Friday 15 August 2008

9 Easy Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid In Conversation

These days, it seems all manner of people are constantly putting their foot in their mouth. How often have we heard the President, a politician, a movie star or a celebrity say something truly stupid on TV or in an interview? There are some simple steps you can take to avoid looking stupid in conversation.

1. Your appearance speaks volumes about you. If you're in an outfit that's hopelessly out of date or doesn't look good at all, many people will not take you seriously. Wearing Velcro sneakers, brown socks, plaid shorts, and a striped shirt are not going to impress anyone. Remember, first impressions are lasting impressions. If people see you as an idiot right from the get-to, it'll be an uphill battle to convince them otherwise.

2. Study proper English. You want to learn proper diction, and use it. Don't use improper words like "ain't" or expressions like "Whazz up?" You might sound current and hip, but you're not going to sound smart.

3. Consider your audience. If you're in a social setting with adults, speak in full and proper sentences, and don't use profanity or slang. On the other hand, if you're with children and/or teenagers, using words that are too big for them to follow can also lead to them seeing you as stupid.

4. How you behave. Flopping across the host's couch at a party, chewing with your mouth open, burping, farting, and picking your nose are all things that will lower people's opinion of you. Remember, body language communicates as much as your words. So, sit up straight, use proper etiquette, and follow the Golden Rule; treat other people the way you want them to treat you.

5. Stay current on the events of the world. If you start going on and on about how Hillary Clinton will be a great President, people are going to see you as very stupid. As Hillary has dropped out of the race, that would show you as being completely out of touch. That is, unless you're going to talk about a future presidential race. If that is the case, then make that clear.

6. Be sure you brain is "engaged" before you put your mouth in motion. That is, stop and think before you say something. If you blurt out what a great actress you think Paris Hilton is, people will question not only your intelligence, but your sanity as well! Unless you're surrounded by fellow Paris fans, think about who you are talking to, and ask yourself if saying that is going to come across as smart.

7. Stay focused on the conversation. If you stop in the middle of a sentence and change the subject of what you are talking about to something completely unrelated, people are going to see you as scatter-brained. Pay attention to what you and others are saying, and keep your statements on the topic of conversation.

8. Don't be crude and vulgar. If you make sexist or racist jokes and/or statements, use profanity in every sentence, people are going to see you as a stupid jerk, and rightly so. None of these things are signs of intelligence.

9. Finally, don't be insulting. If you're having a debate about politics, the economy etc. and someone makes a good point, don't respond by insulting them. To be so petty that you have to win every argument through whatever means you can is going to make people see you as quite foolish and stupid.

When you're talking to people, a key to not coming across as stupid has more to do with simple common sense than anything else. Think about how you look, how you act, and what you say and how you say it. Look at other people, and ask if you see them as smart. If not, why not? And then look to avoid making the same mistakes they did.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: communication skills

No comments: