

Negative begets negative and breeds contempt of others and self:

In belittling, disqualifying, defacing another's character, you double the damage: the sender and receiver damaged with each hit of the target.

Thinking of the other before we fire strengthens our game.

But ultimately, wherein lies the answer, the solution to this "game"?

The woman.

To be a man requires being all the best a woman's got: nurturer, seeker of connections, an advocate, gentle yet firm, the heart of the family and all that life means.

Inaction is the breeder of boredom and waste:

Most action is better than no action at all. But action coming from an understanding of self and one's talents and purpose is better.

Listening to society, parents, even the self, one can be misinformed, for the answer lies within--a place of great neglect. With some it may be buried, almost beyond recognition. But the answer is there. It is there for all.

It may be buried because of poor thinking; mis-truths, lies of omission and commission washing over the mind for months / years and seen as truth. These "conventions," beliefs passed down by family, friends, society, are harbored as ultimate truth, but only lie within misconceptions passed on as dogma.

Real desires are not found outside but within, having a singular connection--the he or she to them. Here, with a connection to the subconscious, the intuitive, the divine, one will find his purpose, her purpose and shine.

But don't dull it with lack of passion.

If desire is lacking, one does not learn. If retention through interest is kept at bay, this is where one needs proper focus. Turn from what you've been told is "for you" to what you know, knowledge from within. For it is here and only here where one will find why she or he is alive.

Discover your purpose.

We all have at least one.

But if you're going to do just anything, and something is better than nothing, then resign yourself to doing what you've been told to do.

But let the warning begin: if that "something" is not your true, burning desire, then it is closer to nothing than you may have ever known.

Are you a giver or a taker?:

To get one must give.

An unknown? An impossibility in this moment of the self-served, express yourself age?

But this is only a moment. Serving of the self is a fashion, one that has come and gone before, brining many an age to an end. But to begin an age requires greater effort and energy, like a rocket breaking the earth's atmosphere to galactic flight.

It is here where any age begins in earnest, a giving to beget all giving.

Once giving begins, it is of much greater weight or import than getting. Getting begets little getting, for if the getter fixates on inert possessions it pulls him down. But if the getter lifts his gaze to those beyond, universal law begins and lets the getter give again and again. It's weight is light and enlivening.

Consider the child at Christmas. Little does she think of the giving in self-centered, tender years, until the giving begins in the biggest giving of all: the parental years of give, give, give, and little take.

So look to the giver for the secrets to the universe. They reside here and are more near and dear than you may have ever known. In the giving the giver is giving and oh, the wonder of wonders that is shown.

Bless you in all your giving.

Let the giving begin.

Own some of that which makes the giver the best of all known.

Character :

Character is to man what carbon is to steel.

Napoleon Hill

If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.

Napoleon Hill

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -- unless you let him.

Napoleon Hill

If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it, write it in the sand near the water's edge''

Napoleon Hill

Indecision is the seedling of fear.

Napoleon Hill

Action :

Action is the real measure of intelligence.

Napoleon Hill

Do not wait; the time will never be ''just right.'' Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.

Napoleon Hill

The world has the habit of making room for the man whose actions show that he knows where he is going.

Desire

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

Napoleon Hill

When your desires are strong enough you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve.

Napoleon Hill

Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.

Napoleon Hill

The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.

Napoleon Hill

Through some strange and powerful principle of ''mental chemistry'' which she has never divulged, nature wraps up in the impulse of strong desire, ''that something'' which recognizes no such word as ''impossible,'' and accepts no such reality as failure.

Napoleon Hill

Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true.

Napoleon Hill

Love What You Do; Do What You Love :

Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought.

Napoleon Hill

Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.

Napoleon Hill

Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work for which he is best suited.

Napoleon Hill

We begin to see, therefore, the importance of selecting our environment with the greatest of care, because environment is the mental feeding ground out of which the food that goes into our minds is extracted.

Napoleon Hill

If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.

Give All You've Got:

Napoleon Hill

It has always been my belief that a man should do his best, regardless of how much he receives for his services, or the number of people he may be serving or the class of people served.

Napoleon Hill

You can start right where you stand and apply the habit of going the extra mile by rendering more service and better service than you are now being paid for.

Napoleon Hill

It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project.

Napoleon Hill

The man who does more than he is paid for will soon be paid for more than he does.

Napoleon Hill

Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.

Napoleon Hill

No man is ever whipped until he quits in his own mind.

Napoleon Hill

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.

Napoleon Hill

Failure is nature's plan to prepare you for great responsibilities.

Napoleon Hill

Fears are nothing more than states of mind.

Napoleon Hill

You give before you get.

Napoleon Hill

There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.

Napoleon Hill

A goal is a dream with a deadline.

Napoleon Hill

Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle...

Napoleon Hill

Understand this law and you will then know, beyond room for the slightest doubt, that you are constantly punishing yourself for every wrong you commit and rewarding yourself for every act of constructive conduct in which you indulge.

Napoleon Hill

All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination. Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth.

Napoleon Hill





Jeff is a Self-Realization expert and can be found at SelfGrowth.com. He has written 100's of essays and articles; over 50 poems; and several books: At Amazon.com, you can find Black Body Radiation and the Ultraviolet Catastrophe, a novel to inspire young adults and the young at heart. For more inspiration, get his collection of poems, To Die at the Age of Man at Lulu dot com. Coming soon: Give and Grow Yourself Rich (July, 2008); Education is a Waste of Time, (late 2008); and a children's novella The Search for Adriana (late 2008). Currently, he teaches writing and owns Inner Projection, a self-improvement business.

Half a Glass Verses a Full Glass, Positive Verses Negative, How About Reality?

Ok before we begin there are many out there who will quote, recite, and provide many sources of hope, inspiration, encouragement and a positive approach. To that I say great, we truly need those types, especially in this day and age. However in my opinion they seem to miss the mark when people vent, complain, recite or state their problems, situations, experiences. You see that is the reality of their moment and in reality each and every day they get up, face their problems head on and try to move forward and in my opinion they are providing more real examples of hope, inspiration then those who are not undergoing their specific trials but give advice. Like "why don't you", or "have you tried" and then don't believe when you say you have.

Oh sure many have undergone the same types of situations and come through successfully and yes with a positive, never giving up attitude. Always looking at the bright side of things. Yes, they turned off my electricity but I'm still alive and well and I do have candles. I really don't need that TV or Cable now do I and they are right. Oh so what if I do not eat today, or my children, or my elderly mom, there are agencies out there that can help and all I need to do is find one. Yes and so what if I am being evicted and have no money for a place, it will work out, God will provide. Need I go on?

The sad fact is regardless of the circumstances a person finds themselves in they have to get up and face reality and try or just plain give up. In fact I more empathy towards those who give up now then ever in my life. I have come close many a day. So yes, many run from it and try to hide but it doesn't go away. No like the usurious credit card company who hounds you until death and then your loved ones over unsecured debt it continues well past your demise. A debt you wanted to pay back but they made unattainable. Yes and the poor power company who has no program because they have to worry about the interests of all their customers. Of course the bank that you have banked with for most of your life who "WAS" your friendly banker and now, finds you a leper, irresponsible, not Credit Worthy.

So one can talk about how you look at a glass, half full or half empty but face some of the things listed in the last paragraph and you have a half empty glass no matter how you cut the pie. Hope, well we all hope but that doesn't mean it will happen. People hope for cures from an illness, some get, some don't. Some pray for miracles, some get, some don't. In fact the odds are greater you won't. The ones who get may cry miracle, the ones who don't, well keep praying, there is a reason for your problem perhaps sin some will say? Oh really, I thought we are all sinners and fall short? Perhaps a lack of faith? Perhaps you didn't give or pray hard enough, or do what you were supposed to do, who knows. The facts are you didn't get and they don't know why either?

Oh and don't forget there are agencies to help. Yes our government, right? One word for that, fool. Yes and of course there are TV stars giving advice all the time but they can't resolve their own problems. How to love, how to date, how to succeed in business, yes, how to everything but they don't have your problems, your situation and what was available to them for help may not be for you. Yet they are swamped with people hoping, looking, searching for an answer.

A few years ago I wrote an award winning poem called "Unfortunately". Listen intently and you will hear that word often. In my opinion it describes this era we are living in and is the word of this century.

So, Half a Glass verses a full glass, positive verses negative, how about reality impacts us all. It is how we get up each and every day and cope. Cope with the exploiters, the phonies, the liars, the greedy, the professors, oh yes they are the best kind and of course our leaders who put us in this mess.

Last night on the news there was a supposedly educated man claiming to be a teacher. He was voting for Obama because he "felt" he would lean more toward the middle class and he was a poor teacher, not making much and he "hoped" he would do something about raising his pay. Oh well, my opinion of educated, lets leave it at that. I have worked in schools and know first hand, but the said fact is this man is looking at the positive with nothing to substantiate his belief. He is in effect hoping. I must say that he is taking action but is it the right action? Is he placing his hopes in the right thing? Does he know, has he investigated? By nature of his comments, no. Meanwhile he has to face "reality" and no one, no not one, has anything to offer about that. Of course he could check out what Obama has done or failed to do not what he professes.
So my friends, no job, no credit, no help, no nada, nothing, zero, zilch. Government give me a break, unless you are illegal go away. Churches, empty of cash by the second day of the month. People, well most average types all in the same stew, hanging on day to day and one little burp and then they know exactly what I am getting at. No, it is not until it hits home and then you know. The again we can't forget you always have Half a Glass verses a full glass, positive verses negative, however, not forget reality. It can be a real eye opener?

For the believer there can only be one thing "faith". For the believer they understand this is a sign they are believers. As Paul noted "My Grace is sufficient for you". That is what motivates the believer, that is all the positive thinking a believer needs. Yet, it also says, deal with reality.

Robert T. Melaccio Sr. 2008 Copyright ©2008 Robert Melaccio Sr.

Addressing Anger Management For Kids in Creative Ways

It can be easy to loose your patience when dealing with an especially unruly or angry child, but in doing so you are really just reinforcing the child's angry behavior. You can use some fun ways to get the child to see the excessive nature of their own anger, instead of reacting with anger.

Although in especially heated situations this may be a struggle, the faster you can get the child to release their anger, the quicker you can diffuse the situation and have an efficient conversation. Contrary to anger management for adults, anger management for kids is less restrictive. With Kids, it is possible to use more imaginative techniques.

First step: Point Out the Obvious

If your child is reacting in a ridiculously angry way, point it out calmly. You should not tease your child about it, but make them understand how silly it is to rave and rant. Pretend their words are blowing you over or make an exaggerated face of surprise in return. Make your message clear, but your reaction light hearted. Because kids don't have the same social experience as adults to pick up on small nuances, you don't need to be subtle in addressing anger management for kids. If their anger doesn't break down yours, you will be able to break down the walls the child has erected around their emotions.

Second step: Create Space

If the child is still not responding to your efforts even if you've reacted light-heartedly and calmly, there is no harm in expressing your inability to deal with the child in their angry state, and then just walking away. If the child runs screaming after you after using this technique, calmly remind he or she that you can only speak with them when they have calmed down, and do not react to them until their anger has subsided. You'll know that you have been effective in driving home your message if the child understands that they have to work past their anger in order to get your attention. If you are consistent in your message, the child will learn quickly how to cope with his or her own anger.

If you can remember how frustrating it felt to be a child and to want to be heard, you'll hold the key to anger management for kids. In the case of anger management for kids, it is less a symptom of underdevelopment, as it may be in adults, and more a lesson that has not yet been learned. The best teachers are not necessarily the strictest. When dealing with anger management for kids, remember that the best teachers are the ones who can see past the child's surface reaction to the little person inside who's begging for help.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathalie_Lafleur

Anger - The Greatest Motivator of Them All

When you experience the emotion of anger, you create one of the most extremely powerful energies that we humans have been given to work with.

Although powerful, the energy of anger isn't bad or good. It simply exists as energy. What you choose to do with it determines if it's bad or good. As with any energy, you can choose to use it in harmful ways or in beneficial ways.

Fire, for instance is an energy that we can create. Once created, some of it's beneficial uses may be to toast your marshmallows for your S'mores, heat your home, or cook your meals. The same energy can be used in harmful ways, such as in cases of malicious arson. It's simply energy, and what determines if it's good or bad, harmful or beneficial, is how we choose to use it.

The same is true of the energy of anger. Once created, it can be used in ways that are harmful to others or yourself, or it can be used to benefit all concerned.

An important fact about energy is that it's perpetual. Once created it cannot be destroyed. It can, however, be transformed. The transformation process occurs as the energy is used and whether it will transform into a beneficial or a harmful energy depends on the use chosen.

So, once you have created the energy of anger, you have choices about how you are going to use this energy.

You can stifle your anger, stuff it inside of you. But remember, the energy you've created is perpetual. It won't go away simply because you're keeping it inside of you. What it will do is lodge itself somewhere in your body and create disease. The common question, "What's eating you?" is indicative of the anger stored in the person in question and represents the fact that it's eating away at their internal parts. High blood pressure, ulcers, colitis, and other digestive diseases are common in people who keep their anger stuffed inside of themselves.

You can use your anger to create more anger by sharing it with others. When you give voice to your anger, such as telling everyone you know the story of what that so-and-so did to you, you share not only your words, you share your anger. This is not to say that talking about the incident is wrong. Talking with someone who can assist you in discovering a solution to the incident will help you transform the energy of anger into a beneficial energy of positive action. Using the energy of anger for simply complaining, however, grows the energy.

You can vent your anger with hard physical activity, such as chopping wood, running, or working out. This transforms the energy of anger to physical energy, which is beneficial energy.

You can choose to use the energy of anger to motivate you into creating a better situation. This is the highest purpose for this energy and is why we were given the emotion of anger. It is the greatest motivator of all. You have the opportunity to use this energy to create something better out of the situation that created it in the first place.

An example might be a woman who is experiencing difficulties at work with one of her co-workers who undermines her and belittles her. She can choose to use her anger as a motivation to look more closely at exactly what it is that she is getting angry about. As a result of this process, she may discover how she has been in victim stance and has been giving her power away to the co-worker and others. She might then choose to set personal boundaries that will garner her the respect she desires. As a result of transforming her anger into the highest form for which it was intended - as motivation - she will enjoy a higher quality of life.

Look deeply into a situation that angers you. How might you transform your anger energy into motivation so that you might discover ways to change the situation into one in which all would benefit? How can you use this energy for the highest and best purpose for all concerned?

Kathy Wilson helps people get their life unstuck using a multi-faceted approach. She and her clients utilize life coaching, spiritual consulting, NLP, vibrational healing, and teaching... whatever if in her client's highest and best interests. She's a Certified Professional Coach, spiritual teacher, Reiki master, vibrational healer, and author of An Inner Journey: Living Your Life Purpose. For information about her products, services, and classes, visit her websites: http://www.under-one-roof.net and http://www.aninnerjourney.com

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7 Tell-Tale Signs of a Chronic Anger Problem

An anger problem can be difficult and insidious to deal with. It creeps up on you and takes hold usually without notice. And it's tricky because the damage has already been done long before anyone realizes what's going on.

I know because I'm on intimate terms with prolonged anger. I lived most of my adult life with this unkind companion. But now I'm free from its chains. And I can offer you some solid, take-home advice on recognizing an anger problem.

One of the first steps to healing and living without anger is recognizing...and admitting that you have an anger problem.

Your anger problem didn't happen overnight. And it won't go away overnight, either. But you absolutely can do something about it and be free from its grips.

Here are some questions to ask yourself. And one important clue concerns consistency, or frequency. Do the following tend to exist in a chronic way. Is it the 'way you are'?

Be honest with yourself.

1. Is your anger response out of touch with the triggering event?

I'm not talking about being stressed and a little 'snappy' with others. We all have stressful days and sometimes aren't in the best mood. I'm talking about the kind of angry outburst over something that practically no other person would get upset about. The kind of thing that makes people drop their jaws with a puzzled expression on their face.

2. Do you feel angry when you think about certain past times, events, or significant people in your life?

Thinking about your childhood, younger years, family life when you were growing up, or those who were significant in your earlier life. Parents, siblings, relatives, friends, peers in school. Just thinking about it stirs your soul...you find yourself feeling angry or upset. Perhaps there isn't any particular thing you remember. Maybe there is...only you know.

3. Have you ever noticed that you always have this sense or feeling of anger?

There's something always there. Maybe you feel angry for absolutely no apparent reason. Or there's a subdued hint of anger that's always there. It's almost like a bear-trap that's set and just waiting to be sprung.

4. Do people 'walk on glass' around you?

I mean...everyone? People take overt measures to avoid upsetting you? Have you ever noticed it? Pay attention and answer honestly.

5. How many people have you alienated with your temper?

People don't seem to want to be with you. No one. Maybe you rationalize it and tell yourself you don't want to be around any of them. Maybe you do want to be around some of them. It can get lonely.

6. Have you ever hurt yourself, in any way, with your temper?

Can be anything. Business deals, dealing with anyone you don't know. You call customer service and have made things harder for yourself because you totally blew them out of the water. Have you done it more than once? Or...your raging temper has caused you to get a traffic violation because you did something in response to someone else. Have you hurt yourself more than once?

7. Has anyone ever told you that you have an anger problem? Have you heard it more than once and from different people?

If so...pay attention and start thinking about it.

Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed if you have chronic anger issues. If you do, it exists for definite reasons. And the reasons can be addressed and resolved. Living with chronic anger tends to rob you of certain things in life. And after all these years, I can tell you it's not worth it to remain angry. So do something about it and be happier in your life.

Ken Thompson, http://www.EscapeFromAnger.com is a survivor of living for over 20 years with chronic anger. He knows and understands from experience the issues and difficulties associated with anger. He also understands the difficulties involved with overcoming chronic anger. Ken successfully resolved the anger in his life through many years of self-study and personal effort. He offers a distillation of effective techniques designed to permanently remove chronic anger.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kenneth_Thompson

Emptying the Bucket of Angers That We Carry

Have you ever felt your anger boil over to the point that it spilled out in ways you wished it hadn't? Has your blood pressure ever risen when someone offended you and you could not respond? Have you ever clenched your teeth, biting back your words till your jaws ached or you got a headache?

This can easily happen when the bucket of anger we carry around with us gets full to overflowing. Some of us also have leaky anger buckets that allow resentments to drip out.

Prevention is often a better approach to anger than bandaging the wounds we suffer as people respond to our anger. Prevention is also better than having to offer salve to others who are bruised when our angers bend their noses the wrong way or sear their flesh.

The habits of burying angers begin in childhood, when we are unhappy with situations that we cannot change and are unable to avoid them. In childhood, it may be very helpful, therefore, to stuff these unpleasant feelings into our inner bucket. This lessens our suffering, and helps us keep from expressing some of our angers - which in many cases would just generate more unpleasantness for us.

These habits continue into our adult lives, even when we have much better resources to cope with situations. Burying our angers and other feelings may still be entirely appropriate in some situations, but often leads to accumulations of resentments that may eventually spill over with excess intensity when our bucket reaches the point of overflowing.

WHEE: Whole Health - Easily and Effectively is a super-fast and easy way to deal with angers. It works best when used preventively. By systematically emptying our bucket of issues that have left major contributions to the annoyance load we are carrying, we end up with a bucket that has space for something new that comes along and is stuffed into the bucket, with less likelihood that old angers will come spilling out in response to the new aggravations.

WHEE is a very simple technique, in which you tap on the right and left side of your body while reciting an affirmation. Despite its simplicity and ease of use, it can be profoundly effective, within minutes.

Molly had suffered verbal and physical abuse as a child, as both of her parents had quick tempers and her father was a heavy drinker. She had also been encouraged to hit anyone who "messed with her" at school. She was finding it difficult to deal with co-workers on her job, due to her quick temper. WHEE not only helped her release the residues of angers from childhood mistreatments, but also helped her let go of her irritation and rising angers when they were triggered at work.

A good thing about WHEE is that people can use it any time they need to de-fuse their angers. It can be used without anyone knowing they are practicing a de-stressing method.

Doug was a quick-tempered 8 year-old who was always arguing and fighting with his classmates. When seen initially for counseling, he was highly oppositional and denied he had problems with his temper. He was able to say, however, that Joey, another child in his class, made him particularly angry. I asked whether he felt any of that anger as he was describing Joey to me, and he responded with an emphatic "You better believe it. If he was here, I'd teach him a good lesson!"

I looked around the room in an exaggerated way, saying, "I don't see Joey anywhere in the room, Doug, but I think he's really got you going! He's really got you mad at him. He's got you so mad, that he's got you carrying a big bucketful of that anger inside you, right now, even though he isn't anywhere near here." I paused to let that sink in, and commented, "And I bet you don't know how to get rid of that Joey-anger you're carrying around with you." Doug was able to respond more positively from there, accepting my invitation to show him how not to let Joey get him upset and keep him angry, even when Doug was nowhere near Joey.

Children learn WHEE quickly because it is so simple, and often release their angers more rapidly than adults because children haven't stuffed their anger buckets as full as adults have.

The principles of WHEE are described on my website, where you can also find articles and other materials about this potent method.

I'm a wholistic psychiatric psychotherapist, with a passion for teaching self-healing, bodymind and personal spiritual awareness. I authored Healing Research, Volumes 1-3 and many articles on wholistic healing. I am editor of the International Journal of Healing and Caring http://www.ijhc.org a Founding Diplomate of the American Board of Holistic Medicine; and appear internationally on radio and TV.
See More by and about Daniel Benor, MD.

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Easy Tiger, Be Rational - Don't Get Your Knickers in a Twist

"It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this." Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

It's an interesting concept and one that I think is overlooked today, not only from a personal perspective but also from a professional one.

I used to work for a company that had 'rationality' as one of its core themes of employee attributes that needed to be aspired to. If you think about it, it's not a bad behavioral attribute to try and encourage in a firm as it builds stability and therefore long term credibility.

Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, one definition of the meaning of rational is: "agreeable to reason; reasonable; sensible"

What would happen to all our companies if all their employees behaved in irregular or absurd ways? Remember Barings Bank? Or Ratners perhaps? We don't invest in companies that we deem unstable, we don't buy their products; we simply don't trust them.

So this can also be applied to us as individuals in our ordinary everyday lives. If we behave in unreasonable ways then we send out a message that we can't be trusted either, we can't act in a responsible way so why 'do business' with us?

Being irrational lends itself to creating an unhappy and destabilized environment within our families and in our workplaces. Every action has a consequence so if we are in the presence of somebody who behaves without reason, we become uncomfortable and distressed ourselves.

The funny thing with irrationality is that it is a natural and human way to behave - in childhood.

We are a species that evolved over many millennia and developed a whole array of emotional responses to help us cope with our outside environment.

It would make perfect sense for a child to create random drama and excitement to gain attention from its mother, but it wouldn't make sense for an adult to do the same. It is a way of behaving that essentially concerns getting what I want regardless of those around me.

Let me explain further, think of a situation when you saw somebody behave without logic. How did it make you feel? Did you feel awkward or cringe?

It can actually make us feel embarrassed for the person exhibiting such traits or we can become irritated with them. Is this really an attitude that you want to advertise to others?

Think of the times when you've been an outsider or casual observer looking in on a situation. You may have been able to see several solutions to particular problems that those people were experiencing but for some reason that person was completely blind to them.

They continued to behave in a way that seems to have no logical point so in effect hinders getting the issue resolved; being irrational then only blurs the view to the solution.

When we see unsound and unreasonable behavior displaying itself, sometimes all we are witnessing is short-sightedness, selfishness and in some cases, avengement.

The person didn't 'get his or her toy' so he or she now displays infantile, counter-productive behavior in order to settle a score or something equally pointless.

Contribute to Overall Justice

Being rational creates a just society in general, how can we operate a fair and harmonious world if it is run by people who can only see what's in it for them? How could we allow self-centered individuals to get what they want regardless of the consequences to others? Our civilized community would just break down; we would be allowing injustice to prevail.

That's why we must strive to act in rational ways at all times, try to detach our emotions sometimes and think: What is the most logical step I could take in my next action or words?

The thing is, it's easy to descend into unreasonable behavior - it seems like the most straightforward way out so why not give it a go?

Well, next time you feel you are going to stress out and blurb out random and nutty verbal diarrhea, just count to ten.

You make much more rational decisions if you pause and calm down. When feeling relaxed and composed, have you ever read an email that you sent earlier in the heat of the moment and recoiled in horror at what you've written? Well, it's a bit like that, there will always be a 'later on' so best to get there with your dignity still intact.

You can also try and pretend you are having an outer-body experience and assess whether you would be embarrassed by your own actions. If the answer is yes then you know you're being a klutz; try to think instead: How would a calm and reasonable adult deal with this situation?

I'm quite sure the situation you're in that is distressing you is not as bad as you think anyway and contrary to what you might think, may be out of your control.

So, I think the best way to proceed if you're in a senseless mood is to try and alter your reaction to a particular circumstance. Perhaps it is the way you react to outside, uncontrollable conditions that is at the root of your problem.

Of course, this is easier said than done. You encounter a situation that you've subconsciously added to your instinctual nervous system that equates to fear so you flip out, flap around the place like a deranged penguin and generally make the problem much worse.

So it's going to take a little practice, just like improving your golf swing. You're going to have to consciously take small, repetitive steps to alter your actions. Just try to imagine water brushing off a duck's back next time you feel the storm coming over you.

What's the value of being rational? What's the cost of being irrational? These are two very good questions, I think the value is priceless; the cost catastrophic.

Everything you do affects somebody else, so please think sometimes before you act, it may save your integrity.

Anthony operates http://www.web-entrepreneur-solutions.com offering Web Entrepreneur Resources for E-Business Success.

He enjoys engaging with people to help them bring out their full potential in life.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anthony_Docherty

Anger Management Power Tips That Work!

In a stressful situation most people's anger tends to sky rocket. It is probably easier to become angry than to deal with the circumstances. It is very unfortunate because nothing can be solved by anger. When it goes away, the issue will still be present.

During difficult and stressful circumstances, there are ways to control one's anger. Most people can't see the other person's view when they are angry. Getting someone to listen to their side of the story can be a great relief. Outsiders may be able to look in and help you see the other side of the situation.

Sometimes a little time off will help clear your mind, giving you a better perspective. If you take yourself out of the situation it may give you time to think clearly. Having a chance to get away and meditate will aid a person in thinking of things with a new perspective.

Some individuals might encourage meditating and praying to help control anger. Good stress relief may be found if a person prays and meditates. By praying and meditating, one can look more clearly into the mind and soul to solve issues and also become soothed.

Next time when you get angry, take into consideration all of the little tips that will help you. Here are some advice: Enjoy playing or listening to music, do deep breathing, do more exercise and rest, have a sense of humor about things and take a walk in nature.

If you are a person who has a quick temper during times of stress, you will benefit from these anger management tips.

Visit http://www.angermanagementfactsheets.com now to find anything and everything you wanted to know about Anger Management Fact Sheets at this web site.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Harry_Lewis

Responsibility and Choice are the Most Important Concepts of Anger Management

One of the most important concepts to understand in anger management is around responsibility and choice. No-one tells you to shout, swear, throw things, scream, push them, hit them or be violent. It is in fact you who chooses to do these things ... and they all constitute abuse. If this is so, then there is little justification in saying excuses such as she made me do it or it was his fault. Nobody deserves to be abused by another. This can be turned around to read "I have the right to be safe and not be abused by anyone". This is a basic human right and every person has this right.

Most adult anger is about expectations and values not being met. We build up strong belief systems of how things should be or should not be and then expect others to behave in ways that we deem best. Expectations can be realistic (I expect you to be faithful to me in marriage) or unrealistic (I expect you to keep a perfect house all the time. I expect you to let me indulge in my addictions such as alcohol or shopping.) The shoulds are the irrational ways we make our self and others crazy by insisting that small, insubstantial things be our way.

Make a list of the things that often set off your anger (for example, running late for an appointment and not being able to find a car park, your teenager leaving dirty dishes in the sink or a co-worker blaming you for something you didn't do). If you know ahead of time what makes you angry, you may be able to avoid these things or do something different when they happen.

Every time you feel angry with another person, you can either express your feelings, which triggers a reaction in the other person, or not express your anger, which will then build up inside you until eventually you explode. You are in conflict with that person (holding onto grudges) and will remain so until you can resolve matters with them. If this is not done (i.e. resolution is not reached) it is likely that you will remain resentful or hostile towards them. This serves no-one and only keeps your anger alive. Often when it comes to expressing our anger to others, there is fear about how to express it in such a way that it is clean, healing and empowering for both ourselves and others.

Have a look at http://www.cureangermanagement.com for more information.

This author writes informative articles on various subjects. Learn how to manage your anger.

http://www.cureangermanagement.com

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3 Self-Sabotaging Landmines in Your Anger Management

Being human means we all tend to purposely overlook the 'less than glowing' parts of our behavior and character. Unfortunately for many of us, some of those aspects are the ones that need the most attention. And they require action before anything gets better. If you have an anger problem, the best way to begin addressing it is to increase your awareness as much as possible. And...

Learn to spot the various ways you can sabotage your efforts to manage your anger.
What follows are 3 important behaviors to watch out for:

First: You know a problem exists but don't take any action.

This can happen for various reasons. Some people know they have a problem but don't know where to begin or how to resolve it. If that's you...

Then the easiest action is to simply start educating yourself. You can find online information, or you can go to your public library. And as I said before, start increasing your awareness about your behavior. Most importantly, try to identify your particular anger triggers.

You may already have a good idea about your triggers. But try to be as comprehensive as possible. This will only help you later. Then...

Ask yourself if you prefer the help of a counseling professional. This could mean a one-on-one situation or group setting. It's important to answer this because your success will have a greater chance if you're comfortable.

The opposite of that situation are those who realize a problem exists yet consciously refuse to deal with it. There can be many reasons...

* Resistance to change that can result from fear of change.
* An over-inflated ego often prevents seeking help for any personal problem.
* Procrastination is rampant among us humans, too. And again, fear plays its part with procrastination.

Second: You don't think you have an anger problem.

Most of us don't like admitting our own faults. But successfully conquering your anger issues will involve living in reality and not trying to fool anyone. One of your biggest obstacles will be your very own ego. So be as objective about yourself as you can. You'll eventually discover it to be a powerful step to overcoming your anger issues.

Managing your anger can be relatively easy or as difficult as you want. It boils down to how much you desire to be free from it and the effort you put into it.

Start paying attention to feedback from others around you. Give yourself an honest evaluation about yourself.

Third: You believe your anger is justified... and you hold onto it.

This situation may be quite understandable depending upon your personal history and circumstances. But it really only goes so far...

Eventually your anger is only hurting you or the people around you. That's the point when something needs to be done. Positive action is required before your life, and the lives of those around you, will get better.

Realize that desiring revenge or forever wanting personal justice to happen is a function of your ego. I stress that some anger-causing actions are horrendous, and these kinds of feelings are completely understandable. Justice for crimes committed is separate from this discussion. I'm referring to the personal kind of justice, or 'getting back' at someone.

Justice isn't always a possibility, or legally needed. Often times the actions that caused your anger were not intentionally negative. Parents and other prominent people who influenced you were living in ignorance. And they had no idea how they were really affecting you. I know this from personal experience, but I also believe it's very common.

So the choice is yours, as always. You can continue satisfying your ego, or ask yourself what you desire the most.

Do you want to continue living with anger? Do you want to continue suffering the many consequences that chronic anger causes? Or do you want to take action to end it? While thinking about this... be sure to think of others in your life who are affected.

If you choose action to end your anger... then focus on your goal, get help, and do not ever give up.

Ken Thompson, http://www.EscapeFromAnger.com, is a survivor of living for over 20 years with chronic anger. He knows and understands from experience the issues and difficulties associated with anger. He also understands the difficulties involved with overcoming chronic anger. Ken successfully resolved the anger in his life through many years of self-study and personal effort. He offers a distillation of effective techniques designed to permanently remove chronic anger.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kenneth_Thompson

My Only Love Sprung From My Only Hate

A friend of mine, who has a deep grasp of human psychology, is fond of quoting a line from Shakespeare. Juliet says "My only love sprung from my only hate". Now what on earth does this mean? And what is my friend trying to illustrate by quoting this?

The other day I was walking the beach with a friend. The waves that day were about 3 feet tall and the roiling, back to back breakers were coming onto shore in fairly rapid succession. As we walked at waters edge I found a small stick, a 2 x 3, about 15" long with some white paint on it. It apparently had washed up on shore in the waves. I mindlessly picked it up and threw it into a breaker. To my surprise the wave brought the stick back to me and nearly planted it at my feet. I exclaimed "Oh, its like a boomerang. See! Toss it in and it comes back to you!". My friend was amused. So I threw it again even as we continued walking. Lo and behold, once again the wave returned the stick and planted in on the shore nearly in front of me. I jokingly said "good puppy!". By this time my friends eyes were intently watching this unfold.

By now, we had walked to a section of the beach were the wave action had caused the sand to drop about 24" making a miniature, straight drop little cliff. The crashing waves would hit this area and fly straight up into the air, hardly able to breach the broken sand line and advance any further. I said to my friend, "this would be a very tough place to have the stick return" But once again I threw the stick into the breaking waves and watched it disappear into the foamy white and disappear. The wave came in and hit the "cliff" and rose straight up into the air. I watched to see if I could see the stick anywhere but I could not when just then, almost magically, the stick appeared not more than 10 feet from me, sitting firmly on the top of the little cliff as if waiting for me to pick up.

Now my friend was incredulous, and it showed on her face. She was challenged to make this happen for herself. So before I could get to the stick she rushed over, picked it up and with all determination tossed it into the wave in a manner that dared it to return to her as it had for me. But it was not to be. Instead the stick bobbed and weaved in the frothy waves but would not come back to the shore. The frustration on her face said "you worked for him, why wouldn't you work for me, damn it!!" She immediately gave up and walked away from the scene as I laughed at her silly little ego. But just as she had her back to the scene the stick reappeared in the water near the shore, close enough to wade in ankle deep to get it. I pointed that out to her and she did wade in to get it but then handed it to me. I was really amused at her quiet frustration yet thought it very silly to be so challenged and to be disappointed by so small a thing.

Just then I said I was going to toss the stick in to the water way beyond the breakers so it could go off into uncharted places. My friend said "No!, Don't, don't toss it away" as she protectively, almost motherly, took it from me and actually held it to her heart. I could see that she suddenly had an attachment to the stick she was moments before frustrated at. She actually felt a bit of emotional pain at the idea of me tossing the stick away. She said "no, you can't just throw it away". I said "Are you going to keep it? Isn't that a silly thing to do?". She agreed it was but was under a spell of protectiveness anyway. After walking a bit she saw a small pile of other wood pieces grouped together on the beach. She decided to toss the stick into this pile saying "there, now it won't be lonely". I said "do you know how silly you are? Can you see what just happened here? You got irritated by the stick not behaving as you wanted it to and suddenly you grew a bizarre affection for it. Can you see how silly that is".

She did see how silly it was, and laughed at her own silliness too. I went on to explain exactly what had just occurred, for what had occurred was that a kind of love, a kind of affection for a "thing" that was not there a moment before, had grown immediately out of her frustrated with it. Out of her hate grew her new love. It was a perfect opportunity to show her how it is that love, the lower, egotistical, emotional feeling of attraction for a person, place or thing, that we all have is almost always born out of hate, frustration, irritation or the like with the object of that "love" . I also explained that this kind of love isn't real love at all, but rather an inferior kind that tends to dominate and poison almost every relationship on earth because people always end up hating what they need, but need what they hate. The kind of love, that is really a guilt based "love", with its inherent need to possess comes out of first hating. Real love never possesses but sets free and does not hold.

But the neat part of all this was that my friend was able to immediately see the principle. She was immediately able to see how many of her relationships were based on being first frustrated with someone, or something. That is why I like her friendship. She has an affection for the truth, even at the expense of her own ego.

Rick Hurst
http://rickhur.blogspot.com

The Psychology of Anger

On how we can use constructive forms of anger against destructive forms of anger to develop better emotional health...

Anger is a powerful emotion; it can create havoc in our personal and social relationships and can even sometimes lead to dangerous consequences. So why do we get angry? Is anger constructive in any way or purely destructive? Is it possible to control anger by understanding its deeper psychological causes? Maybe with a proper analysis of an emotion, we can control the emotion instead of allowing the emotion to control us.

Many things or events, of great importance or even of least importance can make us angry. If the computer suddenly crashes when you are working on something really important, you can get angry. Similarly if your business partner works against your wishes, that too gets you angry. In fact sometimes the emotions in us become so important that the external event itself that caused the anger somehow recede to the background. Yet anger can be both constructive and destructive.

Anger, best defined as a feeling of displeasure, irritation or hostility can have different dimensions with mild to violent responses. Anger management is an important issue as stress, anxiety, irritation are persistent in modern life. Anger being primarily manifested negatively and being directed against someone, it is a social response and have social consequences. Psychological theories consider anger as a response to pain. Thus when we feel a sort of pain or irritation or go through unpleasant feelings along with a realization of a potential threat, we tend to get angry. Thus in anger there are two factors - a feeling of pain or displeasure, followed by a feeling of threat. When a partner says or does something unpleasant, we get angry because we feel pain and we also feel that the situation might threaten or jeopardize the partnership. The need for certain uniformity in life is strong in all of us and whenever we sense a disruption in this 'structure of life' that we like to hold on to, we become aggressive and angry. A tool is 'supposed' to work, when it doesn't we get angry. A relationship is 'supposed' to work, when it doesn't we get angry. So anger is largely a reaction against disruption of our preconceptions/presuppositions, we crave stability and security in life.

Eastern Philosophy considers anger as a result of ignorance or human folly that is a consequence of worldly attachment. The argument is if we can let go of attachment towards the object of anger, we will fail to become angry. However the fact remains that attachment is a basic truth of life and whenever there is attachment to anything, there is also expectation and breaking down of this expectation leads to anger. Psychoanalysis would consider anger as a form of gratification of the aggressive impulses, so when there is frustration of sexual gratification, anger can result. In fact anger in the form of sadism has been extensively explained by psychoanalysts as a form of sexual gratification through aggression. Aggression could also be related to feelings of narcissism and ego and as manifestation of the threat to our sense of identity. Considering the physiology of emotions, William James has provided a theory and an explanation of what is regarded as the flight-fight response or the body's automatic response to face or flee from real or perceived threats. However subtle phenomenological differences in different emotions are not always accounted for as we still do not have a complete theory for the science of consciousness that largely controls emotions. James' theory suggests that any emotion is a response to physiological changes in the body. There are controversies to this theory although the physiological changes in the body during anger are well documented. During anger, the amygdala of the brain sends out signals, body muscles become tense, neurotransmitters and hormones are released in the brain that quickly lead to a state of arousal. Amygdala of the brain being responsible for perception of threats and dangers, hypothalamus of the brain responsible for perception of pain or irritation are activated during anger and we react without the mediation of the cortical or reasoning part of the brain. Strong emotions like anger can be as 'blind' as strong emotions of love as both of these represent a state of arousal when our brains are not in a normal chemical or physiological condition, so to speak.

Responses or reactions to anger are all that we are concerned about as we may not be able to control the emotion per se, but can control its manifestations. People have different levels of reactions to stimuli and some people react quickly and with intensity to certain things or events whereas some others may react slowly and may not show the same intensity. Some people break glasses or burn objects when angry; some others engage in verbal or physical abuse towards the object of anger or towards a substitute object whereas some others control and suffer depression with aggression turned inwards. Although some amount of display of anger is psychologically healthy as it can prevent feelings of hurt, depression or feelings of self-destruction, overreaction towards an object of anger can be destructive to both the individual who is angry and the object of anger. Anger being reciprocal and contagious can actually create anger in the object of anger as well and so the object reacts aggressively or becomes passive with no reaction despite strong feelings of displeasure and resentment.

This leads us to the discussion on anger as a constructive and destructive process and to anger management. Anger management is tapping out the constructive potential of anger. Aggressive impulses are necessary, they help us to stay competitive and become successful by striving and working hard. Without inner aggression, we will never achieve anything in life aggression provides the zeal and life force so anger in measured forms is always good and have a constructive effect. Despite this we have to learn how and where to draw the line considering the situation and the person we are angry with.

We should understand exactly at which point a fine line separates the constructive and the destructive phase of anger. Anger management is locating this line by using reason even during the most irritated state of mind. How do we do this? This is only possible by holding back feelings of threat or danger by developing a form of inner boldness. Thus here constructive aggressive impulses can be used against destructive ones. How do we use anger against anger to stop anger? Sounds like a pun. But in a situation when we stop feeling threatened by being brave, we will stop being angry.

Consider a person extremely angry with his colleagues because he feels threatened that he will lose his job or self respect. In this situation the best he can do is to feel less threatened by being confident that no matter what happens, he will not lose his job. This inner confidence, a sort of subtle aggression, is the key to anger management. Thus the two parts of anger - pain and threat cause reactions in us, we cannot do much about pain but we can do something about feelings of threat. We can ignore or overcome the threat with greater confidence. The traditional relaxation techniques or meditation or even talks of wisdom to control anger may not always work during an aroused state because our reasoning part of the brain fails to work when we are angry. But relaxation will naturally result if we don't feel threatened, if we cut out the threat part of aggression and exercise our self-confidence. So I would suggest that anger management is not about trying to force relaxation of the mind during an aroused state which is next to impossible because our body does not permit that, but rather to develop the constructive aspects of aggression within us so that we are aggressive or bold enough to confront all threats without getting tensed or irritated. Only subtle aggression can control violent aggression. Anger management is thus about developing the subtle deep rooted constructive forms of aggression, the inner confidence to overcome all destructive aspects of the emotion so that we can lead emotionally healthy and successful lives.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Saberi_Roy

How to Deal With Anger - Here Are 4 Quick Tips

You're not just disappointed, you're angry. Angry because getting home in rush hour traffic took longer than usual. Angry because people are driving too slow and you're trying to hurry home.

Angry because one of your children spilled juice on the carpet that you just had professionally steam cleaned two weeks ago. Angry because you got passed over for that promotion that you thought was in the bag for you.

Anger is a very powerful feeling. Just the emotion on a person's face when they're in that frame of mind can scare someone. If you don't learn how to deal with anger properly, it can take its toll on your health, relationships, employment and anything else that is affected by it.

There are different ways that this potentially explosive emotion can be channeled into something positive:

* Being calm and stabilized -- When your emotions start to rise up, you need to bring them down immediately. Being calm and stabilizing your emotions can help clear your head.

You can do that by listening to some soft music, such as jazz. Or find something to do that doesn't involve a lot of noise, such as reading a book or a magazine. Also, doing mediation or yoga can help you calm your mind.

* Being active -- Incorporating some type of physical activity, whether it's exercise or just moving around, can help relieve the steam that is built up inside of you. Getting worked up does nothing for you but initiate health problems, such as high blood pressure.

Exercising can help you to release the stress and frustration you'll feeling. This is usually where the fruit of anger begins. Getting involved in swimming, running or walking can set you back on the path of good health.

* Step Away -- If you are involved in a confrontation with someone, it's easy to get agitated and stirred up. In this case, learning how to deal with anger means to step away from the situation.

Staying in it or around it does nothing but make matters worse, including inflaming your anger even more. In this case, you can also engage in physical activity (see the previous tip) or count to 10 backwards and release it.

* Laughing -- This is definitely a good way to release your anger. Think of something that happened that's amusing. Or find a comedy show or movie to watch. Comedy can be funny and you get to laugh right along with it. If you like jokes, get a joke book and read from it.
These are just a few of the solutions you can use in learning how to deal with your anger. People won't be afraid to come around you. You won't have to concern yourself with always being out of work because you can't control your emotions.

If you deal with it now, you can have a happy and healthy life for years to come.

For more useful strategies on how to deal with anger and keep your cool, be sure to visit http://www.AngerDefense.com today.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Quincy_Barrett

Smart Women Keep Their Inner Door Open

by Joy Chudacoff

Our family went to the Santa Barbara Zoo this past weekend. I love this zoo because it’s not overwhelming (you can see everything in about 2 hours) and Santa Barbara is a favorite spot of mine to relax. When we entered the exotic birds area, a sign on the door read, “For the safety of our birds, please close the inner door before opening the outer door.” That really made me chuckle. I thought, “Well, I don’t think the women will have too much trouble remembering this!”

What do I mean? Many women keep their inner door closed tight with a double-bolt lock on it and have misplaced the key to open it. What inner door am I referring to? The one that leads to our inner thoughts…our inner life. Yes, you do have an inner life. It’s that voice of intuition and deeper knowing that we all experience. It speaks almost in a whisper so that we can barley hear it. Why? Because the outer door…our outer life, is wide open. It lets everything in; the noise, traffic, emails, cell phones, iPods, co-workers, never-ending meetings, grocery shopping, homework, community volunteer work. Have I covered it all? How could you possibly have the time to locate the key and then get the door open on your inner life when the outer life demands so much?

In my work with women, this is something that is supported from beginning to end. You see, the answers about what you want in your life are all within you. In fact, I would bet they are locked behind that inner door. It’s essential to have support in helping you to create the time and space to locate the key, unlock the door and step inside to take an inventory of what’s there.

How do I know this? Well, I have some experience with this. There was a time in my life that if I had read this article, I would not have had any idea what this meant. I had no idea that I had any other life other than the one that I was living. It was busy, hurried, passionless, and one long to-do list of things that did not really provide much meaning in my daily life, let alone my future. While working with my own coach and creating the time and space to explore what was missing for me, I began to understand exactly who I am and better yet, where I wanted to go next.

Isn’t it amazing that all the answers are within us and yet we question so many things every day? It’s about getting in touch with your inner voice that’s behind the inner door. Allowing the inner voice to be heard, and not drowned out by the outer “noise”.

How about you? Do you have any idea where the key is to your inner door? Do you visit your inner life on a regular basis? If you do, bravo! It means that you are in touch with where you are going in your life, dreams and goals. I shudder to think what might have happened if I had not taken the time and allowed myself to hear my inner voice. I can tell you that it has made all the difference in my life. I am living a life full of passion and energy for myself, my family and work that I love.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

How Smart Women Pack for Their Journey

by Joy Chudacoff

This summer, I traveled with my family for our annual vacation to Telluride, Colorado. An interesting event occurred en route that made me pause and reflect on what we really, truly need. We had arrived at the Denver airport and were transferring from a jet to a small commuter plane. It seated perhaps fifteen people. With all the changes in the rules about carry-on baggage now, one can never be too sure what is or isn’t allowed. On this particular flight, we were informed that we were limited to carrying on one item.

One item. Now this was disconcerting. I had thee items: a backpack bursting at the seams with necessities for my children, my purse, and my laptop. Let’s take a look for a moment. The backpack contained food, water, diapers, wipes, books, and other comfort items for my children. My purse contained money, credit cards, and my driver’s license – in essence, everything I need to prove who I am. And my laptop which contains all my work files and is, not inconsequentially, my link to the outside world.

It was a tough decision. And I wasn’t the only one who faced a dilemma. Other passengers were also having a very difficult time deciding what to take and what to stow away in that little space under the plane. People became angry, anxious, and argumentative. The flight proved punishing for so many people in so many ways for so many different reasons. Experiencing this and watching the angst going on around me, I began to think about all of the things I carry around and why I carry them . . . not just for this flight, but through my entire life.

In Richard Leider’s book, Repacking Your Bags, he states that “developing one’s own vision of the good life is a matter of constant choice. Repacking your bags is not essentially about reaching the destination, but rather about the learning journey.”

In my Women’s Learning Circles, we spend quality time reflecting on our passion, purpose, and plans. Part of this process involves looking at what we have in our lives that we need to keep, what we need to let go of, and what we should add to the mix moving forward. As women move into what Carl Jung called “the afternoon of life” we realize that some of the things that have served us along the way no longer make sense for the next chapter of our lives.

So here are the questions I’ve been pondering since that flight – questions that I’m now using with my coaching clients: On this journey called life, what are you carrying with you? Have you taken an inventory lately? What are you carrying that you really don’t need? What have you been carrying around for far too long, perhaps out of habit and nothing more? Do all the things you carry make you happy and add value to your life? Are there things that you’re not carrying that perhaps you should consider adding to your life suitcase? What would you carry if you were living a life filled with meaning and purpose?

By the way, that day on the commuter plane, I chose to take the backpack. I figured I could always buy another laptop and that I didn’t need to have my driver’s license on my person to know who I am. And I knew I wanted to be sure that my children had food, water, and their little comforts just in case we were delayed. In the past, I was a woman who over-packed for everything. In the afternoon of my life I am becoming very clear about what I need to take on my journey.

Fall is a great time to curl up on the sofa, in your favorite chair, or under a tree where the leaves are changing color – to read, reflect, learn, and grow.

Smart Women are Possibility Thinkers

by Joy Chudacoff

One morning not long ago, I was driving to the Inn at Playa del Rey for one of my Women’s Success Circles. It was a beautiful day in Pacific Palisades---blue skies, sun shining—glorious. What a great day this was going to be! My mind turned to possibilities for the day. As I made my way down to the beach and through Santa Monica, the weather began to change. It became quite foggy. I could barely see the car in front of me. I had to turn my headlights on. I noticed that my thinking had shifted a bit. Some of the possibility thinking had diminished. The “possibilities for the day” began to fade. Why? What had changed?

Two things: The climate and my attitude. It occurred to me that the outcome of my day, and really on a larger scale my life, is directly related to my environment and my own attitude. When I was a young girl, my grandfather, “Pop” as we used to call him, would say, “No matter where you go, there you are.” I was reminded of this as I began to navigate the foggy streets to arrive at my Women’s Success Circle. In essence, you are in charge of how your day, and how your life will unfold. This can be good news for some and bad news for others. If you are a positive woman who always sees the glass is half full, you are smiling and nodding right now. If you are a woman who finds herself sometimes seeing the glass as half-empty and unable to find the “possibilities for the day,” you may not agree just yet.

It can be unsettling to think that we truly are in charge of how our day or life unfolds. Your attitude can determine the outcome in many life situations. Are some situations out of our control? You bet! For example, some health issues can be out of our control. However, I can tell you from personal experience that one’s attitude toward health is key. My husband, Greg, had both of his kidneys removed 10 years ago and it came with many complications. There were weeks and months of challenges, pain, and many moments of uncertainty. All the while, he kept his positive attitude about the outcome. And I was determined to stay in “possibility thinking”; to keep strategizing on what could be done to improve the situation. The key was to stay positive and in “possibility thinking”. Greg would say that thoughts determined outcome, and would work hard to visualize a positive result. Sure enough, almost one year later, he had a successful transplant.

How about you? Are you excited about the possibilities for your day? Do you visualize a positive outcome? As I entered the parking lot at the Inn at Playa del Rey, I began to smile. The fog had lifted slightly and the sun was trying to peek through. The “possibilities for the day” returned. I was greeted warmly by the team of women who work at the Inn, and the Circle was a complete success, filled with reflections and plans for the future. We spent the morning focused on where we are right now, and looked at what “possibilities” are available to us as we move forward creating a life filled with passion, purpose, and meaning.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

Choose Happiness First

by Roy E. Klienwachter

Have you ever wished for or wanted something because it would make you happy? When you got it, were you happy and for how long? If what you did or received didn't bring you the happiness you anticipated - why?

I first met him in grade school; Brian always talked about being married and having two children. Throughout the years it was what he most talked about; how happy he was going to be. When he finished school, got a job, married someone he loved and had children; he would be the happiest person in the world.

School was not easy for Brian, he was small in stature and the bullies loved to pick on him. The more difficult school became for him, the more he would drift into his imagination and envision his new life after graduation. If it was going to happen it would have to be later as he was just not popular with the girls in school or anyone else. Withdrawn and unnoticed he struggled through 12 years of hell, just surviving, and except for me; friendless.

As his friend I wanted him to be happy and I also looked to his new found happiness when he finished school. What a wonderful life he was going to have with his family and friends. We talked about how his wife would look and how she would love him and take care of him.
His children filled with love for Dad would be totally devoted to him and they would follow him around like puppies. Brian had big dreams and absolute faith that life would be easier and filled with happiness once he had what he wanted. Twelve years of struggle finally ended on his graduation. He refused to attend the ceremonies and gave the thumb up gesture to the whole idea.

Brian quickly found a job and made a down payment on his first car. This was a symbol for him as the very first step in finding his long overdue happiness. Just over three weeks into his job, he met a girl and started dating, and six weeks later he was married. Ten months later Brian proudly introduced his son to the world and 18 months later a daughter.

Brian's whirlwind tour had netted him everything that he wanted except for one thing. A few years into his marriage Brian was not happy, in fact he was never so miserable in his life. Nothing he did or had brought him the happiness he so desperately wanted. His relationships with his wife, children and even his car were not happy ones.

Psychologists would look back to his childhood and suggest many things contributed to his present situation. On the surface I would agree with them. However, I look to the root causes and break things down to their simplest denominator.

On the surface his family relations may not have been very positive. His relationships with his siblings could have contributed to his negative attitude. His small frame and frail appearance may have disempowered him. But these are all physical attributes of a life he manifested that was not filled with happiness. From the beginning the reality of all these things was that he did not choose happiness first.


Brian disempowered himself to be happy by attaching happiness to things and events that were going to happen in the future. Brian had become quite comfortable with not being happy. So in every moment of his young life he decided he would be happy later. Happiness for him was outside of himself; it was something that would come as a package later.

The truth is we are not victims of circumstances; we create them. It is not correct to judge Brian's life as being wasted. In fact his life was lived exactly the way he chose. At some level of consciousness he chose not to be happy now, but to set a goal to be happy in the future. Judgment ignores the destiny of the spirit; what the spirit has chosen to experience; what we observe of one's life is always appropriate in the moment. Brian's struggle in the beginning could well lead him to total bliss in the future or not. I don't know what it is that Brian wanted to experience in the physical life, and apparently he didn't know either. Every step we make leads to another, sometimes the step seems to lead away from our destiny, but this is not possible. All steps lead to a final destination.

Happiness doesn't come to us; we are happy by nature. In the reverse order we think of happiness first then seek to express or demonstrate it physically; this is not the way Brian chose. It still does not mean that what he chose would not bring him happiness if we are to look at the greater picture. It may well mean a side step to happiness that will have greater meaning and expression.

The reason Brian didn't experience his happiness in his choices was because he had no power to make it happen. He gave away his power to people and events and it was not delivered. There are no things, events or people in the world who can "make" us happy. Our emotions are triggered by our perspective; how we see ourselves in relationship to others and our environment. A happy event for one can be just the opposite for another. When we leave our emotions to the whims of others we will always be disappointed.

Brian could have been happy at any point in his life if he had chosen to be. With the thought of happiness as his current desire, he would have drawn people, places and things to him that would reflect his happiness. What he chose was a different way to demonstrate his journey to the awareness of happiness and his own power to manifest it.

All of us have heard someone say "If only I had this or that" I would be happy. Think back a bit; were they happy and if so, for how long? After the initial happiness, did they go into depression, disappointment, anger or some other emotion; most likely. Somewhere along the way after the event, they chose to feel some other way. Happiness attached to a thing or event does not last if it was not preceded by the will to be happy. If the awareness of happy is attached to an object or event, then once you have it you have reached the end of your journey. Even if the happiness remains for some time, when the object or event is removed the attached happiness will disappear as well. The awareness may remain in memory for a period until it is forgotten. To last, the awareness of happy would have to precede the event and the physical manifestation would be the symbol of that happiness.

Can Brian ever be happy; of course, it's simply about choice? Can he be happy with his present circumstances; of course? He can change his thoughts about what he has or is experiencing and turn his life around. He can also leave behind what he already has, if it does not reflect his true feelings. It certainly may not be easy, or maybe it would be if he chose happy first, and then decided to act on it. It may very well come easy for him to start a new life that reflects his current feelings of happiness.

Happiness, sounds, looks, feels, smells, and tastes different to everyone. No two people identify with it the same way. The real truth is that happiness is expressed through these senses differently not the other way around. The senses react to the desire to be happy.

There are a couple of things to remember here. Happiness precedes the physical manifestation of it. You are always happy by nature and you choose to experience it or any other emotion in your own unique way. Thought, word, and deed are the steps to creating your experience. Never depend on anyone or anything to bring you happiness - it isn't going to happen.

Know this; you are the creator of all things you will experience. No person or god has any control over you. You are a victim only if it is what you wish to experience at some level of your consciousness.

In all things you create, be aware of what it is you "really" desire as very few people actually know what they want. Also, if happy is all that you are, you will never experience it. Happy is only relative to unhappiness, you must know both in order to experience either one. Choose the one you most wish to experience.

Going Extra the Mile With Your Job To Get Promoted

by Julia

Managers and company executives are the ones to rely on when it comes to training and assessing their subordinates if they qualify for a specific position in the company. So be on the prowl for internal hiring openings that are a promotion to you of your existing job. Always be visible to let your superiors know that you are interested in any opportunities to rise up your career ladder in the organization.

In some cases, managers or supervisors may choose a few of their subordinates to undergo trainings and seminars. The selection process depends on the qualifications and experience of specific employees, thus, making sure that the selection process will yield a candidate well suited for the job. If you are one of the candidates for a
training that is only offered for senior or qualified employees, then you can be sure that a promotion may be near at hand.

Many companies around the country employ hundreds or thousands of people each without actually realizing that the work force they employ are made up of highly skilled individuals and not professionals. In today's world of computers, sophisticated machines, and home office trends, the concept of professionalism is slowly being siphoned off to oblivion.

Professionalism is simply putting effectiveness and efficiency in one's job. By acting professionally on your job, you are able to maximize your company's time and resources to perform the functions you are assigned to do. The following are the common tendencies that you should be able to imbibe if you are to act professionally to deserve promotion

Optimum Productivity

Professionalism in the workplace enables you to greatly maximize your productivity by enabling you to focus all your energies to the work at hand. Your attitude towards work should go beyond the amount that is being paid to you; and in some cases, acting professionally even transcends the kind of working environment in which you perform your tasks.

Constructive Collaboration

Acting professionally enables you to see the big picture. You realize that your job, no matter how far below the corporate hierarchy it seems, is a part of the whole system that enables your company in its entirety to do business everyday. True professionals value teamwork or constructive collaboration because it is the means of making all the other parts of the corporate operation function as intended.

Active Responsiveness

Professionalism requires active responsiveness. In fact, some call it the foundation of professionalism. Responsiveness and initiative are twins. When you are responsive, you deliver results above and beyond the call of duty. Without compromising your specialized function or peddling undue influence, being actively responsive makes you see and cut through the red tape in your company's bureaucracy.

Useful Innovation

Acting professionally enables you to nurture ideas and turn them into actual game plan. As you alter inadequate procedures with resultant ones, your company is able to streamline its operation.

Professionalism in your work place not only makes your job or your company function like a well-oiled machine, given the traits mentioned, it also shows your manager that you are an asset to the company and hence deserve to be promoted.

Sometimes, a straight forward approach will do. Like in some companies where supervisors or managers can hand pick the person who fits the qualification even without undergoing training.

There is no specific timing for a promotion nowadays, so always be on the look-out. If you think you qualify for internal hiring, you should talk to your boss and let them know you are interested.

Astrology is mystical

by Chandrradevi

As the time has elapsed, there has been more and more pressure to cope up with the adverse situation that might arrive in every ones life. There are a lot of incidents in a man’s life that would look like a bolt from blue. So, when it is unexpected, it ought to cause more problems. That is one of the reason as the majority of people are shifting to the idea of knowing as what are the circumstance which are about to happen? Well, the idea may seem weird but Astrology is certainly helping people out.

Astrology refers to the methods that are devised by the ancient people, although, there have been some changes that are the contribution of modern world, but still, basics are in tact. If you call it a science of stars, you won’t be off the target at all. It basically describes the relationship of the stars with you and an effect is derived by the position of these stars at the time of your birth. That’s the whole concept behind astrology, but it certainly is not as easy as it looks in these words. There are a lot more complications that are to be considered to give exact readings. Astrology has really been working wonders and in the modern world like today, it has not lost its shine.

The fact is that a proficient astrologer is quite capable of mentioning the times when you would be supposed to go through the bad times and it’s quite obvious that if you know that, you would be in a better position to cope with the situation. However, the burning question is that if it really is possible to change your future with the help of astrology? Well, the answer is simple, astrology can’t avoid those circumstances and in some cases can’t actually point out the circumstances, however, it can mention the time period where you have to be cautious. Also, there are a lot of other uses as well, that one can consider.

For instance, you can easily get yourself benefited from astrological readings pertaining to relationship and marriage. You can easily get some of the reading predicting about the date of your wedding. For some people who are not really well aware of the dimensions that astrology has, it can really be so exciting to find out that they can get closer to their future.

However, an important fact is that you must go to an astrologer who would have some of the best knowledge an experience about this art. You must also understand that it is not something that everyone can learn, it requires some of the grueling efforts and you will also have to devote a lot of your time to get the art of astrology. Most of the people take years to understand the creation of a birth chart. However, as people are more curious to know about their future, there are more shamed astrologers who can really harm you, both mentally and financially, so you better stay away from them.

Holistic Health Author and Beauty Expert, Believes Blemish Free Skin Available For Everyone!

by Chris Gibson

These are exciting times for all of us concerned with healthy living, the beauty of our skin, and looking our absolute best! While at first that may seem a bit of a lopsided view, when all we hear about is how unhealthy our living environments have become, it is a very true statement.

Ten years ago, no one in the medical community was making the connection between a healthy lifestyle and healthy skin. In fact, even today in the case of acne, rosecea, and eczema, there are some dermatologist who still tell their clients that the foods they eat, skin care routines they use, and lack of physical activity have nothing to do with how blemish free a person’s skin may be.

They continue to say these things to their patients even though medical research has proven there is a direct connection between all of these things and the health and beauty of the skin. So, then why do I think these are exciting times for skin care?

Regardless of the old school of thoughts still out there, medical science is finding out what we have known for years... that our basic everyday choices in how we live our lives, put into our bodies, and on our skin... creates what we see.

This means more people will at least hear that there are alternatives to the less effective chemically based products widely available, which not only work better to make you look good... but are also great for your skin.

The cosmetics and beauty industry is a multi-billion dollar industry with new products appearing on shelves on a daily basis. Some products are able to help in the way they are intended, while most simply do not work.

This is because everyone's skin chemistry and lifestyles are unique. More and more people are turning to more natural and skin friendly routines, and finding just how big a difference it really makes in helping them achieve blemish free skin.

So, its time to feel good and look great by learning what to do for your skin in general, to put it in the best shape possible. My key recommendations to help everyone get started are as follows:

1.) Move away from sulfate based soaps and washes. There are harsh on your skin and will tend to cause more problems. Use glycerin and sorbitol based soaps and washes instead. There are several on the market and can be found almost everywhere.

2.) Stay away from common acne control products that contain salicylic acids and peroxides. Don't waste your money on Proactiv, SkinID, Acne Free, or other over-the-counters, as they include all the same ingredients that have been around since the early 1980’s. They are the main reason why most people still have skin problems, the products do more damage than good when used long-term. Go for natural products such as Ginalé Skin Care, made from effective and gentle ingredients. Chemically free products are better for any skin type.

3.) Try to move away from sugar and processed foods... get plenty of fiber. There is a direct correlation to a slow digestive process and adult onset of acne. Poor diet doesn't do much to keep you young on the outside or inside!

With just a few changes and by taking control of your skin care routine away from the mass marketed chemically based products, everyone can enjoy the beautiful, blemish free skin they were meant to have - for life!

BASIC PRINCIPLES OF HERMETIC ASTROLOGY

by Russ Durocher

A correctly calculated chart of the sky for the date, time and location of a person’s birth is the focal point of scientific astrology. This chart maps the life pattern of the person for whom it is calculated.

A Birth Chart (which is also known as a horoscope -- NOT to be confused with Sun Sign “horoscopes” found on line or in the daily newspapers) can be calculated for things other than people. There are Birth Charts of countries, cities and the weather, for answering questions and for selecting the best time to begin new projects. All charts, of whatever nature, are calculated using precise astronomical data. In other words, they are scientifically based.

There is much beauty and profound wisdom in classical scientific astrology -- beauty and wisdom based in the universal symbolism understood by the best minds throughout history.

It is not necessary to “believe” in astrology for it to work out in your life. In fact, the people who ignore it completely are the ones most likely to unconsciously follow its intrinsic patterns. Astrology does not predict exact or inevitable events -- rather it indicates the kind and quantity of energy you have in your personal bank account. Progressions tell you when your investment in past experiences is mature, and when it will be paid in full, and with interest. If you are aware of it, and have prepared to make wise use of this abundant energy, then you’re ahead of the game. If not, you may spend it in bad health, a destructive lifestyle, unwise business ventures, bad relationships, or take it out on family and friends. It makes good sense to know the odds of your life if you want to play the “game of life” successfully.

All Birth Charts are divided into segments called “Houses” and each astrological house indicates a particular department of your life experience. The First house maps yourself, your personality and the condition of your physical body (and its possible illnesses). The Second House is your possessions and your financial potentials. The Third House is your daily thinking pattern, your basic education and your relationship to relatives. The Fourth House indicates your home, family life and your relationship with your father. The Fifth House is love affairs, issues involving children, gambling and investing. The Sixth House is your working environment and relations with coworkers or employees. The Seventh House is marriage and other partnerships. The Eighth House your partner’s money (in either marriage or business), tax matters, money received from investments, or inheritances and the deeper issues of life. The Ninth House is activities involving travel, religion and higher education. The Tenth House is your career, your employment potential, your activities in the business world, your reputation and the relationship with your mother. The Eleventh House is your friends and associates, your activities involving clubs, etc. and your hopes, wishes and your attitude about your future. The Twelfth House indicates the disappointments you may experience, private matters and deeply personal concerns you don’t often discuss, as well as any time you may spend in hospitals or other places of confinement.

Since a human being (or an event) can begin at any time of the day or night, it is important to determine just what portion of the sky occupies each of the twelve Houses at the time of the birth (of the person or the event).

For this purpose astrology has devised a measuring gauge known as the ecliptic, which is the apparent path of the sun around the earth (actually the path of the earth around the sun). The ecliptic is a broad band around the earth known as the zodiac and through which the sun, moon and planets weave a pattern unique to the particular moment of birth. There are 360 degrees in this zodiacal circle, divided into 12 signs of 30 degrees each. The 12 signs are: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. Signs are categorized by element and quality. i.e. fire signs, air signs, earth signs and water signs; active signs, stubborn signs and adaptable signs. ALL 12 SIGNS APPEAR SOMEWHERE IN EACH PERSON’S BIRTH CHART. Some signs are more strongly emphasized than others in a manner unique to the particular individual. Just what signs are emphasized, to what degree and in what way, are important factors discussed in any astrological reading.

The planets indicate the active psychological urges in the unconscious mental and emotional make-up of the individual. For astrological purposes, the sun and the moon are considered “planets” even though we know that the sun is a star and the moon is a satellite of the earth. Each of the planets appear in one of the 12 signs and this is determined by the exact time and place of birth.

The sun is your life energy and vitality, your sense of importance and the way in which you are in charge of your life. The moon is your mental attitude, your feelings about home and family and every day activities. Mercury is your mind, intellectual interests, and your ability to speak, write and express yourself. Venus is your emotions, your social life and artistic and cultural things. Mars is your nerve, courage and ability to take the initiative. Jupiter is your ability to be optimistic and also your wealth producing potential. Saturn shows how capable you are of working hard, shouldering responsibility and willingness to make the needed sacrifices to get ahead in life. Uranus is your sense of individual freedom. Neptune is your imagination and your potential psychic ability. Pluto is your willingness and ability to cooperate with others (or its lack) and the cooperation you are likely to receive from them in return.

The planets in each Birth Chart interact with each other in a pattern based on specific mathematical measurements known as aspects. Aspects indicate how one psychological urge is linked to another psychological urge in the particular individual’s unique make-up. The aspects indicate connections between the various areas of life experience (shown by the Houses previously mentioned) which bring into your life particular experiences and events related to those specific areas of life.

The job of the Hermetic Astrologer is to give you very specific and detailed advice that will enable you to get the most from your personal astrological pattern, with the aim of helping you to be happier, more productive and more authentically spiritual than otherwise would be the case.

Bare Transparent Lingerie and More

by Fredrik Roaldset

When you want to look sexy, you'll find that one of the first things that you think about is lingerie. Maybe there is someone special that you want to show off some cute panties to, or maybe you just want a sexy secret to wear underneath your clothes at work! In any case, you'll find that getting some lingerie, whether it is devilishly sheer or demurely lacy is something that you should think about. When you are wearing lingerie, you'll find that there are plenty of reasons to stop and feel a little smug, so think about the best lingerie for you.When you think about getting yourself some lingerie, remember that there are no expectations. Some people feel that when they are wearing lingerie that they need to act or behave in a certain way, but that is certainly not true. You'll find that with a little bit of work, you'll be able to realize that when you are wearing lingerie, you are still you, just wearing some wonderfully fancy underwear. Once you have this in mind, you'll find that nothing is easier than strutting out to get some lovely underthings.When you are looking at bare transparent lingerie, you'll find that you are feeling quite bold! There are many different times of bare transparent lingerie, so take some time to think about what you are looking to get. You'll find that rather than going for the "in your face" bluntness of a thong that you will be able to find panties that have sheer panels that will simply knock your socks off. Remember that when it comes to looking sexy that you should always look for bare transparent lingerie and more! Take some time to really consider your options.If you are thinking about bare transparent lingerie, don't forget to look at your bra set. You'll find that some bras are a perfect representation of bare transparent lingerie and more than that besides. There are bras which are designed to show a hint of flesh here and there, and there are others which are prefect for simply baring all! Remember that when you are looking for bare transparent lingerie that you should think about the whole effect; with the right underwear & lingerie, you can look like you're wearing less than nothing!Take some time to really think about what you are looking for when it comes to bare transparent lingerie. You'll find that with just a little bit of time, you'll have an underwear drawer that can make you feel wonderful naughty whenever you please and it will be stocked with silks, bare transparent lingerie and more!

Living It Up In Beautiful Lingerie

by Fredrik Roaldset

When you think about it, life is too short to feel boring or dumpy and that is the way that far too many people feel about their underwear! If you have been looking for a change for a little while now, you'll find that one thing that you might want to look at is how you feel about what you are wearing underneath your clothes. Are you in a position where you want to think about enjoying yourself a little more, or is there someone who you are looking for who you are looking to tempt into a little bit of fun? You'll find that provocative underwear can go a long way towards getting the job done and leaving you with a big smile on your face.When you are looking to buy lingerie, remember to get something that really suits you. If there is something that fits you, but you really don't feel that it is your style, put it back and wait until you find something that is. For instance, if you are someone who really loves bright colors and isn't happy unless you are the center of attention, you might really prefer scarlet and emerald over baby blue or soft pink! Take some time to match up the colors and the styles that you are really going to enjoy!When you are looking for the best, take a look at the french made lingerie out there. French made lingerie is some of the best in the world when it comes handiwork and provocation, and you'll find that wearing this under your work clothes or for that special someone can be really wonderful. Think about how some really lovely french made underwear can make you feel, and you'll find that there are plenty of reasons why you might want to look into buying foreign!If you are looking to go really wild, take a look at lingerie high heels. When you think about lingerie high heels will quickly come to mind, so think about topping off (or perhaps bottoming off) your lingerie; high heels are a great way to do this. Take some time to really think about what you can do between matching pumps and a great lingerie outfit. You'll find that this is a great picture to make, and that you will feel your confidence soar, whether you are an expert at wearing spike heels or you are more happy with a single inch of lift!When you are hoping to really switch things up a little bit, think about french made lingerie and consider all of the fun options that might be open to you!

Taking a Walk On the Wild Side With Lingerie

by Fredrik Roaldset

Whether you are looking to feel great about yourself or you are looking to move forward and really make your intentions clear when it comes to what you want out of your relationship, you'll find that you might have an interest in moving forward and letting your underwear do the talking. When you are thinking about underwear, you are thinking about a very intimate thing, and you might find that with just a little bit of work and a little bit of time, you'll be able to say it all just with what you are wearing. Take the time to look at your lingerie and think about how you are going to be going forward.If you are looking to get underwear that makes you feel wonderful sexy, take some time to think about what you want from it. What impression are you trying to make? If you want to be more meek and demure, you'll find that there are plenty of different options that will allow you to stop and really look your Victorian best! On the other hand, take some time to think about how you want to get the fact that you are feeling aggressive and self confident across. What is going to make you feel on top, in charge and totally happy to be there?When you are looking at wild lingerie, think about what is going to frame your personality the best. Just because you are a little shy doesn't mean that you still can't get wild. You'll find that wild lingerie is the eye of the beholder and that all you need to know is that you need to look happy wearing it. Stop and consider what you are going to look for when it comes to wild lingerie that is really going to enhance your personality and show you off to the best advantage. For some people, wild lingerie is the decorum and tight lacing of a corset, while for others, it's a g string and nothing else!For people who are looking at the step between lingerie and totally naked, why not think about clear lingerie? Clear lingerie can refer to lingerie that is barely there, or it can refer to lingerie that is wonderfully sheer, using lace or fishnet to show off everything that you have while still keeping you from being totally naked. You'll find that with just a little bit of work that you'll be able to stop and really consider what you want out of your clear underwear, so think about what you are looking to get across and what you want to make sure that everyone sees!Looking for the perfect wild lingerie for you is a great way to feel confident and totally in charge of yourself. This is something that you should think about, and you'll find yourself feeling quite smug when you do!

Secret #134 Face the Fear Factor

One reason we don't take control of our life and time is fear. I mean, if we really take control of our life and time—and live our lives instead of letting life live us—then we start to imagine how such a change could effect everything and everyone around us. That's where the fear—often unconscious and unspoken--sets in.

Think about it.


If we dare to jump off the rollercoaster of time insanity by saying NO to everything that is GOOD but not God's BEST for us...

• we fear what people will think—especially our friends and relatives.
  
• we fear leaving the old life of hurry to embrace a new life of priorities and a sane pace--even though we like the thought of priorities and pace.
  
• we fear being different than everyone else in this hurried and harried culture.
  
• we fear that others will interpret our life of clear priorities and sane pace as laziness—or that we're not important.
  
• we fear... you fill in the rest of the sentence.

But what of this fear?

A University of Michigan study about fear shows:

• 60 percent of our fears are totally unwarranted--they never come to pass.
  
• 20 percent of our fears are focused on our past--which is completely out of our control.
  
• 10 percent of our fears are based on things so petty that they make no difference in our lives.
  
• Of the remaining 10 percent, only 4-5 percent could be considered justifiable.

Message? There's a 95 percent chance that your fears will never come to pass.

Why, then, would you let fear keep you from taking control of your life and time?

There are 366 "fear nots" in the Bible--one for every day of year--including leap year.

Hmmm. I wonder if God is trying to tell us something? You think?

Inspiring and Profound Words to Encourage Leaders Who Wish to Make Their Life Count For God

These profound and penetrating quotations and comments from experienced men who knew what they were saying are worth taking time to read consider and contemplate. It was Martin Luther who voiced these words, "If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the Word of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Him. Where the battle rages there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battle front besides, is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point."

If you don't plan to live the Christian life totally committed to knowing your God and to walking in obedience to Him, then don't begin. This is what Christianity is all about. It is a change of citizenship, a change of governments, a change of allegiance. If you have no intention of letting Christ rule your life, then forget Christianity; it's not for you. Wow, that is strong and piercing!

Our murmuring is the devil's music. Is that true? It certainly sounds like it at times!

Preach abroad! It is the cooping yourselves up in rooms that has dampened the work of God, which never was and never will be carried out to any purpose without going into the highways and hedges and compelling men and women to come in.

"No sort of defense is needed for preaching outdoors, but it would take a very strong argument to prove that a man who has never preached beyond the walls of his meetinghouse has done his duty." It is good to read this having preached outdoors!

"A defense is required for services within buildings rather than for worship outside of them," said William Booth of the Salvation Army. Another challenge which almost takes one's breath away.

"The true man of God is heartsick, grieved at the worldliness of the Church: grieved at the toleration of sin in the Church, grieved at the prayerlessness in the Church. He is disturbed that the corporate prayer of the Church no longer pulls down the strongholds of the devil." said Leonard Ravenhill, a most inspiring and motivating leader.

One hundred religious persons knit into a unity by careful organization do no constitute a church any more than eleven dead men make a football team. The first requisite is life, always.

It is God's way to let ministers try all their strength first, and then He Himself comes and subdues the hearts they cannot. How many of us have found to be true through what we have experienced? But nations as well as individual men can find this to be so very true.

A man full of hope will be full of action. Jesus Christ was forever acting and ministering and travelling. Jesus was positive and mobile.

"We have the truth and we need not be afraid to say so" are words which come from the lips of Bishop J.C. Ryle. That can give any preacher and Bible teacher courage and inspiration.

"Finney preached, and sometimes the whole congregation would get up and leave! That's good preaching," commented Leonard Ravenhill. There are times when people are deeply convicted of their sin by the Holy Spirit, rather than 'Repent' they arise and run off as fast as they can and as far as possible.

Sandy Shaw

Sandy Shaw is Pastor of Nairn Christian Fellowship, Chaplain at Inverness Prison, and Nairn Academy, and serves on The Children's Panel in Scotland, and has travelled extensively over these past years teaching, speaking, in America, Canada, South Africa, Australia, making 12 visits to Israel conducting Tours and Pilgrimages, and most recently in Uganda and Kenya, ministering at Pastors and Leaders Seminars, in the poor areas surrounding Kampala, Nairobi, Mombasa and Kisumu.

He broadcasts regularly on WSHO radio out of New Orleans, and writes a weekly commentary at http://www.studylight.org entitled "Word from Scotland" on various biblical themes, as well as a weekly newspaper column.

His M.A. and B.D. degrees are from The University of Edinburgh, and he continues to run and exercise regularly to maintain a level of physical fitness.

Sandy Shaw
sandyshaw63@yahoo.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sandy_Shaw

How To Be A More Successful Manager

How To Be A More Successful Manager

Would you like to be more successful manager? Of course you would. I mean, who wouldn't?

Well listen up, because I'm going to tell you what it takes.

Successful management requires:

* learning how to assert yourself

* listening to others

* resolving conflict

* delivering the right work at the right time of the highest quality

* managing expectations so no-one is disappointed

* building and sustaining relationships

* raising your profile with the people who matter most

* understanding customers demands (and how to exceed them)

* maximizing the abilities of your staff and making them so doggone productive you'll be absolutely astonished

Over the last 20 years I have successfully worked for and managed many blue-chip companies. I am regarded as the 'Manager who is always striving for improvement.' I truly believe (and have evidence) that everyone can improve their management success, career and brand.

Over the years, I've had the time of my life and the career of my dreams and you can too. I've had so many promotions, I've lost count.

Over the past 5 years I have quadrupled my income. Let me repeat that - quadrupled!!! All because I know what "successful and effective management' and leadership" means.

With the extra income I earned I have:

* paid off my debts including my mortgage

* purchased several properties

* given myself more financial security by saving more

* taken several holidays every year with my family

* upgraded my cars and my lifestyle

I can show you how to do the same. If what I've said so far has struck a positive chord within you, I urge you to visit my website and read the rest of my message.

You'll be glad you did!

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Leadership - Tackling the Top Leadership Challenges

As a leader you face many challenges. There are however some top challenges that you need to address to achieve success. So what are they and what can you do about them?

Challenge 1: Human resources management

Attracting, retaining and managing talent is one of the biggest challenges you face as a leader. The best people are becoming more conscious of the choices that they make when deciding which organisation to join. They want to be sure that the organisations they work with take their development seriously and have a structured approach to developing and growing people. Take the time to look at how effectively you and your organisation are when it comes to recruiting, retaining and managing your best talent.

Challenge 2: Change resistance

Change in business is inevitable. Even if you have had a period of reasonable stability, it won't be long before you need to take some action to move your business forward or stay competitive. Change can only be accomplished through others and yet people are often resistant to change. As a leader it is important that you recognise that resistance is part of the cycle of making change. You need to allow the time and space for people to come to terms with the change and then support them to make the change.

Challenge 3: Short term focus

In organisations there is a tendency to focus on the short term. Leaders are expected to deliver results at rapid speeds and if they don't they can find themselves relieved of their role. While it might be tempting to focus on short term, quick wins, the outstanding leaders are those who created long term sustained success. As a leader, commit to long term success and develop a compelling strategy to achieve that long term sustained success.

Challenge 4: Finding good managers

You might have the best team of leaders around but unless you also have good managers you will struggle to get results. Managers are the key bridge between the strategy, action and results. They are the people who make things happen on the ground on a day to day basis. As a leader you need to find and develop your managers so that they deliver the performance levels that you need.

Challenge 5: Surviving the downturns

The economy and market place will not always be thriving and there will be downturns from time to time. As a leader you need to put in place plans so that you can survive and continue to prosper during downturns in the economy. This includes making sure that you are creating some reserves, that you have a portfolio of different offerings and having a structured and systematic approach to risk management.

Bottom line - Being a leader is demanding and success is never guaranteed. So what challenges do you need to address to thrive as a leader in your organisation?

Duncan Brodie of Goals and Achievements (G&A) works with individuals, teams and organisations to develop their management and leadership capability.

With 25 years business experience in a range of sectors, he understands first hand the real challenges of managing and leading in the demanding business world.

Sign up for his free e-course and newsletter at http://www.goalsandachievements.co.uk/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Duncan_Brodie

Leadership - How to Become a Better Decision Maker

As a leader you need to take decisions. Why? Because decisions lead to action and action leads to results. As a leader you are judged on not just what you do but the results that you achieve. Results bring rewards which act as a motivator to go to the next step and achieve. So how can you become a better decision maker and achieve more success?

Have A Clear Purpose

As a leader, what's your purpose? It might be to maximise the amount you earn in the early part of your career so that you can retire early and spend time on a hobby or interest that you love. It might be to help others who are starting out on their career to fulfil their potential and take up a leadership role similar to what you are doing. Take the time to get clear on your purpose and you will discover that taking decisions becomes easier. The reason for this is that you will have clarity to assist you in taking decisions.

Recognise That Fear Is Natural

People often put off decisions because they worry what will happen if they take a decision. If you don't take a decision nothing will happen immediately but what you have done is relinquished control. On the other hand if you take a decision something will happen. It might not be what you expected but the decision to act will result in an outcome. We all have fears and this is natural. Recognise this and go ahead and push through the uncertainty and take decisions if you want to get results.

Look At Decisions From A Different Perspective

Perspectives are simply a way of looking at a decision in different ways. When we are faced with a decision, our natural tendency might be to look at it in terms of what might go wrong or all of the obstacles or blockages that we might have to overcome. We might become de-motivated and disillusioned before we even take a decision. On the other hand, imagine how differently we might feel if we looked at the decision in terms of opportunities. If for example, we looked at the rewards, the learning, the innovation and creativity we would probably be more likely to take a decision.

See Mistakes As A Learning Opportunity

Even the most successful people have made decisions that have not worked out. Chances are that they have had more decisions that did not work out than those that did, but those that worked out were hugely successful. To avoid procrastinating when it comes to decisions, commit to learning from those decisions that work out and those that don't work out as you anticipated.

Avoid Perfectionism

How often do you hear people saying that they are waiting for x, y and z to be in place before they can take a decision? Chances are they are waiting for everything to be perfect before they take a decision. Trouble is things will never be perfect so a decision is never taken. Make a choice to commit to taking a decision even if everything is not in place, learn as you go and refine.

Bottom line - Decision making is such a vital part of leadership. So what are areas do you need to address to become a better decision maker?

Duncan Brodie of Goals and Achievements (G&A) works with individuals, teams and organisations to develop their management and leadership capability.

With 25 years business experience in a range of sectors, he understands first hand the real challenges of managing and leading in the demanding business world.

You can learn more about Duncan, Goals and Achievements services and products and sign up for his free e-course and newsletter at http://www.goalsandachievements.co.uk/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Duncan_Brodie

Going Global, Leader - Nu Leadership Series

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Mohandas Gandhi

Do leaders really understand the global customer? Do we really understand the attributes of an international community? Clearly, if 21st century organizations want to survive, they must be able to answer those questions. Large organizations are continuing to grow their business globally so that they can gain more customers and increase their profits. When these companies go global, many of them are creating multi-talented, cross cultural teams. Unfortunately, this is no easy task.

Drucker, a management guru, argued leaders must understand the needs of customers while optimizing the efficiency of the whole supply chain. Therefore, leaders cannot afford to neglect any component in the socio-technical system. Going global isn’t easy. Galbraith, author of Designing Organizations, discusses four barriers that prevent businesses for going global: (a) complexity of doing business in many countries, (b) the difficulty of recreating competitive advantages, (c) the issues of increasing geopolitical uncertainty, and (d) problems with sacrificing global customers. In fact, today customers are more powerful because they have both influence and more information. For most large organizations, the rigidity of organization structure prevents global success and creates stiff bureaucracy. Senge, a management consultant, suggests that many businesses suffer a narrowness of focus. Therefore, going global needs more flexibility.

References:

Drucker, P. (1964). Managing for Results. New York: Harper & Row, Publishers.

Gailbraith, J. (2000). Designing the Global Corporation. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass

Nadler, D. and Tushman, M. (1997). Competing by Design. New York: Oxford University Press.

Senge, P. (1990). The Fifth Discipline. New York: DoubleDay. © 2007 by Daryl D. Green

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Leadership Success - How To Make People Hear The Advice That You Give

You know as well as I do how frustrating it is when you are trying to give advice to someone and they won’t listen to a word you are saying. But because you are a leader you know the importance of being able to convey your advice, not only to those you are leading, but also to those who are your superiors. Advice is a funny thing because, if you are the one giving it, you think it’s the best advice in the world. However, the person you are trying to give it to doesn’t always see it as great advice.

So the question is, ‘How do you make someone listen to your advice?’

Samuel Taylor Coleridge once said, ‘Advice is like snow -- the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind.’

The answer isn’t always to try and ‘make’ someone listen to you. Sometimes as a leader, the best thing to do is to find ways to give your advice softly. Now this isn’t always an easy thing to do if you are a strong-willed, passionate leader, but as a leader your greatest asset will always be your people skills.

If you learn how to deal with people correctly, then you will be able to deliver your message in a way that will not only be appealing, but will effect people according to their own personality. By doing this, you’ll find that your advice will be accepted much more often, and will actually be implemented.

Of course, this may take some time depending on your own personality and willingness to change. But if you do begin to change your ways of giving advice you will see change much faster than you think. Don’t just be a leader, be a leader that impacts people to reach their full potential.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Leadership Mastery – Why It's Important To Encourage Your People To Speak Their Mind

The difference between being an average leader and being a great leader is your willingness to learn from everything and everyone. I am amazed however, that so many leaders don’t listen to the people that oftentimes have the best information. These are the very people that you lead. It’s almost like a leader is more willing to pay large sums of money to outside companies to help grow their organization before they will listen to the people who generate the pulse of the organization.

I have found that one of the reasons leaders won’t listen to their own people is because they don’t feel like they should be confronted, or have an idea challenged by one of the ‘subordinates’. To me this is just crazy.

For your organization to grow and succeed you need to encourage people to speak their mind even if it is controversial. Dudley Field Malone once said, ‘I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.’ If all you are looking for in your organization are ‘yes men’ you will find that underneath a seemingly successful exterior there is actually a rotting and disgruntled core.

Allowing people to speak their mind doesn’t mean that they will lose respect for your authority as a leader. Actually, quite the opposite will occur. People will begin to feel like they are a contributing factor to the organization and morale will actually increase. Not only that, but you will find that people will actually start to respect you more because you care about how they feel because you seek out their specific area of expertise. So don’t be afraid, let your people speak their minds.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Learn Ninja Secret for Modern Day Life

If one wants to live a powerful yet mysterious life, then one strong option is to learn ninja secret and apply it to modern day living. We live in a very sped up environment where people are constantly hustling and bustling about. No one pays attention to detail, their maneuvers are all predictable and boring, and their lives are filled with stress and unease.

Enter the ninja.

The modern day ninja may very well be among the crowd, in the office space, or on duty at the construction site. Just as the ninja of old has to learn ninja secret to be able to blend into the night, the ninja of new has to also learn ninja secret to the modern world and then has the ability to blend in with the day. If your careful enough to notice, you may have been waiting at a bus stop in front of a seemingly normal individual, albeit with a calming, satisfying slight grin on his face. Moments later you turn around. The individual is gone. You look left, right, up, down, but they are nowhere to be seen. You had been standing in front of a ninja.

This is no joke and unfortunately the ninja lore of old has remained exactly that: stories from the past of unbelievable feats performed by ninja. When in reality, ninja way of life was a disciplined, serious affair, with many tricks to the trade created out of that exact discipline and strength. But with the lore so strong, no one thought to get past it and begin to learn ninja secret, and then apply it to the modern day. What a perfect way to combat all the chaos and confusion of modern day life than to learn ninja secret, thus rising above and beyond the everyday sheep.

Think of life as a chess game. Who usually wins at chess? The person who can see clearly 3 or 4 moves ahead of everyone else. Following me now? The ninja was known for cunning mastery and mystery. Learn ninja secret and apply it to the modern day and your life becomes a chess board that you literally skate across with ease, knocking away pawns left and right and declaring "check-mate" at every obstacle and goal you face. While everyone else remains intrigued with ninja of old, the seeker of a powerful, mysterious and cunning way of life would be wise to learn ninja secret, and reign supreme cruising sleekly along their path of glorious life!

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

10 Morning Coffee Thoughts on Leadership

People who get results are high impact leaders. They are consistent, explicit and concise and they command a presence when they walk into a room. They have enough charisma to turn the dullest moment into a high-energy event. When they move on, others want to go with them. Their openness and honesty creates a legacy which people admire and look up to. They gain commitment and foster trust.

1. An effective leader is only as good as the people he/she surrounds themselves with.

2. Character is built around a true concern for the people within the organization. It is based on fairness and consistency.

3. Problems with staffing and retention may not be due to bad hires or a low unemployment rate. In fact, they may be related to poor leadership insight by not recognizing employees as a core competency in the business strategy.

4. “Profit is not a Dirty Word.” Profit is the driving force that encourages a willingness to take risks and taking calculated risks to generate profit requires an adaptability to change. Profit is the lifeblood of business success. Without it there are no jobs, no promotions, no growth and no leadership. Leaders have a unique ability to generate profit.

5. Success is defined by the quality of leadership at all levels in the organization.

6. P.O.P. ----- The employees are the people with the “Power of Profitability” Although profit is essential for survival of the organization it must take its place of importance behind the employees because they hold the power to create profit or kill it.

7. Panic response management is more likely to occur if growth objectives are Ego driven vs. Profit driven which often leads to putting personal needs ahead of business needs. This is a common symptom of the lack of leadership in the organization. Leadership is quite different then management.

8. Leadership without communication is like a gun without a bullet. It looks impressive but it can’t do anything.

9. In Reality --We often don’t give employees enough credit for their intellectual capacity. Employees aren’t stupid. It is amazing what they can accomplish, the ideas they can come up with and the solutions they can provide --- if only you give them a chance.

10. Excitement breeds excitement. Success breeds’ success, the more consuming the desire to succeed, the more leadership is demonstrated and this draws support from the employees and creates a team environment.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Leaders Need Passion

Leaders need passion, how does it work?

I become more fascinated by people and behaviour. Can you think of any outstanding leaders and what it is that sets these people apart?

Some develop in large corporations, through political activity and many other routes. It's therefore difficult to pin point one feature that is common to all.

There are I think three characteristics that have to be there;

1 Self critical to the point of setting standards for ones self so that others will want to measure up and help. If people know what you stand for they are going to be confident in your company and listen to what you have to say.

2 Natural, so that you are the genuine article. No airs and graces, down to earth, easy but decisive. Again people will know where they stand and know you have courage and confidence.

3 Passionate about what you do. If you think of some of the great leaders, they were/are passionate about their cause. Committed to achieve strategic results and will follow through until achieved.

No matter what you are engaged in, corporate activity, entrepreneurial activities, consulting or your own business in some form you will need passion to achieve success.

Passion, to make your contribution to the corporation.

Passion, to exploit your entrepreneurial instincts.

Passion, to give outstanding service.

Passion, for your product.

I remember early in my corporate career having to take over a department and organise it as a profit centre. It needed re-organising with proper management disciplines introduced. There was lot of resistance to change but one person understood what was needed. He gave total support and we turned the department round.

I was passing through; he was established and took over the running of the now profitable department. He never believed he could do it but went to make an outstanding success; he developed into an effective manager.

Proud as I am of what we achieved together and pleased for him for what he went on to become, he was not what I would describe as a natural leader. If he hadn't been shown the way he would have continued to accept the status quo.

Perhaps he lacked some of the passion real leaders need.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Leadership Crisis in America

VA hospitals neglecting our veterans, a poorly rated public education system, unaffordable health care, and corporate corruption running amok have all been in the news. What’s going on here? What do all of these have in common?

“Inadequate leadership” is the answer.

Steven Covey, in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, mentioned the discovery of an interesting phenomenon when he reviewed success literature written during the last 200 years. The success literature of the past 50 years emphasized the importance of personality and skill development. The literature of over 50 years ago by writers such as Emerson, Thoreau, and others, emphasized character and inner development.

What happens if we do not build a strong foundation through inner development? We have witnessed charismatic politicians, ministers, athletes, and others with tremendous communication and interpersonal skills who ended up in disgrace and/or prison. What was missing? The foundation. It was either missing or unstable. Character is the foundation upon which we must build skills, techniques, and strategies for effectiveness which can withstand the test of time and temptation. Without strong character the likelihood is that our skills will be misused and improperly channeled, which may be damaging to us and others.

Competent leaders with character and integrity who lead by example are needed. We need principled leaders who genuinely care about the welfare of others.Where is the great leaders like Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, and Mahatma Gandhi? We need leaders of this caliber.

The good news is that we can develop successful leaders. We can achieve this by examining great leaders and systems that are producing results. Then we can create and use models of what is working. This is an effective way to address the problem.

Schools are one place where we can start developing future leaders. Our schools need to teach character education and create a climate where kids strive for excellence and learn to care about others.

Are there examples of such schools? Fortunately there are many. For example, kids from the poorest neighborhoods who go to KIPP charter schools, who are on the average two grades behind when they start, are outscoring students from excellent schools on standardized tests. The students develop character traits and work in a spirit of cooperation to help each other succeed. The teachers are excellent leaders whose dedication inspires students to bring out their best.

True leaders are torch bearers who nurture the seeds of greatness in their followers. Helping others to unfold their potential is education and leadership at its best. Developing more of these types of leaders is a solution to the leadership crisis.

Copyright 2007. Raymond Gerson

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Leadership Development is Coming of Age and Returning to Each and Every Individual

Leadership development can be read in any business, educational or professional organizational journal. Leadership continues to be a popular topic. However, with thousands of articles, hundreds of books, the question for me is "Why?"

With all this information, why are we still not developing the leaders necessary for the 21st century? Maybe, because the focus is on the competencies (knowledge and skills) and fails to acknowledge that each individual brings to the table of life certain key strengths. When a competency-based model for leadership is implemented, this approach ignores the wealth of inherent strengths that reside within each individual and can be developed into incredible leadership skills.

Also, leadership skills are not just relegated to the executive team or upper management, but should cascade down throughout the organization and positively develop each and every stakeholder.

So, then what is the definition of leadership? Peter Drucker has stated that "leadership is all about results." Drucker's definition is only part of what leadership means. By achieving results forward progress is made and those involved feel that their efforts have been justified.

Leading without securing either business results or personal results is much like walking the same path over and over again. This may be an easy path to travel, but ultimately diminishes the incredible potential residing within all individuals and decreases the overall results within the organization. Also, this approach reinforces a fear of accountability. By not having the desired results clearly articulated and shared, everyone denies accountability and embraces a victim mentality by pointing their fingers at other shareholders.

Another part of leadership, missing from Drucker's definition, is that core values must always be demonstrated when achieving the desired results. Failure to include those non-negotiable behaviors within the overall definition of leadership supports a culture contrary to the desired results.

Today's media has the ability to almost immediately broadcast the unethical behaviors of corporate CEOs to elected government officials. These individuals, in many cases, are viewed as leaders within the communities because they were able to secure significant results. However, because they sacrificed their values or in some cases there were no core values present, these individuals are truly not the leaders necessary to take a school corporation, an organization, a state or a country forward in the 21st century.

Also, leadership begins with the individual. Leadership is about individuals achieving results. Drucker's and others' definitions may imply that leadership begins from within each individual, but the definition of leadership must clearly state the source of leadership.

Finally, leadership is truly about achieving the desired results. The use of the word desired indicates that there exists some planning, strategy and higher order thinking skills involved. Results are not achieved willy-nilly or haphazardly, but rather with careful and thoughtful consideration.

If we accept the definition of leadership as being individuals who consistently deliver the desired results while executing positive core values, our belief of leadership may change. No longer do we confuse leadership with management, that leadership is only for the administrative team or that leadership for management is different than leadership for the rest of the those within the organization. Nor we will accept any results, but rather results that can be directly tied to specific strategies and tactics. Now, we can begin to look at the strengths of each individual and how those strengths can be further developed and leveraged to create a win-win for everyone.

The next question is how do we leverage the strengths of each individual to help them become better leaders who can consistently achieve the desired results without the sacrifice of positive and critical core values? That is a very good question and the answer may be far simpler than many realize.

In any organization, management needs to model the leadership behaviors that they are expecting from each other as well as everyone else. The disconnect between "Do as I say and not as I do" rings even more false today than 40 years ago. Today's work force can see the disconnects and more importantly will challenge those very same issues. Their challenges can be direct, but are usually indirect through many of their miss-behaviors including "jumping ship."

Leadership development is coming of age and more and more individuals are recognizing that leadership requires a shared definition as well as total alignment within the organization. Failure to embrace this realization will create a rudderless ship traveling thousands of miles in a continual circle while wasting the individual potential of each crew member.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Why Leadership Development Must Include Empathy

By: Leanne Hoagland-Smith


Leadership development is important goal from the small business owner to the Fortune 500 companies. A recent report from Sherpa Coaching revealed that leadership development is the basis for 49% of all executive coaching.

After reading this extensive report and the many other reports on coaching, one can not help but wonder why the emphasis on leadership skills or what many call the soft skills. However, the research suggests that the development of these critical skills dramatically increases emotional intelligence. One of the foundational concepts within emotional intelligence is the ability to intellectually or emotionally identify with another. Empathy is that ability.

Leadership in today's diverse global market place demands the ability to relate to others if the leader truly wants to achieve the desired results. Without results, businesses will fail.

The old leadership role of "It's my way or the highway” might have worked when everyone shared the same values, the same ethnic origins and the same belief systems. However, people in the 21st century are smarter not to mention quite different than their ancestors. These people experience more change in one year than their grandparents experienced in their entire lifetime. All of this change creates additional stress and pushes them to seek other opportunities to realize their dreams. Effective leaders must be able to relate to these changes if they want to achieve the predetermined results.

Daniel Goleman in his book Working with Emotional Intelligence (EQ) speaks directly to the impact of EQ from the variety of studies he researched. One research study conducted by Richard Boyatzis of 2,000 supervisors, middle managers and executives at 12 different organizations revealed EQ separated high performers from average ones in 14 of 16 competencies. An even larger multi-national study of 286 organizations demonstrated that over 80% of the general competencies that identify superior performance depend on high emotional intelligence more so than pure cognitive abilities.

Goleman's definition of empathy is a social competence where we are aware of another's feelings, needs and concerns. He further explains that emotional intelligence determines "our potential for learning." Empathy is one of the five elements that he discusses.

Having a high degree of empathy and being able to use that emotional competency is truly a "no brainer." Empathy can be developed within any individual especially those in leadership roles. The challenge is to include this capacity within your leadership development for your organization and even yourself.

Your Leadership Scorecard

By: Mitch McCrimmon


How can you tell if you are really showing leadership? It depends on how you define it. Unless you get feedback from people you are managing, it is hard to know how you are doing in a managerial role. But this is only one way of looking at leadership.

You can also define leadership as promoting new or better ways of doing things and being able to convince your target audience to buy your idea. This is the sort of leadership that Martin Luther King showed to the US government when his protests against segregation on buses led the US Supreme Court to outlaw such segregation. This form of leadership had nothing to do with King managing any part of the US government. Leadership really means showing the way, helping people see a better way of doing things, either by setting an example or by actively promoting it.

So, how can you keep score on your own leadership efforts? And, why should you bother? The main reason to do it is that your confidence could get a great boost and it might encourage you to show even more leadership. You probably show leadership in at least a dozen small ways every day without being aware of it. We can easily overlook the seemingly little things we do every day and not realize that we have had an impact on people around us. Things that seem obvious or easy for us, we discount. We don’t see such things as a big deal, but they might be new and difficult for others. So, if you don’t keep score, you may be showing more leadership than you realize, but think you aren’t really showing any at all. If this is you, maybe you’re selling yourself short.

To set up your leadership scorecard, categorize your leadership attempts from small to large scale as follows:

1. Convincing a subordinate to do something different.
2. Influencing a peer to think or act differently.
3. Selling a new idea to your boss.
4. Getting your department to change a small but significant process.
5. Convincing your department to adopt a larger scale change.
6. Influencing your whole organization to shift direction.
7. Convincing your organization to take a major change in direction.

You may be able to think of some other categories. Keep track of how many times each week you show leadership at each of these levels. The benefit of this list is that it encourages you to start small. If at the end of the week you have shown leadership successfully a few dozen times at the first two or three levels, you just might be confident enough to raise your game to a higher level.

If you’re not sure if your leadership attempts were successful, check back in a few days and ask the people you tried to influence if they made the change and what they see as the benefits of the switch. Getting the other person to articulate the benefits as they see them is itself a great leadership tactic. If they weren’t quite sold before, getting them to state the benefits might tip them over the edge. If you find keeping score a great motivator for you, try asking them how helpful your suggestion was on a scale of 1 to 10.

There is solid evidence that personal change occurs most readily if we measure our success. So, you may think it’s a bit contrived or self-indulgent to keep track of your successes in this way, but it just might be a great way to help you lift your game to achieve a broader leadership impact, one that moves a larger part of your organization toward more significant changes over time. As you gradually raise the stakes, you should find yourself getting more attention and respect.

The more you stick your neck out, however, the greater the risk, so be sure to get key stakeholders on side before you try to promote anything really large scale or radical. You don’t need to go for broke. Try your ideas out on receptive audiences first. Ask them who else might benefit from your idea. Enlist their support by asking them to spread the word. Ask yourself who has most at stake to preserve the status quo. Sound these people out quietly before you go public on a major change initiative.

The old saying: What gets measured, gets done applies to leadership. If you don't measure, you probably won't achieve your full leadership potential.

LEADERSHIP: TWO EXTREMES

By: Tim Bryce, PM

There seems to be two types of leaders in the corporate world these days; on the one extreme is the micromanager who supervises everyone's work, and on the other end of the spectrum is the person who wants everyone to love him. Interestingly, neither approach is effective for true leadership. Whereas the micromanager tends to turn people off simply because he doesn't respect the workers ability to do their jobs properly, the "lover" commands no respect either as he tends to avoid taking a stand on any issue; he just wants to keep everyone happy and hopes they will somehow work together towards some common goals. Inevitably they do not and chaos ensues. I am reminded of what former UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher said, "Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides."

Frankly, to be an effective leader, I think you have to find a medium between the two extremes. As many of you know, I am an advocate of worker empowerment where you manage from the bottom-up, not just from the top-down. I think it is important to treat workers as professionals, such as giving them responsibility and holding them accountable for their actions. If they believe their voice is heard, they are more inclined to accept responsibility and direction. I think this is an important part of leading a worthy life, both personally and professionally.

I'm also smart enough to know that a manager is not in a popularity contest and is responsible for delivering results. This means the leader has to know the right direction to be heading, be able to articulate it to the staff, and motivate them to get the job done. As such, it is more important for a manager to be respected as opposed to loved. People will simply not produce the deliverables you want if they do not respect you.

One classic example of how you cannot lead through love is exemplified in NBC's hit comedy, "The Office." In the show, Michael Scott (as played by actor Steve Carell) is a regional branch manager of an office that sells paper. Here, the manager desperately wants to be loved by his staff, and the more he tries, the less the staff respects him and the office just stumbles along.

When it comes to leadership, there can only be one captain, you cannot lead by democracy. You have to be able to give an order, and you have to have confidence the workers will respond accordingly. This doesn't mean you have to sit over people with a whip and a chair as exemplified by micromanagement. It is about empowerment and respect. If you haven't got respect, you won't be leading anybody anywhere anytime.

Perhaps the best interpretation of leadership I've come across is from President Harry Truman who said, "Leadership is the ability to get men to do what they don't want to do and like it."

Developing Leadership Skills

The first area that we look at is that of Personal Attributes. This is a blend of knowledge, expertise, and competencies, encapsulated in the approach, the behaviour, of the leader. In organisations of all sizes and in all sectors, public and private, these characteristics are key to effective leadership. The essential personal attributes are as follows.

Behaving Ethically, by: learning about the ethical issues and concerns that impact on your business sector; adopting a balanced, open-minded approach to the ethical concerns of others; considering the ethical issues and implications of all personal actions and organisational activity; raising and discussing ethical issues before proposing or agreeing to decisions; resisting pressures from the organisation or its partners to achieve objectives by unethical means.

Thinking Strategically, by: learning and understanding how the different functions, physical divisions, and layers, of the organisation should work together: understanding the complexities of, and the changes happening in, the external environment, and considering how the organisation can best respond the these; understanding the strengths and weaknesses of the organisation, and the opportunities and threats facing it; understanding how the strategic objectives are influenced by all the current and forecast influences that will impact on the organisation; understanding that the operational objectives and targets must be in line with and support the strategic objectives of the organisation; being aware of and responding to the behaviour of current and potential competitors.

Supporting Corporate Goals, by: helping to create and communicate a vision which can be understood and supported by people at all levels; helping others to understand and contribute to the strategic goals; giving visible personal support to the strategic direction and specific goals set by the organisation.

Communicating Effectively, by: being responsive to messages and signals from the internal and external environments; making effective use of communication channels from and to all levels within the organisation; pro-actively encourage the exchange of information within the organisation, and amongst suppliers, customers and partners; listening to others, including those with opposing views, carefully and thoughtfully; selecting personal communication styles that are appropriate to the different situations and audiences.

Gathering Information, by: establishing multiple channels and networks which generate a constant flow of information, from within and outside the organisation; regularly and consistently gathering, analysing, challenging, and using the information gathered.

Making Decisions, by: establishing a consistent approach to the analysis of information; drawing on personal experience and knowledge to identify current and potential problems; consider a range of solutions before selecting the final one; ensuring that the selected decision is feasible, achievable, and affordable; considering the impact of the decision on all stakeholders, at all levels, before approving implementation.

Developing Effective Teams, by: appreciating the contribution of others, at all levels in the organisation; ensuring that individuals and teams are kept informed of plans, developments and issues that will affect them; ensuring that individual and team development schemes are given appropriate priority; providing personal support for the implementation and maintenance of development activities for individuals and teams at all levels.

Behaving Assertively, by: understanding and responding to personal roles and responsibilities; adopting a leading role in initiating action and decision making; taking personal responsibility for decisions and actions; being properly prepared for involvement in activities and events; being confident and professional in dealing with change and challenges; refusing unreasonable demands; defending and protecting individuals and teams from unfair or discriminatory actions; remaining professional in manner at all times.

Concentrating On Results, by: contributing to the establishment of an organisational culture that demands high standards and high levels of performance; focusing on objectives and planned outcomes, at all times; dealing with issues and problems when they arise; planning and scheduling personal work and the work of others in ways which make best use of available resources; delegating appropriately; giving personal attention to the critical issues and events.

Managing Yourself, by: reflecting regularly on personal performance and progress; pro-actively asking for feedback on personal performance; changing personal behaviour in the light of feedback received; being responsible for your own personal development needs.

Presenting a Positive Image, by: adopting a leading role in initiating action and decision making; behaving in a professional manner at all times; being open-minded and responsive to the needs of others; visibly working towards personal and career development goals; adopting an ethical approach to all personal and organisational activity; being supportive to colleagues; demonstrating fairness and integrity at all times.

In Summary: these essential attributes are many, and difficult to maintain consistently, but they are the attributes needed by, and expected of, our business leaders. The size of the organisation, the business sector, whether public or private, is of no consequence. The leaders of all organisations should be role models for others, be visible champions of high standards of professional and ethical behaviour, be leaders who others in their organisations can be proud of, and be leaders that competitors are envious of. Not many of these characteristics are imbued in our leaders by default. They have to be learned, can be learned, and should then be continuously developed and enhanced. With these personal attributes in place, and being demonstrated in behaviour and actions, business leaders will be more effective and more successful.

Successful Leadership Strategies

By: CJ Williams

Ensuring Successful Analysis, by: analysing the operating environments on a regular basis, and additionally when major changes occur; using legal and ethical means to gather information; using experienced specialists to gather and analyse the information; using an appropriate range of information gathering tools and techniques; gathering information from an appropriate range of sources; ensuring that forecasts, trends, predictions, are supported by sufficient evidence. The objective is to carry out an analysis that provides the organisation with a clear picture of the current environment in which it operates, and a forecast of impending changes. This will enable the leaders of the organisation to make changes to existing operational objectives in response to the findings on the current situation, and to longer term plans in preparation for the predicted changes. A thorough analysis should be carried out at least annually, with quarterly reviews. This will ensure that the leaders of the organisation are fully informed at all times, and are equipped with information that will enable them to respond appropriately to any changes which impact on the organisation.

Analysing The External Environment, by: identifying the components and the boundaries of the external environment in which the organisation operates; considering the current political, economic, social, technological, and environmental situation; gathering appropriate, sufficient, reliable, and valid information; identifying and evaluating trends; evaluating the impact of current influences on the organisation; forecasting the impact of potential changes on the organisation. The objective here is to gather information which highlights or predicts changes in the world in which the organisation operates. There are many thousands of local and international influences and forces which impact on the organisation. Indicative examples include demographic changes, cultural changes, and social behaviour changes, all of which can lead to changes in customer markets and buying patterns. Another example is a potential or forecast change in a technology which could end demand for certain products or services. For almost any organisation, of any size, and in any sector, gathering and analysing this type of information is critical.

Evaluating Competitor Behaviour, by: identifying current and potential competitor organisations; gathering appropriate information on current and forecast competitor activity; evaluating the strengths and weaknesses of individual current competitors; considering the potential impact of new entrants or changes in competitor behaviour. The purpose of this is straightforward. Competitors are, by default, competing for the same customers, and if they are worthy competitors, they will be carrying out the same type of analytical activity, and responding to their findings. Competitor activity can be a vital component of the information gathered, as it indicates how similar organisations are responding to current and forecast changes.

Considering The Needs Of Stakeholders, by: identifying all stakeholders, within and outside the organisation; evaluating the importance of support from each stakeholder group; consulting with stakeholders to identify and understand their needs; explaining to stakeholders the organisation’s strategies and values; resolving conflicts and misunderstandings through discussion. The aim of this activity is to ensure that the needs of the stakeholders are known, and their views taken into consideration. Stakeholders can include operational staff, managers, trade unions, shareholders, suppliers, customers, clients, sponsors, funding organisations, partner organisations, local government departments, and local or national media. There can also be sector-specific stakeholders, such as relatives of patients, in the hospital sector, local residents affected by major construction projects, or parents of schoolchildren.

Evaluate The Internal Condition Of The Organisation, by: analysing the organisation’s current internal condition; carrying out a review of strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. The aim is to build a detailed picture of the current condition of the organisation, in terms of its internal health. This should be comprehensive, looking at all internal aspects of the organisation, including for example, the physical location(s) in which it operates, condition of buildings, equipment, vehicles, plant, funding, operational performance, recruitment, retention, training and development, policies, procedures, products, services and so on.

Adjusting Current Strategies, by: considering the findings of the analysis activities, and then evaluating current strategies and direction against these; consulting with specialists and key stakeholders about the proposed changes; adjusting current strategies and strategic objectives or replacing them with new ones; implementing a management system that will monitor, control, and adjust where necessary, the new strategies. The objective here is clear. To survive, the organisation must have in place appropriate strategies. Unless strategic direction, specific strategies, and their related objectives, are regularly evaluated, maintained and adjusted, the ability to compete will deteriorate and eventually the organisation will fail.

Adjusting Systems and Structures, by: evaluating the appropriateness of the current systems and structures in meeting the demands of the new strategies; consulting with all affected stakeholders on proposed changes; planning and implementing changes to operational, quality, and cultural systems, policies, procedures, and structures; implementing procedures to monitor, control, and adjust these as necessary. The purpose of this is to put in place an appropriate infrastructure that will support the new strategic and operational objectives. Unless this infrastructure is compatible with, and supports the achievement of, these objectives, the strategies will run into difficulties and almost certainly fail.

Adjusting Current Operational Objectives, by: adjusting operational objectives and activity in response to the changes in strategic direction; implementing an appropriate quality assurance management system to maintain operational quality standards; implementing procedures to monitor, control, and adjust operational activity and objectives as necessary. Operational activity must support and help achieve the strategic objectives. It is extremely damaging, if not fatal, to allow operational activity to continue unchanged, when the strategic direction and objectives of the organisation have changed.

Adjusting Personnel Capabilities, by: comparing the current and potential performance capability of key individuals and teams against the forecast performance requirements; improving personnel capability by re-training and development where appropriate; replacing individuals and teams where necessary; implementing an individual and team appraisal and development system.The aim of this activity is to ensure that, at all levels, the best possible individuals and teams are in place to support and help achieve the organisation’s goals. Without the right people the strategies will fail.

In Summary: analysing the environment in which the organisation operates is the most critically important activity that the organisation’s leaders undertake. It represents the sole purpose of the leaders, that is to ensure that the organisation is taking the most appropriate strategic direction and is equipped with the optimum resources needed to be successful in achieving its objectives. High quality information is critical to the success of the organisation, and information about the changes and challenges facing the organisation in the future is the most valuable of all.

Leadership Skills: Developing Positive Relationships

By: CJ Williams

Maintaining High Standards Of Personal Behaviour, by: maintaining high standards of personal beliefs; behaving with integrity and fairness; behaving ethically; showing respect and sensitivity for the views of others; ensuring that all relevant people are kept informed of plans, decisions, and progress; pro-actively seeking positive relationships; accepting criticism and feedback positively. The rationale is that the leader must aspire to be a role model for high standards of personal behaviour, be ethical, be honest, be genuine, so that they are ultimately trusted by colleagues and stakeholders. Even if the leader is required to carry out actions that have an unpalatable impact, such as when redundancies are necessary, the aim is to carry out such actions in as honest, open, and sympathetic manner as possible, so that observers, even those most negatively affected, will not be able to accuse the leader of unacceptable personal behaviour.

Establishing Supportive Communication Systems, by: establishing training programmes that develop individual and team communication skills; establishing systems that support collaboration and cooperation between internal and external individuals and groups; implementing information management systems that ensure key information reaches appropriate people in a timely manner; encouraging consultative and participative decision making at all levels. Systems and approaches described here are essential foundation blocks on which positive relationships can be built and developed. Without this underlying framework in place, information will be dissipated and misinterpreted, decisions will be based on inadequate information, and relationships will deteriorate.

Promoting Values and Standards, by: consulting with specialists, individuals, teams, and legislative bodies, to identify and establish appropriate values and standards for the organisation; providing guidance on values and standards that is understood at all levels; ensuring that all external partners are made aware of the organisation’s values and standards; implementing policies and procedures that manage, monitor, and improve the quality of values and standards, at all levels; taking prompt and visible action when established values and standards have not been maintained. The objective here is to ensure that all working relationships are built and developed against a background of known values and standards, and that all parties are made aware that the quality of internal and external relationships is an important aspect of the organisation’s approach to these.

Gaining The Trust of Colleagues, by: consulting with colleagues in an open and honest manner; keeping colleagues appropriately informed about decisions, plans, actions, and progress; providing colleagues with sufficient personal support; honouring commitments made to colleagues; treating colleagues with respect and with appropriate confidentiality. Leaders should work with colleagues in a way which demonstrates the leader’s commitment to the values and standards of the organisation, and in a manner which demonstrates to colleagues that they have the respect and support of their leader. This is vital in enabling the leader to draw the best performance from colleagues, and for those colleagues to achieve their personal performance targets. Gaining The Trust Of External Stakeholders, by: striving to understand the viewpoint and the objectives of the stakeholder; consulting with stakeholders in an open and honest manner; keeping stakeholders appropriately informed about the organisation’s decisions, plans, actions, and progress; demonstrating personal commitment to agreements and arrangements; honouring commitments made to stakeholders; treating stakeholders with respect and with appropriate confidentiality. The aim here is to behave with stakeholder in an honest, open, and positive manner. For the relationship between the organisation and the stakeholder to be successful, there must be mutual understanding, mutual respect, and a desire to develop a relationship that is beneficial to both parties. This is essential in all external relationships, and particularly critical when the relationship is intended to be long term.

Evaluate Relationship Performance, by: laying down clear quality criteria for the assessment of the condition of relationships; establishing monitoring procedures which include scheduled evaluation review points; insisting that evaluation reviews are carried out even though the relationship appears to be healthy; taking appropriate corrective action to address problems; adopting a continuous improvement approach to all internal and external relationships; ensuring that the quality of relationships is high on the quality assurance agenda of the organisation. Regular and thorough assessments of the condition of relationships is vital. Without these evaluations, and appropriate corrective action, many relationships will deteriorate. Some will linger in a poor condition, causing a constant flow of minor difficulties, some will implode and cause major problems. These problems can be avoided by a regular health-check on each set of relationships followed by appropriate action.

In Summary: just as the organisation’s leaders must maintain, develop, and continuously improve the quality of its physical resources, its marketing performance, its financial health, and so on, the leaders must also take the same approach to working relationships between themselves and others, and between all other internal and external partners in the organisation. For the organisation to achieve its operational targets and strategic objectives, it is essential that all working relationships are healthy and productive and continuously improving. The leaders of the organisation must ensure that this is the case.

Leadership And Team Management

Establishing An Appropriate Organisational Structure, by: considering the strategic direction and objectives of the organisation; considering the desired organisational culture; identifying the critical activity areas of the organisation; deciding on an appropriate organisational structure. This is an essential first step. Before any changes or new directions can be taken the leaders must decide on an organisational structure that will support the strategic direction being taken, and an organisational culture that they will be aiming to create. The management teams network that is then put in place will be compatible with the structure and contribute to developing the desired culture.

Deciding On A Management Teams Structure, by; planning a network of management teams to match the requirements identified in the previous activity; agreeing individual team structure; agreeing individual team objectives, roles, responsibilities, size, location, resource needs; identifying team member and team leader profiles for each management team. The planning undertaken here will provide the template for the new structure, when implemented. This planning is best carried out as a factual, needs based, exercise. The role of the team, and its objectives, should be allowed to dictate size, location, team leader and team member profiles. Resource implications should be dealt with after the structure has been agreed. Existing and potential personnel should be assessed against these only at the next stage, when the teams are populated. Option 1: Assessing Existing Teams, by: identifying existing management teams; analysing the objectives of existing teams; evaluating the performance of existing teams; evaluating the performance of individual team leaders; comparing each management team profile with the newly defined requirements. In many, if not most, organisations this will be necessary due to legislative constraints and-or ethical considerations. However, the existing teams are unlikely to be appropriate, other than in part, and the outcomes of this action will simply identify what are likely to be major gaps and changes that will need to be made, in order to match the new requirements. Option 2: Removing Existing Teams, by: removing the old structure completely. This option is the most effective, a total reengineering, but the most radical. If possible, this is the better option, as the organisation can make the changes required to most appropriately match the new strategic direction, and move forward unhindered by partially or wholly unsuitable management teams.

Implementing The New Management Teams Network, by: providing information about the changes to all affected - in most organisations this will mean at all levels and both internally and externally; selecting team leaders and team members; establishing the teams in their locations; training each team in its new role, responsibilities, objectives, and operational activities; providing appropriate resources for each team; launching the new network into active service . A critical stage, this needs to be managed as a major change activity, and as a major project. An executive level manager should be appointed to oversee the changes. Communication with all stakeholders, who will be many, at many levels, and both internal and external to the organisation, will need to be managed carefully.

Implementing A Management Team Performance System, by: designing a rigorous teams performance appraisal system; monitoring the performance of individual teams; taking appropriate corrective action where when necessary. Many organisations operate an effective employee appraisal system, but this usually only applies to operational employees and junior managers. Middle and Senior managers must also be appraised on a regular basis, ideally more frequently than operational employees, as the managers’ actions usually have greater negative or positive impact. This line of thinking must also be applied to management teams, because of the degree of influence and impact of the team collective decisions and actions. The leaders of the organisation must be continuously aware of the performance levels of their management teams, and take action to maintain or raise that performance level as necessary. Implementing a performance appraisal and continuous improvement approach to the network of management teams is vital. In the early stages of the life of the teams the focus will be on awareness and understanding of the objectives of the team, and identifying training and development needs to support new or adjusted roles. As the team grows and matures, the monitoring will focus firstly on consistency of performance, and then on supporting a continuous improvement in that performance. At all stages in the life cycle of each team, performance appraisal must be a regular and visible process.

Network Review And Refresh, by: arranging regular reviews of the appropriateness of the management teams network; assessing the suitability of each part of the network against newer versions of the strategic objectives; assessing the structure of the network against the current organisational structure and culture; making appropriate changes to individual components and-or the overall structure of the network. A major review should be held every year, as a key part of the review and adjustment of strategies and objectives in the annual strategic planning process. At this review point minor or major changes should be agreed, to adjust the network so that it continues to match the requirements dictated by the refreshed strategic and operational objectives. In addition, the condition of the management teams network should be an agenda item on at least quarterly executive level meetings, where corrective action can be decided on where necessary.

In Summary: establishing a compatible management teams structure is an essential first step in ensuring that the organisation’s strategies are implemented successfully. Without a robust network of management teams, appropriate to the size and complexity of the organisation and its strategic objectives, the strategic and operational objectives will not be achieved. Effective management teams are the driving force behind the achievement of objectives. This network cannot be successful if it is weak or flawed. It is the role of the leaders of the organisation to ensure that the management teams network is strong, dynamic, and focused on achieving its objectives, in its individual parts and collectively.

Leadership Skills: Delegating Responsibility

By: CJ Williams

Support Strategic Objectives, by: identifying roles and responsibilities necessary to support strategic objectives; defining roles, responsibilities, and degrees of authority, needed by individuals and teams; designing policies and procedures for the management of delegated activities. The purpose of this is to review the distribution of roles and responsibilities at the senior level. The aim of the review is to ensure that the distribution is balanced and appropriate. This is also an opportunity to make certain that the senior, executive level management structure is appropriate for the strategic direction being taken. If mismatches are discovered at this point, then the leader(s) have an opportunity to adjust the organisational structure, at this level, to better match the demands of the strategies.

Make Decisions On Activity To Delegate, by: deciding which areas of work, routine activity, stand alone projects, absence cover, key operational decisions, emergency or business disaster events, and strategic level decisions, should have responsibility or authority delegated to specific managers. This is an essential stage, but a difficult one. It involves forecasting and scenario planning, in order to determine which activities, and in which circumstances, should responsibility and authority be given. It requires the delegating leader(s) to analyse thoroughly the planned activity and potential events, in order to identify where delegation should take place, and to whom it should be given to.

Selecting Managers And Specialists To Delegate To, by: identifying the current roles, responsibilities and authority of those individuals and teams; evaluating the skills, abilities, and development potential, of existing (senior management) individuals and teams; assessing the degree of responsibility and authority that can be given to individuals and teams; identifying coaching and-or training needs to prepare individuals and teams for delegation. Carefully profiling the existing senior management individuals is critical, because delegation will not be effective if it is given to an individual who is not capable of using the delegated powers effectively. Where gaps in capability are identified, training or coaching should be provided to fill that gap. If the corrective action needs to be long term, then the delegation should be delayed until that process is complete.

Agree Responsibilities, Levels Of Authority, And Objectives, by: identifying delegated responsibilities and levels of authority for each individual manager, specialist, and team; discussing these with the individual managers and specialists; agreeing the degree of delegation; agreeing the objectives delegated to the individual. One of the most critical stages, this is where the details of the delegated responsibility and authority are explained, discussed and agreed. It is at this point that the leader(s) should aim to gain commitment to the delegated responsibilities and authority, to targets and deadlines, both qualitative and quantitative.

Clarifying The Boundaries, by: defining the limits, the boundaries, of the delegated powers; discussing and agreeing these boundaries; agreeing action that should be taken when the boundaries are reached. This must be treated as a separate stage in the process, and applies to both the leader and the manager being given delegated powers. The leader must understand and accept that delegation does not mean abandoning responsibility. The ultimate responsibility lies with the leader, the one delegating to others. Delegated powers must be managed and supported by the leader. The individual being given delegated powers must be clear about the limits of those powers, and understand that when that boundary, that limit, is reached, they should refer back to the one who delegated to them.

Remove Or Reduce Barriers To Effective Delegation, by: identifying organisational policies, procedures, structures, practices, or cultural aspects, which work against effective delegation; discuss ways in which barriers could be weakened or removed; implement changes or adjustments to reduce or eliminate identified barriers. Most organisations have visible and hidden barriers that inhibit and hinder effective management. The role of the leader(s) is to introduce direction, strategies, structures, policies, procedures, and influences, into the organisation, so that managers and specialists can operate in a culture which encourages creativity, innovation, high quality performance, and success. In parallel with this, the leader(s) must also encourage managers and specialists to take local responsibility for activities and decision making. To do this, barriers and constraints must be reduced to a minimum, leaving an appropriate level of controls in place.

Provide Support For Delegated Activity, by: discussing and agreeing the level and nature of support needed; adopting a leadership style that provides appropriate availability, support and guidance to those with delegated responsibilities, but also allowing them the freedom to carry out the delegated powers without unnecessary interference; reviewing levels of personal support and adjusting that support appropriately; consistently behaving in a manner that inspires and motivates those who have been delegated to. There are two most common reasons for delegation to fail. One is that the analytical and decision making process was not thorough enough, leading to the degree of delegation being inappropriate. However, the other most common reason for failure is that the leader delegates and then does not provide appropriate support to the manager being delegated to. Once the leader has delegated, they must then provide an appropriate level of personal support, encouragement, and resources, to the individual. This support should include: publicising the delegated powers to relevant individuals and teams internally; informing other stakeholders such as suppliers, customers, clients, of the delegated powers; coaching, mentoring, providing training, as appropriate.

Reward Performance, by: openly praising consistently high quality operational performance and exceptional event performance; building performance on delegated powers into the organisation’s performance appraisal system. An important part of the process because delegated powers are, by default, in the highest group of demands made on the individual, and when performed well, are deserving of recognition and praise. Rewards do not have to be substantial, nor monetary in nature. Recognition and praise will be appreciated by the receiving individual and by their teams and other observers. The leader who delegated the powers must ensure that, when appropriate, high levels of performance in delegated areas, are achieved.

Monitor, Review, And Adjust, by: implementing regular reviews of the delegation process and of individual instances; reviewing the appropriateness of current and planned delegation, against the most current strategic objectives; taking corrective action where necessary. The leader(s) delegating powers to others should implement a monitoring and review process that requires them to review the whole process, and individual performance. Individual performance should be monitored continuously, with formal review points at least quarterly. The overall process should be reviewed at least every six months, at which point the success of the process should be evaluated against the original objectives and then adjusted to take into account changes in operational activity and in strategic direction.

In Summary: Leaders must delegate, but must delegate effectively. The most successful leaders treat delegation as an essential strand of their leadership approach. Senior management structures, processes, and objectives are reviewed to ensure suitability for delegation to take place. Areas of work, activities, routine and event-specific decisions, are analysed, evaluated, and where appropriate the decision is made to delegate responsibility and authority. Delegated powers are explained, discussed, and agreed, and measurable objectives set. The leader then builds on this by adopting a consultative, supporting, coaching, role, as appropriate for each of the individuals delegated to. Individual performance on applying delegated powers is monitored and adjusted as necessary. Finally, the performance of the delegation process itself is monitored and reviewed by the leader(s) and the senior management team, to ensure that it remains compatible with the strategic direction being taken by the organisation.

Leadership Skills: Managing Meetings

By: CJ Williams

Analyse Strategic Level Meetings Needs, by: considering the strategic direction and objectives, and senior level operational objectives; identifying an appropriate structure of meetings to satisfy the communication and decision making needs in these areas. Evaluate The Current Meetings Structure, by: analysing the current structure and format of senior level meetings: identifying and evaluating the frequency, format, attendance, and outcomes of current meetings; comparing these findings with the needs identified in the previous stage. These two stages are critical. In all areas, and at all levels, leaders of organisations must not allow the status quo to remain in place without regular and rigorous evaluation against current and forecast objectives. The same is true of senior level meetings. The attendance, format, frequency, and outcomes must be regularly evaluated to ensure that they meet the needs of the current strategic direction and objectives.

Establish Agreed Meetings Structure, by: informing and discussing proposed changes with all senior level stakeholders; agreeing and implementing the revised or new structure; providing training for new roles and approaches, where necessary. Changing the existing framework and format of senior level meetings will inevitably cause some disruption and possibly some conflict. However, it is essential that the organisation has structures and processes in place, at all levels, and in all areas of activity, that support and contribute to the strategic direction taken by the organisation. Meetings are a key part of the communication, information management, and decision making processes, and must therefore be shaped and managed to meet the needs of these functions. Any difficulties that change in this area brings, must be dealt with and overcome.

Planning for meetings for the leader, by: discussing and agreeing with colleagues, when appropriate, the purpose of the meeting; deciding on the purpose of the meeting; setting clear and precise objectives, as outcomes of the meeting; deciding on who should attend, though this might be a by-default list it is still necessary to review this regularly; set an appropriate date, time, and place for the meeting,again a default may apply, but should be reviewed regularly; issue an agenda to all participants and to all other stakeholders; issue supporting information in time for participants to become familiar with it; arrange pre-meeting discussions where necessary; ensure that necessary administrative arrangements will be made; complete personal participation preparation. Planning for meetings for the participants, by: ensuring that all participants are made aware of their obligations to prepare professionally for the meeting; ensuring that participants are provided with all necessary information to enable them to contribute to the meeting effectively; arranging for pre-meeting discussions with participants with particular concerns or needs regarding the meeting; adjusting the agenda to take into account legitimate specific needs of individual participants. In ensuring that each individual meeting is effective, planning is the most important stage. As with all key activities, appropriate preparation is the key to success. Even regularly scheduled meetings should be prepared for in the manner described above. The most common reason for regular meetings losing their credibility and influence is that each meeting is not given sufficient individual attention. The purpose, the desired outcomes, attendees, format, frequency, timing, location, should all be reviewed regularly. The leader must ensure that each meeting is managed professionally and that its purpose is not diluted by lack of preparation, not on the part of the leader, or chairperson, nor on the part of any of the attendees.

Chairing Meetings Effectively, by: being fully prepared, as described above; arriving in advance to oversee final preparations; welcoming participants as they arrive; starting the meeting at the agreed time; introducing new participants; summarising the format of the meeting; reiterating the purpose of the meeting; reiterating the agenda; shaping and controlling the nature and direction of discussion on each agenda item; ensuring that each participant is encouraged to contribute appropriately; remaining as objective as possible; summarising progress and decisions, at appropriate intervals; managing the time spent on each agenda item and overall; reviewing key discussion points and decisions made; confirming individual and collective follow-up actions; thanking participants for their contributions; reminding participants of the next scheduled meeting; formally close the meeting. When taking the role of Chair, the leader is highly visible, and the way in which they manage the meeting will be judged by the participants and add to or detract from their opinion of the leader’s capabilities. For this reason, the leader must ensure that when they personally chair meetings, they do this in a professional, firm but fair manner. Although some would argue that the Chair of a meeting should remain unbiased and act purely as a facilitator, this is not possible when the Chair is also the leader, or one of the leaders, of the organisation. Nevertheless, when acting as Chair, the leader should make every effort to facilitate effectively, whilst also presenting their own views when appropriate. A difficult role, but one that must be carried out well.

Follow Up Effectively, by: ensuring that all key discussion points, issues raised, decisions made, actions agreed, are recorded accurately; distributing the minutes of the meetings to participants; requesting action plans from participants who have agreed to take follow up actions; monitoring the progress on follow up actions; obtaining feedback from participants on their view of the effectiveness of the meeting; adjusting the approach to future meetings as necessary.

In Summary: although managing meetings at a senior level can appear to be technically straightforward, these meetings play a critical role in the strategic level communication process, and if ineffective will seriously damage the quality of this activity. In addition, poorly managed meetings can damage relationships between the leader(s) and the team and between team members. The objective of senior management meetings are to inform, discuss, make and confirm support for decisions, and agree continuing support for, or changes to, the strategic direction of the organisation. The role of the leader is to ensure that these meetings are planned and managed effectively, are productive in terms of outcomes, and contribute to maintaining the quality of communications at the senior level.

Leadership Training: How to Motivate & Increase Your Employees' WANT-TO-COOPERATE Factor

By: Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman

Are you a leader trying to get your coworkers to change?

Then you need to be aware of a basic motivational, psychological truth.

People only change when they WANT to.

It's like the little prospector who walked into a saloon, wearing clean new shoes. A big Texan said to his friend standing at the bar, "Watch me make this dude dance." He walked over to the prospector and asked, "You're a foreigner, aren't you? From the East?"

"You might say that," the little prospector answered. "I'm from Boston, and I'm here prospecting for gold."

"Now tell me something. Can you dance?"

"No sir. I never did learn to dance."

"Well, I'm going to teach you. You'll be surprised how quickly you can learn."

With that, the Texan took out his gun and started shooting at the prospector's feet. Hopping, skipping, jumping, the little prospector was shaking like a leaf.

About an hour later the Texan left the saloon. As soon as he stepped outside the door, he heard a click. He looked around and there, four feet from his head, was a shotgun in the hands of the little prospector.

The prospector said, "Mr. Texan, have you ever kissed a mule?"
"No," said the quick-thinking Texan, "but I've always wanted to."

Obviously, the prospector knew how to pump up the Texan's WANT-TO cooperation factor. So what can you do to increase your employees' "WANT-TO" factor?

Leadership and Motivation Training Strategy # 1: Ask brave questions.
If you're not interested in your employees, you can't expect them to be interested in you and your organizational goals. But if you show a real interest, they'll move in your direction. As Dale Carnegie said, "You can make more friends in two weeks by showing interest in others than you can in two years trying to get others interested in you."

One of the best ways to show interest is to ask more "Brave Questions." Ask your employees:


* What's most important to you when it comes to your job, your family, your goals, or your future?
* If you were leading this team, what changes would you make?
* What turns on your motivation, more than anything else?



Remember, superficiality does not communicate genuine interest or pump up another person's WANT-To factor. You've got to really care about the other person, and that comes through when you ask Brave Questions.

Leadership and Motivation Strategy # 2: Be likeable.

Simply put, people tend to follow people they like. And the more your employees like you, the more you pump up their WANT-TO factor.

Direct sales organizations have tapped into this principle with great success. Just think about the selling power of the Mary Kay or Tastefully Simple organizations. The home-party attendees aren't being sold a product by some anonymous salesperson. They're buying a product from a friend they know, like, and trust.
So ask yourself...


* How likeable are you... really?
* Would you like to do business with a person who acts just like you?
* Do you use a warm, inviting tone and smile with ease? Or do you exhibit a hurried sense of impatience?
* Do you listen with undivided attention, or do you glance at your desk and computer screen while a coworker is talking?



Leadership & Motivation Strategy #3: Exhibit authority

Before people can have a healthy want-to-cooperate factor, they've got to trust you and your integrity. In fact, from my 25 years of speaking experience in the corporate world, I discovered one of the most sought-after job perks today is integrity.
Here's how you can exhibit your integrity and your authority...


* Let people know about your educational background, certifications, and legitimate titles, but let them know in subtle ways. No boasting, bragging, or arrogance. When your employees know these kinds of things about you, it increases their respect for what you say and what you are requesting.
* Refer to what other colleagues and customers have to say about your work. Again, be subtle. It's a known truth that others can brag about your performance whereas you can't and still be liked.
* Make a conscious effort to dress one or two levels above those you are trying to influence. If you dress higher than that, your employees may not think you can identify with them. And if you dress below your employees, they may not take you seriously.
* Dress in clothing styles and colors typically associated with authority like black, navy, or white. Research shows it does make a difference.



There's just one caution. You can't exhibit so much authority that people are afraid to challenge you. That would violate the second principle of "being likeable." And that does happen.

Do you want someone to change?

To follow you?

To be more cooperative?

Then it all starts when they WANT-TO. And they will WANT-TO... if you follow these three simple leadership and motivation training practices.

Leadership Strategies: How to Lead Your Organization through Thick and Thin & Achieve Your Goals

By: Richard Martin

World-class leaders have the personal resolve and willpower to create effective plans and the organization to implement their strategies. They energize their organizations through these plans. They act decisively. They assess and adjust their plans constantly on the basis of sound situational awareness and outer directed information gathering.

This level of adaptability depends on a few leadership strategies, techniques and principles. When you follow my advice below you will achieve success.

My Top 7 Leadership Strategies You Need to Lead Your Organization Under All Circumstances

1. Get clear on objectives and stick to them.

If you don't know your destination, you and your organization will meander aimlessly and enter storm-tossed seas.

Effective leaders know where they are and where they want to go. And, they stick to their aim.

2. Create robust plans.

Plans have three key benefits.


* Effective planning allows you and your team to delve into a situation beforehand
* Plans create a common language for everyone involved in the organization's mission.
* Plans tell you what needs to be done, by when, and with what resources.



3. Add flexibility to your organization.

The art of organization addresses "Who" and "How" in order to implement your plans. After the assignment of responsibilities and resources, teams and the organization as a whole must develop common processes. This ensures quality, consistency, and accountability. Plus, it will make it easier to determine the reasons for success and failure and how to correct your weaknesses.

4. Maintain situational awareness.

Most leaders focus on feeding an endless hunger for internal reports, rather than on markets, competitors and societal trends. When confronted with an information request, leaders should ask the following question: Does this request feed the internal information monster or will it contribute to a greater understanding of our environment and our clients?

If it's the former, then internal processes must be revised or eliminated.

If it's the latter, ask yourself if it confirms an existing belief about markets and competitors, or if it challenges it. Information that does not agree with widely held assumptions and beliefs should be scrutinized closely and given the highest value. The danger is in using information to confirm and rationalize what we already believe, instead of using it to confront a brutal reality head on.

5. Act, assess, and adjust.

Effective leaders act when they are 80 % ready. The final 20 % rarely contributes anything of value, since the situation and conditions it is designed to address will likely change anyway.

The effort and cost of attaining "perfection" in plans and organization is usually cost-prohibitive and not worth the additional investment. This doesn't mean leaders should blindly adhere to plans in the face of changing circumstances. The key is to act, assess the impact of actions, and then adjust the plans to get back on track.

Situational awareness plays a critical role in assessing and adjusting actions, but so does leadership.

6. Lead from the front.

It is in times of great change and confusion that world-class leaders truly earn their keep. Military commanders know that they can't command and lead their forces from the safety of their command post. The same applies to business and organizational leaders. This is leading from the front.

Leaders have to get down and dirty with the troops.

This doesn't mean you should be doing your subordinates' work.

However, you do have to get out and about. Ask questions. Probe responses. Question clients. Observe what is happening and why it is happening.

Then you can apply your judgment to the changing situation and be present to motivate employees and collaborators.

7. Maintain morale.

Morale is one of the most poorly understood organizational concepts today. The term originally comes from the military, where it denotes the willingness of forces to continue the fight until final victory, no matter what the circumstances.

This is powerful stuff.

Unfortunately, many business and organizational leaders talk about morale, but what they really mean is the mood of the organization. Think of the mood of the American people, and much of the Western world, in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. It was not rosy. People were both saddened and angered by the atrocity.

However, a majority in the U.S. as well as in many friendly countries rallied and decided that the time had come to do something about such attacks. Thus the War on Terror was born.

This example shows the clear distinction between social mood and national morale. They are clearly different, yet intricately linked. In the simplest of terms, whether your purpose is to fight a war or to introduce a new product to market, the only way to have the willpower and resolve to achieve your objectives is to maintain superb morale. Here's how...


* Recognize the nobility and value of your goal.
* Recognize the sacrifices and commitments of your people.
* Take care of your people.



Nothing undermines morale more quickly than uncertainty about one's own place in an organization, apathy, and uncaring superiors.

It is never too late to get a ship back on track or to reassess where you are in implementing your personal and organizational goals. Take the time to list your goals and then compare them to this list of principles. Begin changing your approaches immediately so you can become a more effective leader today.

A Leader’s Ultimate Goal - Connect to Engage!

By: richard gorham

It's been said many times that true leadership is measured by ones ability to motivate and influence others.

Leaders must work hard at motivating people to take action necessary to drive change and to ultimately increase results.

Even though most people would agree with the definition of leadership as the ability to motivate and influence others, most people still have trouble translating the definition of leadership into actionable and measurable steps.

The biggest obstacle faced by many leaders is simply figuring out how to effectively motivate and influence an entire team comprised of unique individuals.

Let's face it, not everyone is motivated by the same things, nor is everyone influenced to take action or change behavior based on the same factors.

So, what can leaders do to motivate and influence the ENTIRE team?

Here is the elusive one-word answer: CONNECT.

Leaders must invest the time in each and every one of their team members to, get to know them - to build a connection based on trust, honesty and respect. (Keep in mind, this personal connection must always remain professional and appropriate. Enough said on that.)

Taking this one step further, leaders must create opportunities for team members to connect.

This personal and professional connection will draw you and your team together, to work more effectively to improve efficiencies and increase production and profitability.

To help you envision the ultimate in a leader that successfully connects with his/her team members, let's look at a fictional example. Any "Trekies" out there? Don't flip the channel, this will be quick.

Even if "Star Trek" is not a TV favorite of yours, odds are you probably know enough about the long running series to appreciate our example.

Regardless of which Star Trek captain you visualize, all are terrific examples of leaders (albeit fictional) who have a unique connection to each and every member of the crew.

It's also obvious to the viewer that each team member has an unwavering allegiance to the team, the mission, and to his or her leader. (envision Captain YOU!)

Just imagine your own team having such a solid connection, both with you and with each other.

Picture you and your team facing exciting and challenging situations together, "Exploring strange new worlds!" and "Boldly going where no one has gone before!"

Maybe this means taking your team to the #1 spot in your company, and/or reaching new levels of efficiency and/or production!

The prospect of leading a team that is connected is exciting isn't it?

Ok, we've talked about connection and the importance of building a connected team. Next we see that connection is the key ingredient leaders must leverage in order to raise the level of employee engagement.

An employee that is engaged in their work will typically run circles around employees who are working simply by showing up and "going through the motions".

If an employee is engaged, it means that they feel they have a stake in the outcome - an honest desire to contribute to something greater than themselves, or even monetary gain.

The engaged employee has emotion tied to their work. Perhaps that emotion comes out of a sense of loyalty and connection to their leader or other team members.

Top leaders understand that in order to connect with their workforce, they need to leverage the power of emotion. Only by connecting with the individuals can a leader create a powerful team consisting of employees who are committed and engaged.

KEY MESSAGE: CONNECT TO ENGAGE!

Now that we now understand the concepts of connection and engagement, so let's get specific and share some examples of how a leader can achieve the connection that will inspire employee engagement:

1. Leaders must know up front where they are taking their team. They must "believe in" and "see a clear vision of the future". In order for you to know when you have achieved your vision, the vision must be measurable. Here are some examples of a vision with measurable results.

Showing most improvement quarter over quarter.

Achieving balanced performance - your team is listed in the Top 3 ranking in every key category.

Reaching the net income annual goal, or gaining market share over a key competitor!

2. Leaders must communicate their vision in a way that inspires others to "believe". Communicating change can be difficult.

Communicating a clear action plan that everyone can understand lessens anxiety. Change always creates opportunity. Turning the anxiety of change into excitement for opportunity should be the goal of the leader when communicating the new vision. Here are some examples:

Breakdown vision into individual goals so team members understand their roles and responsibilities.

Hold all team kick-off meeting to unveil overall vision and action plan. Add fun and excitement. Anticipate questions and be prepared to overcome any perceived barriers.

Implement tracking and regular progress reporting to keep team focused on achieving each step leading up to the ultimate goal.

3. Leaders must support, promote, inspire and motivate team members to realize the vision. Motivate team members by giving everyone an opportunity for personal gain, above and beyond their regular pay. For example:

Introduce a special incentive program. (This doesn't have to cost a lot of money.) Base awards on a percentage of "net" gain to the organization - not just one persons ability to achieve an individual goal.

Offer "interim" awards to key contributors once the team achieves mid-level goals.

Make a point of "celebrating" the small wins, which will ultimately lead to the BIG WIN! Use gift certificates, lottery tickets, recognition awards, etc - praise and recognize individual and team accomplishments along the way.

4. A team is only as strong as its weakest link. Leaders must hold team members accountable for their duties and responsibilities. This is only fair to those employees doing a great job. Hold accountable any team member who is not doing his/her fair share. In order to achieve great things, you must expect great things from your people. Consider these examples:

BE CONSISTENT in your counsel. Hold yourself accountable! Did you TEACH? Did you COACH? Only then can you EXPECT!

BE CONSISTENT in your counsel.
1st offense = verbal warning (ensure clarity of roles and responsibilities)

2nd offense = written warning (get signature for documentation)

3rd offense = final notice (employee must understand that you will support their choice to either improve immediately or to move on to a more rewarding opportunity.)

4th offense = termination

And finally, BE CONSISTENT in your counsel.

In wrapping up this conversation may we reiterate one last time - when you have succeeded in creating a team that is connected, you can count on each of them having a higher degree of personal engagement toward meeting the goals before them.

Still wondering if this connection thing is really that powerful of a concept? Real quick, think about the following examples of leaders who have connected with people on a broad scale, and the kinds of results that came from achieving such a powerful connection:

1. President Reagan - connected so effectively with the people of a foreign nation and around the world by effectively communicating the words "Tear down this wall!"

2. Boris Yeltsin - won support from people all across the globe as he stood on a tank and quite literally stared down the face of communism.

The final point here is that you do NOT need to be a world leader in order to be a great leader. Through the power of connection you can inspire a higher degree of employee engagement which will enable you and your team to achieve new levels of efficiency and production.

Enjoy the journey!

Leaders "Click It" Into Gear!

By: richard gorham

"Click It" Into Gear!

Have you ever wondered how two people can be in the same meeting, hear the same speaker communicate the same message - yet once the meeting is over, each person's perception of the event is totally different?

Why the different perception? How can one individual think the meeting was terrific and leave completely inspired and motivated, yet the other person walks away believing the total opposite?

Answer: "THE CLICK"! (More on this in a minute)

Picture yourself being told that your department is about to undergo a major downsizing. (Not a pretty picture, to be sure.) You are told that an announcement regarding large numbers of layoffs is eminent.

Shortly, you may be out of a job! (gasp!)

Stunned? Sure you are, and the choices you make in the immediate future may define your entire future.

NOW - is when you need to "CLICK IT" into gear.

Visualize "THE CLICK": Take your right hand and form a backwards "C" with your thumb and fingers. Keeping your hand in the backwards "C" position - hold your hand up to your right temple. Next, quickly make a forward snap of the wrist as you say out loud, "CLICK".

Did the light bulb just go on?

Leaders who understand the power of "The Click" - DO NOT become victims of circumstance. Rather, they identify the challenges and the opportunities which are presented to them at the moment - whatever the adversity.

We each have the ability to choose our outcome. We may not like the choices in front of us at the time - but at least we have the ability to choose our path.

One thing is for certain - doing nothing, ensures failure.

Consider these examples:
#1 Losing your job?

Initial Reactions: "Poor me. That's not fair! Those dirty rotten ba...uh.. scoundrels! Why me? My life is over!".. etc, etc.

OR,

(CLICK!) "Okay, this is interesting. I guess now I have the opportunity to do something totally different. I could allow myself to be scared, but I choose to be excited instead. Obviously, something greater is awaiting me just around the corner. I can't wait to get started!"

Question: Does the personal choice presented above sound crazy to you? If so, ask yourself this question - "What's my alternative choice?" Sure, you can become emotionally charged, react in anger or even allow yourself to sink into a deep depression. But what will that accomplish? Nothing constructive, that is for certain.

The better choice is to dip into your personal reserves and "be" your better self.

#2 Boss just told you your department isn't meeting expectations, and you are being placed on notice?

Initial Reactions: "He has always had it out for me. I'm next on the chopping block. It's a conspiracy! I'm going to report him to HR and the Corporate Ethics Line because I feel threatened!”..etc, etc.

OR,

(CLICK!) "Alright, my boss just told me exactly what he expects from me. I'm going to start immediately to address every issue he mentioned to show him that I understand what he expects and that I am committed to not letting he, or the company, down. I may not agree with everything he said, but I respect the position that he holds and it's my duty to support upper management and the company I work for. I can do this!"

As the preceding examples point out, "THE CLICK" is the result of asking yourself, "What is the most constructive way I can look at this situation, and what action steps must I immediately take to professionally address this issue?"

Bottom line: NEVER forget the power of "THE CLICK". NEVER allow yourself to be a victim of circumstance.

Instead, utilize this all-important tool to remain the master of your own destiny.

Don't be "affected" – choose to be EFFECTIVE.

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." - John Wooden

How to Create an Unlimited Belief for Success!

By: richard gorham
What's holding your team back from experiencing "breakout performance"?

It may be those Old beliefs and Personal Insecurities (aka: conceptual barriers)?

Conceptual barriers are the barriers that are right behind the eyes, DEEP within the brain. These beliefs were planted at a very young age and re-enforced over a long period of time - which is why they are so hard to "dislodge".

Use the following exercise to help your team members identify their limiting beliefs and feelings. Then explain how those beliefs and feelings directly impact (positively and negatively) their bottom-line results.

Before you proceed, keep the following quote in mind - it's a powerful reminder of why it is so important to complete sales management activities.

"Successful people DO, what unsuccessful people are not willing to do."

Four Steps to Overcome Conceptual Barriers:

Step One - Uncover Negative Self-Talk

Ask the employee to tell you what he or she enjoys least about each step of the sales management process. Follow up by asking how that particular aspect of the process makes the employee feel.

For example:

- Prospecting/Cold Calling - (feels like I am intruding)
- Asking for the Business - (feels like I am being pushy)
- Cross-Selling/Up-Selling - (feels like I am taking advantage)
- Assumptive Closing - (feels like I am being presumptuous)

Step Two - Identify Beliefs that are the root source of negative feelings toward sales management practices.

Remind the employee about those Old Beliefs that may be getting in the way of their progress in the sales management process:

- Don't talk to strangers
- It is impolite to talk about money
- Never interrupt important people
- Wait to be asked

Help the employee understand and be aware of why it is that they may feel the way they do.

Employees should understand that they feel the way they do for a reason. Once they understand this it can be much easier for them to make a decision to overcome their old belief(s).

Step Three - Turn Limiting Beliefs into Unlimited Possibility!

Illustrate the following to your employee so they can clearly see how their beliefs and feelings ultimately "pre-determine" their outcome.

On one hand:

Positive Beliefs » Positive Feelings » Actions » Positive Results

And on the other hand:

Limiting Beliefs » Negative Feelings » Inaction » Negative Results

So based on the preceding, it's obvious which hand offers the most value to your employee and the organization.

Step Four - CHOOSE a path together!

If an employee is unwilling to work to overcome conceptual barriers, then you should agree that a sales position is not the right fit.

You should either find a more suitable role for the person or part ways so he/she may pursue a more rewarding opportunity somewhere else.

Let's assume however that the employee seeks to overcome their conceptual barriers and is willing to take ownership of their plan for improvement.

As the leader, you have an important role to play in the process of your employee overcoming their limiting beliefs. You are responsible for supporting the employee in three key areas. Once again, they are:

- TEACH - lead by example, reinforce positive actions and behaviors

- COACH - help to improve technique, debrief progress, track results, and ensure employee stays on task

- EXPECT - inspect what you expect, hold yourself and your employee accountable for continued improvement and increased results

In conclusion, ask yourself the following questions:

Can you name one person who is a top performer that…

- believed he wouldn't be successful?
- feels she shouldn't be successful?
- does not take the actions necessary for her to become successful?

The answer to each question? "Of course not!" Right?

So by default we must agree that in order for anyone to be successful, he/she must understand what is holding him or her back.

She must be willing to work to overcome obstacles, and choose to proactively follow a corrective action plan.

Finally, she must "execute" the plan.

Through this process she will build new beliefs that will enable her to discard those old and harmful, limiting beliefs.

Magic In The Leadership Zone!

By: richard gorham
"Discipline is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable, procures success to the weak - and esteem to all."
- George Washington

In 2003 we lost one of our most famous and beloved actors - Jack Lemmon.

Jack was special for many reasons, but one thing about Jack Lemmon that most people aren't aware of is that he had a unique way in which he put himself into what he called his "magic zone".

Like many actors, what you see on the screen is many times surprisingly different than what you might experience if you met him/her on the street.

An actor's talent lies in their ability to persuade an audience to believe they are - well, whatever or whomever they want you to believe they are.

Jack Lemmon, immediately before he was to walk on stage or walk out of his and say out loud (but softly under his breath) - "It's Magic Time! "

Throughout his entire career he did this as a way of putting himself in his own "magic zone".
trailer onto a movie set, would purposefully stop - close his eyes, take a deep breath,
During your next staff meeting, take the time to share the concept of "the leadership zone". Consider leading your team through the following exercise to help them identify the high-leverage activities that will lead to maximum results - all so they too will experience the ultimate rewards of "living in the zone".

Identify on a flip chart 5-10 high-leverage activities, that if done continually will lead to maximum results.

List out on a separate piece of flip chart paper all the potential benefits of living in the zone. I.e., more money, security and a feeling of being in control, greater fulfillment, increased joy, increased market share, improved customer and employee retention, lower training costs, earlier retirement!, etc. Make the list as long as possible.

When the lists are complete, place the two lists side by side. Point to the "benefits" list and say to your team, "Folks, this is our motivation. We deserve all these things and more! And in order for us to experience these rewards we must..."

Then point to the high-leverage activity list... "LIVE HERE! This is where the rubber meets the road. These are the activities that will make the difference."

Help your team find their own MAGIC - In The Zone.

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
- Thomas A. Edison

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Leave It! Perceive It! Believe It! - The Power of Vision

"Dissatisfaction and discouragement are not caused by the absence of things, but the absence of vision."
- Anonymous

This article in for anyone who is currently unsure, unknowing, on-the-fence, and/or otherwise "searching" for the answer to whether or not he/she can be an effective leader.

The answer? Quite simply is: "Maybe" or "Maybe Not"!

No, we are not trying to be funny or in any way make light of the question.

The simple truth of the matter is this. Whether you think you can be an effective leader, OR you think you can't be - You Are Right!

Just take a moment and think about the original question. "Can I be an effective leader?" We challenge you to ask this question again, but in a slightly different way.

Rather than asking, "Can I ...?" - Instead ask: "WILL I be an effective leader?"

Asking the question this way, makes something very clear to the person asking the question. That "something" is that each of us has a choice to make as to what we want to be in any given moment. THE CHOICE IS OURS.

Vision in Leadership is very much about making choices. Leaders make choices everyday that affect many other people. Because of the responsibility and accountability that comes with leadership, a good leader makes choices based on strong principles and beliefs.

Choosing a specific path or vision for your team or your company, is done most effectively by following the L.P.B.-It method.

The title of this article is "L.