10 Tips on Leading a Balanced Life - Revisted.

Part two of the summer re-runs of popular posts is this one about a balanced life. Like all the life hacks and tips I write about, these are things I strive towards. I never pretend to have it all figured out by any means.

As usual let me know what you think..
Allen

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
Balance is important. When one aspect of our life becomes too dominant we loose that balance and experience conflict and unhappiness. It’s not easy and sometimes it feels like a juggling match but if we develop some healthy habits it is possible to achieve balance in a relaxed and calm way. Don’t forget the amount of time you devote to each aspect of your life will undergo fluctuation. It’s all a matter of realizing the natural flow of life and giving the right amount of attention to all aspects of our day to day living. So here I present my own ten tips on leading a balanced life.

1) Go home from work on time.
You need to look after yourself. Contrary to what the current culture will tell you – we are not machines. You need a healthy balance between the time you spend at work and the time you spend outside the work place. You need to be constantly reminded that there is more to life than work. (Although there will be some times you might have to work late in case of emergencies but they should be the exceptions and not the norm.)

2) Don’t be a yes person.
This follows on from point number one. You will find it easier to go home on time when you don’t agree to every single thing that is asked of you. Your inbox will never be empty – only agree to things that you can manage and that do not interfere with point 1.

3) Go to bed and get up at the same time everyday.
Treat this as your foundation for a more balanced life. Creating a natural rhythm to your day will go a long way to creating balance in your life. You will feel more rested and grounded in reality and less overwhelmed by events that happen during the day.

4) Slow down.
Consciously slow down. Walk slower, drive slower, talk slower. Notice things as you walk. Notice the tree that you pass by each day on the way to work and how it changes color with the seasons. Notice the fresh smell of morning and feel the warm sunshine on your face during the day (or the rain pelting of your face if you live in Ireland) :). Become more aware and awake in general and take your time over your day. Practice some form of daily relaxation exercise such as meditation, yoga or progressive muscle relaxation. Slow down - it is not a race you know!

5) Don’t buy into the culture around you if you don’t want to.
24-7 News (mostly bad news), the pressures of work, the go go go of modern life – this is what the media likes to tell us about our culture. That is not MY culture. I don’t agree with it and I don’t buy it. I am a human being and unique with my own feelings and needs – I don’t have to buy into something if it violates my values.

6) Create your own sub-culture involving your friends and family.
Surround yourself with people you like and who like you back. Create you own subculture of activities. Leave the couch and TV and go out and meet people be it through reading groups, charity work, nature rambles and more!

7) Recognize you have the right to be healthier than those around you.
Again don’t buy into the bad habits of other people. If everyone else around you drink too much coffee – that doesn’t mean you have to. If your colleagues at work love to eat fried foods at lunch – that doesn’t mean you have to. If your peers don’t bother to exercise that doesn’t mean you have to. Look after yourself!

8) Do something meaningful with your spare time.
Volunteer and do something that suits your personality. Not everyone can have the qualities that are required to go visit and talk to the elderly for example. Find out what skills you have (everyone has them!) and see how you could use those skills to help others.

9) Let go of the need to buy the next big thing.
If you let go of the cravings to keep consuming and buying things you don’t need then you might not feel you have to work such long hours. Why do you need that car? Is it something you really NEED or just something you think would be nice to have. Don’t forget about all those items you bought and you thought they were great to begin with. You were feeling empty and you thought that this might make your life more exciting or make you feel a bit better. Then the novelty wears off and you have that empty feeling inside that you had before you bought it in the first place. Why do you feel you need to keep up with the neighbors? If they get a big 4 X 4 does that mean you have to? Ask yourself why you feel you have to do that?

10) Develop compassion, patience and tolerance for your fellow people.
Happiness comes from relationships you have with people. We are all very complicated and can have our negative aspects. Developing compassion, patience and tolerance for others will go a long way to having better relationships with people. Accepting how different we all are is the starting point the rest is up to you!

What methods for addressing balance in your life worked for you? Let me know by leaving a comment below!

Good luck,
Allen

10 Tips on Leading a Balanced Life - Revisted.

Part two of the summer re-runs of popular posts is this one about a balanced life. Like all the life hacks and tips I write about, these are things I strive towards. I never pretend to have it all figured out by any means.

As usual let me know what you think..
Allen

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
Balance is important. When one aspect of our life becomes too dominant we loose that balance and experience conflict and unhappiness. It’s not easy and sometimes it feels like a juggling match but if we develop some healthy habits it is possible to achieve balance in a relaxed and calm way. Don’t forget the amount of time you devote to each aspect of your life will undergo fluctuation. It’s all a matter of realizing the natural flow of life and giving the right amount of attention to all aspects of our day to day living. So here I present my own ten tips on leading a balanced life.

1) Go home from work on time.
You need to look after yourself. Contrary to what the current culture will tell you – we are not machines. You need a healthy balance between the time you spend at work and the time you spend outside the work place. You need to be constantly reminded that there is more to life than work. (Although there will be some times you might have to work late in case of emergencies but they should be the exceptions and not the norm.)

2) Don’t be a yes person.
This follows on from point number one. You will find it easier to go home on time when you don’t agree to every single thing that is asked of you. Your inbox will never be empty – only agree to things that you can manage and that do not interfere with point 1.

3) Go to bed and get up at the same time everyday.
Treat this as your foundation for a more balanced life. Creating a natural rhythm to your day will go a long way to creating balance in your life. You will feel more rested and grounded in reality and less overwhelmed by events that happen during the day.

4) Slow down.
Consciously slow down. Walk slower, drive slower, talk slower. Notice things as you walk. Notice the tree that you pass by each day on the way to work and how it changes color with the seasons. Notice the fresh smell of morning and feel the warm sunshine on your face during the day (or the rain pelting of your face if you live in Ireland) :). Become more aware and awake in general and take your time over your day. Practice some form of daily relaxation exercise such as meditation, yoga or progressive muscle relaxation. Slow down - it is not a race you know!

5) Don’t buy into the culture around you if you don’t want to.
24-7 News (mostly bad news), the pressures of work, the go go go of modern life – this is what the media likes to tell us about our culture. That is not MY culture. I don’t agree with it and I don’t buy it. I am a human being and unique with my own feelings and needs – I don’t have to buy into something if it violates my values.

6) Create your own sub-culture involving your friends and family.
Surround yourself with people you like and who like you back. Create you own subculture of activities. Leave the couch and TV and go out and meet people be it through reading groups, charity work, nature rambles and more!

7) Recognize you have the right to be healthier than those around you.
Again don’t buy into the bad habits of other people. If everyone else around you drink too much coffee – that doesn’t mean you have to. If your colleagues at work love to eat fried foods at lunch – that doesn’t mean you have to. If your peers don’t bother to exercise that doesn’t mean you have to. Look after yourself!

8) Do something meaningful with your spare time.
Volunteer and do something that suits your personality. Not everyone can have the qualities that are required to go visit and talk to the elderly for example. Find out what skills you have (everyone has them!) and see how you could use those skills to help others.

9) Let go of the need to buy the next big thing.
If you let go of the cravings to keep consuming and buying things you don’t need then you might not feel you have to work such long hours. Why do you need that car? Is it something you really NEED or just something you think would be nice to have. Don’t forget about all those items you bought and you thought they were great to begin with. You were feeling empty and you thought that this might make your life more exciting or make you feel a bit better. Then the novelty wears off and you have that empty feeling inside that you had before you bought it in the first place. Why do you feel you need to keep up with the neighbors? If they get a big 4 X 4 does that mean you have to? Ask yourself why you feel you have to do that?

10) Develop compassion, patience and tolerance for your fellow people.
Happiness comes from relationships you have with people. We are all very complicated and can have our negative aspects. Developing compassion, patience and tolerance for others will go a long way to having better relationships with people. Accepting how different we all are is the starting point the rest is up to you!

What methods for addressing balance in your life worked for you? Let me know by leaving a comment below!

Good luck,
Allen

Remember - Your Words Are Like Arrows...

When you are having a disagreement with a family member or friend its very easy to say something that YOU know will hurt them. Its like a weapon you use.

You don't REALLY mean it but you know that it will get to them.

You lash out.

Your hurt them.

I would compare letting these hurtful words loose to firing an arrow at the person. You can't take the words back - once you've shot them That's it. Its too late.

The arrow remains in the person causing pain.

You can't take it back once you have loosed the arrow.

Be careful in what you say to people you love. Think of your words like arrows. You can't take them back and undo the hurt they have caused. With this in mind you might not be so quick to lash out.

Remember - Your Words Are Like Arrows...

When you are having a disagreement with a family member or friend its very easy to say something that YOU know will hurt them. Its like a weapon you use.

You don't REALLY mean it but you know that it will get to them.

You lash out.

Your hurt them.

I would compare letting these hurtful words loose to firing an arrow at the person. You can't take the words back - once you've shot them That's it. Its too late.

The arrow remains in the person causing pain.

You can't take it back once you have loosed the arrow.

Be careful in what you say to people you love. Think of your words like arrows. You can't take them back and undo the hurt they have caused. With this in mind you might not be so quick to lash out.

We'll see - A lesson in Judging a Situation.

Do not be so quick to judge a situation as either good or bad. I have been out of action with a viral infection which I could judge as bad but on the other hand it has given me time for reflection. There now follows a parable about not judging. Enjoy!

Allen


A farmer once had a horse run away. His neighbors were quite sympathetic saying, "How awful for you."

He replied, "We'll see."

His son went to find the horse and came back triumphantly riding the somewhat agitated steed. The neighbors joyfully exclaimed, "What joy; your horse has been found!"

The farmer calmly said, We'll see."

The farmer's son took it upon himself to break and train the temperamental horse and a few days passed. One morning, the son was thrown from the horse and broke his leg. It required setting and binding and he could not work on his father's farm in his condition.

The neighbors sadly pronounced, "How unfortunate for you: you will not have your son's help around the farm for several weeks. What a catastrophe!"

The farmer replied, "We'll see."

But one neighbor retorted, "How can you be so flippant about your son's predicament? I know for a fact that you will have to work late into the night to get all the chores done without his help. You may be in denial, but you DO have a serious problem!"

The farmer quietly said, "We'll see."

The following day, the emperor's guard arrived. They came because the Emperor decided it was time for military conscription. All elligible men would be drafted to go fight in the Emperor's latest border war. Because of his broken leg, the farmer's son was not carried off by the army. Because his horse was too unsettled, it was not conscripted. And because he had no horse or son to help him feed the rest of his family he was left to tend to his farm.

We'll see - A lesson in Judging a Situation.

Do not be so quick to judge a situation as either good or bad. I have been out of action with a viral infection which I could judge as bad but on the other hand it has given me time for reflection. There now follows a parable about not judging. Enjoy!

Allen


A farmer once had a horse run away. His neighbors were quite sympathetic saying, "How awful for you."

He replied, "We'll see."

His son went to find the horse and came back triumphantly riding the somewhat agitated steed. The neighbors joyfully exclaimed, "What joy; your horse has been found!"

The farmer calmly said, We'll see."

The farmer's son took it upon himself to break and train the temperamental horse and a few days passed. One morning, the son was thrown from the horse and broke his leg. It required setting and binding and he could not work on his father's farm in his condition.

The neighbors sadly pronounced, "How unfortunate for you: you will not have your son's help around the farm for several weeks. What a catastrophe!"

The farmer replied, "We'll see."

But one neighbor retorted, "How can you be so flippant about your son's predicament? I know for a fact that you will have to work late into the night to get all the chores done without his help. You may be in denial, but you DO have a serious problem!"

The farmer quietly said, "We'll see."

The following day, the emperor's guard arrived. They came because the Emperor decided it was time for military conscription. All elligible men would be drafted to go fight in the Emperor's latest border war. Because of his broken leg, the farmer's son was not carried off by the army. Because his horse was too unsettled, it was not conscripted. And because he had no horse or son to help him feed the rest of his family he was left to tend to his farm.

Top 5 Reasons Why Pencils are Environmentally Friendly

Tom Hodkinson wrote an article in the recent "Idler" about how using a pencil is environmentally friendly. It made me think and here are the reasons why I think a pencil is kinder to the environment than a pen.

1) All of the pencil is used.

Think about it. All the lead gets transferred to the paper in the form of writing and the wooden pencil sharpenings can be re-cycled or gathered together and dumped on the compost heap.

2) No plastic.

It is made of wood. The production of pencils can be sustainable by planting more trees. The "lead" in a pencil is not infact lead but finely ground graphite and clay powders. Although graphite is a mined ore and therefore a limited resource I believe that the enviromental impact of a pencil must still be a great deal less than a pen. I have never heard of a pencil tanker sinking in the ocean causing untold levels of pollution.

3) You can erase it.

Thus you will use less paper. No need for white out either.

4) It wont break.

Well the lead might break on you but all you need to do is sharpen it again. A pen's mechanics can break or the ink cartridge might burst. If a pen does burst it could ruin your shirt and thus cause more waste.

5) If you buy a non painted pencil then no colours used in the making of the pencil. Its all natural. A bit of wood and some graphite!

What do yo think? Do you think we should all be taking notes in pencil?

Top 5 Reasons Why Pencils are Environmentally Friendly

Tom Hodkinson wrote an article in the recent "Idler" about how using a pencil is environmentally friendly. It made me think and here are the reasons why I think a pencil is kinder to the environment than a pen.

1) All of the pencil is used.

Think about it. All the lead gets transferred to the paper in the form of writing and the wooden pencil sharpenings can be re-cycled or gathered together and dumped on the compost heap.

2) No plastic.

It is made of wood. The production of pencils can be sustainable by planting more trees. The "lead" in a pencil is not infact lead but finely ground graphite and clay powders. Although graphite is a mined ore and therefore a limited resource I believe that the enviromental impact of a pencil must still be a great deal less than a pen. I have never heard of a pencil tanker sinking in the ocean causing untold levels of pollution.

3) You can erase it.

Thus you will use less paper. No need for white out either.

4) It wont break.

Well the lead might break on you but all you need to do is sharpen it again. A pen's mechanics can break or the ink cartridge might burst. If a pen does burst it could ruin your shirt and thus cause more waste.

5) If you buy a non painted pencil then no colours used in the making of the pencil. Its all natural. A bit of wood and some graphite!

What do yo think? Do you think we should all be taking notes in pencil?

Self Created Obstacles to Change and How to Get Over Them.

When trying to develop or change yourself for the better, sometimes you find yourself with obstacles in your way. Now here is the thing. Some of those obstacles may have been put there by yourself. At least, that is what I have found.

So what reasons do we have for putting obstacles in our own way when it comes to changing ourselves? Well here are three reasons that I think are important to address when it comes to obstacles and personal change.

1) Secondary gains for staying the way we are.
Perhaps we get something from the way we are today - even though we think we want to change. Let us look an example. John has agoraphobia. It has developed over a period of time and now he is house bound. His wife loves him very much and she hates to see him this way and cares for him during his illness. John wants to change but at the same time doesn't do the anything to help himself change. He doesn't even try. A psychologist might say that John enjoys the attention he gets from having this condition or he enjoys being mothered and looked after. In psychology, this is called a secondary gain.

Do you have any secondary gains preventing you changing for the better? Ask yourself what is more important to you? Is this change worth more to you than the secondary gains?

2) You have a fear of failure.
Again let us use an example to help describe this self created obstacle. Peter hates his job. He feels lonely, isolated and the people he works with seem to be all self-serving rats in a rat race. Despite all this, his job is relatively secure and well paid. He has a family to provide for and a mortgage to pay. He feels secure. As time goes by his mental health begins to suffer - he starts to feel depressed and he has more arguments with his spouse. Yet he is afraid to change job. He is afraid of the unknown. He thinks the worst might happen i.e. that if he goes to another company he will not be able to do his job as well and he will get fired, he will loose his home and everything he ever worked for. He feels trapped.

Living under the burden of fear is a terrible thing but it is a very easy state to find yourself in. Especially in today's society. Ask yourself if fear is stopping you from changing for the better. Ask yourself - is your mental health suffering from staying where you are now? Look at past experiences of change in your life - the last time you changed job, was it really that bad?

3) You are letting perfectionism stop you from action.
Are you waiting for the right moment to change? Are you waiting for the right conditions to change? Do you want to be able to do these new things perfectly and don't want to start doing them until you feel you can do them perfectly? Remember things don't have to be perfect for you to change NOW. Are you telling yourself "I will change job when I feel more settled in my home?" or "I want my C.V. to be perfect before applying for my DREAM job!" then you discover these PERFECT times never come and you have missed your opportunities? Stop and ask yourself has perfectionism stopped YOU from progressing.


SOLUTION:
How do you know if I am putting obstacles in my way? Well you ANALYSE, ANALYSE, ANALYSE your thoughts and motivations! Here is how:

- Question your motives for NOT changing.
- What are your motives FOR changing?
- List out your life priorities. Take your time and work out what is important for you in this life and what you want to change?
- List out what things you have done right to reach your goals.
- Ask yourself WHY you haven't changed? Pretend your are being interviewed by a hard hitting newsperson. Write out how the dialogue might go between you and the journalist. How would they question your answers?
- After the imaginary journalist has finished with you - do you have any valid reasons left for not changing?

The main theme behind all this questioning is being honest with yourself. You may be surprised by how many obstacles YOU are putting in your way and once you realise this - it will become much easier to LEAP OVER THEM!

Good Luck,
Allen

Self Created Obstacles to Change and How to Get Over Them.

When trying to develop or change yourself for the better, sometimes you find yourself with obstacles in your way. Now here is the thing. Some of those obstacles may have been put there by yourself. At least, that is what I have found.

So what reasons do we have for putting obstacles in our own way when it comes to changing ourselves? Well here are three reasons that I think are important to address when it comes to obstacles and personal change.

1) Secondary gains for staying the way we are.
Perhaps we get something from the way we are today - even though we think we want to change. Let us look an example. John has agoraphobia. It has developed over a period of time and now he is house bound. His wife loves him very much and she hates to see him this way and cares for him during his illness. John wants to change but at the same time doesn't do the anything to help himself change. He doesn't even try. A psychologist might say that John enjoys the attention he gets from having this condition or he enjoys being mothered and looked after. In psychology, this is called a secondary gain.

Do you have any secondary gains preventing you changing for the better? Ask yourself what is more important to you? Is this change worth more to you than the secondary gains?

2) You have a fear of failure.
Again let us use an example to help describe this self created obstacle. Peter hates his job. He feels lonely, isolated and the people he works with seem to be all self-serving rats in a rat race. Despite all this, his job is relatively secure and well paid. He has a family to provide for and a mortgage to pay. He feels secure. As time goes by his mental health begins to suffer - he starts to feel depressed and he has more arguments with his spouse. Yet he is afraid to change job. He is afraid of the unknown. He thinks the worst might happen i.e. that if he goes to another company he will not be able to do his job as well and he will get fired, he will loose his home and everything he ever worked for. He feels trapped.

Living under the burden of fear is a terrible thing but it is a very easy state to find yourself in. Especially in today's society. Ask yourself if fear is stopping you from changing for the better. Ask yourself - is your mental health suffering from staying where you are now? Look at past experiences of change in your life - the last time you changed job, was it really that bad?

3) You are letting perfectionism stop you from action.
Are you waiting for the right moment to change? Are you waiting for the right conditions to change? Do you want to be able to do these new things perfectly and don't want to start doing them until you feel you can do them perfectly? Remember things don't have to be perfect for you to change NOW. Are you telling yourself "I will change job when I feel more settled in my home?" or "I want my C.V. to be perfect before applying for my DREAM job!" then you discover these PERFECT times never come and you have missed your opportunities? Stop and ask yourself has perfectionism stopped YOU from progressing.


SOLUTION:
How do you know if I am putting obstacles in my way? Well you ANALYSE, ANALYSE, ANALYSE your thoughts and motivations! Here is how:

- Question your motives for NOT changing.
- What are your motives FOR changing?
- List out your life priorities. Take your time and work out what is important for you in this life and what you want to change?
- List out what things you have done right to reach your goals.
- Ask yourself WHY you haven't changed? Pretend your are being interviewed by a hard hitting newsperson. Write out how the dialogue might go between you and the journalist. How would they question your answers?
- After the imaginary journalist has finished with you - do you have any valid reasons left for not changing?

The main theme behind all this questioning is being honest with yourself. You may be surprised by how many obstacles YOU are putting in your way and once you realise this - it will become much easier to LEAP OVER THEM!

Good Luck,
Allen

Don't throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater when it comes to having a Spiritual life...

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
Don't throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater when it comes to having a Spiritual life...

Consider this song:

Artist: George Harrison
Album: Concert For Bangla Desh/all Things Must Pass
Title: Awaiting On You All


You don't need no love in
You don't need no bed pan
You don't need a horoscope or a microscope
The see the mess that you're in
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been polluted so long
Now here's a way for you to get clean

By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

You don't need no passport
And you don't need no visas
You don't need to designate or to emigrate
Before you can see Jesus
If you open up your heart
You'll see he's right there
Always was and will be
He'll relieve you of your cares

By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

You don't need no church house
And you don't need no temple
You don't need no rosary beads or them books to read
To see that you have fallen
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been kept down so long
Someone's thinking that we're all green

And while the pope owns 51% of general motors
And the stock exchange is the only thing he's qualified to quote us
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free



I believe a lot of people have lost their way today. They have their energies invested in meaningless activities and try and numb the pain of this with drink, drugs, consumerism and following the lives of so called celebs.

>You don't need to designate or to emigrate
> Before you can see Jesus

Interesting how he mentions Jesus in this song although he was a devout Hindu… I think that if people followed the teaching of Jesus and not the dogmas set by the man made church institutions then people might be happier. I am not saying happiness cannot be found in other religions but I use this example as it the religious framework I am familiar with.

People have thrown the baby out with the bathwater in my humble opinion. They have turned their backs on "the church" but they have also turned their backs on a spiritual life. It also seems to me the people with the loudest voices are the fundamentalists

If one takes a belief in God as a given then we are all children of God. We are all the same.

I grew up in a Christian family so I am using Christianity as the example I am most familiar with. I believe the worlds major religions are like different paths on a road that lead to the same destination.

So let us look at Christianity...

Jesus' wisdom teaching points to the world of conventional wisdom as a world of blindness. His aphorisms and parables invite us to see differently.

The theologian Marcus Borg tries to show us this e.g.

C:Conventional wisdom
J:Jesus' alternative wisdom

C:God is punitive lawgiver and judge
J:God is gracious

C:A person's worth is determined by measuring up to social standards
J:All persons have infinite worth as a children of God

C:Sinners and outcasts are to be avoided and rejected
J:Everyone is welcome around the table and in the kingdom of God

C:Identity comes from social tradition
J:Identity comes from centring in the sacred, from relationship with God

C:Strive to be first
J:The first shall be last...; those who exalt themselves will be emptied...

C:Preserve one's own life above all
J:The path of dying to self and being reborn leads to life abundant

C:Fruit of striving is reward
J:Fruit of centring in God is compassion


The pre-crucified Jesus was a social profit, healer and He tried to teach an alternative wisdom. He got on the wrong side of the authorities of the day and was crucified for it but his spirit lived on. You can look on this as the metaphysical spirit or the spirit of His teachings. The post Easter Jesus is something different.

Christian experience is born in the Easter experience.

Easter does not have to include something happening to Jesus' body.

The foundational meaning of Easter is that Jesus' followers experienced his continuing presence as a living reality.

An empty tomb is one way to talk about that experience.

The community speaks of Jesus as:

Light of the world

Bread of life

Messiah

The way, the truth, the life

The only way

These are images/metaphors people used to describe their experience of Jesus.

They are profoundly true though not literally true.

Jesus did not speak of himself in these ways.

They are vivid testimony about how the community experienced and thought about Jesus.

The post-Easter Jesus can also be the word, light, and bread, of God for us.

For more see http://www.united.edu/portrait/index.shtml

Anyway my long rambling point is this. George Harrison's music seems to show that the quiet Beatle had a healthy attitude to spirituality and he recognised the subversive message in following a spiritual life. A spiritual life can reward you with a life of meaning although its not really about what you can "get" for yourself in my humble opinion. I grew up in Northern Ireland and this could put you of religion for life! I constantly remind myself that if there is a God or higher power then He/She is much larger than our limited minds can comprehend and that the religion is a human reaction to this mystery.

So try not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you have given up on religion don't give up on having a spiritual life.



Good Luck!

Allen

Don't throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater when it comes to having a Spiritual life...

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
Don't throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater when it comes to having a Spiritual life...

Consider this song:

Artist: George Harrison
Album: Concert For Bangla Desh/all Things Must Pass
Title: Awaiting On You All


You don't need no love in
You don't need no bed pan
You don't need a horoscope or a microscope
The see the mess that you're in
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been polluted so long
Now here's a way for you to get clean

By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

You don't need no passport
And you don't need no visas
You don't need to designate or to emigrate
Before you can see Jesus
If you open up your heart
You'll see he's right there
Always was and will be
He'll relieve you of your cares

By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

You don't need no church house
And you don't need no temple
You don't need no rosary beads or them books to read
To see that you have fallen
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been kept down so long
Someone's thinking that we're all green

And while the pope owns 51% of general motors
And the stock exchange is the only thing he's qualified to quote us
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free



I believe a lot of people have lost their way today. They have their energies invested in meaningless activities and try and numb the pain of this with drink, drugs, consumerism and following the lives of so called celebs.

>You don't need to designate or to emigrate
> Before you can see Jesus

Interesting how he mentions Jesus in this song although he was a devout Hindu… I think that if people followed the teaching of Jesus and not the dogmas set by the man made church institutions then people might be happier. I am not saying happiness cannot be found in other religions but I use this example as it the religious framework I am familiar with.

People have thrown the baby out with the bathwater in my humble opinion. They have turned their backs on "the church" but they have also turned their backs on a spiritual life. It also seems to me the people with the loudest voices are the fundamentalists

If one takes a belief in God as a given then we are all children of God. We are all the same.

I grew up in a Christian family so I am using Christianity as the example I am most familiar with. I believe the worlds major religions are like different paths on a road that lead to the same destination.

So let us look at Christianity...

Jesus' wisdom teaching points to the world of conventional wisdom as a world of blindness. His aphorisms and parables invite us to see differently.

The theologian Marcus Borg tries to show us this e.g.

C:Conventional wisdom
J:Jesus' alternative wisdom

C:God is punitive lawgiver and judge
J:God is gracious

C:A person's worth is determined by measuring up to social standards
J:All persons have infinite worth as a children of God

C:Sinners and outcasts are to be avoided and rejected
J:Everyone is welcome around the table and in the kingdom of God

C:Identity comes from social tradition
J:Identity comes from centring in the sacred, from relationship with God

C:Strive to be first
J:The first shall be last...; those who exalt themselves will be emptied...

C:Preserve one's own life above all
J:The path of dying to self and being reborn leads to life abundant

C:Fruit of striving is reward
J:Fruit of centring in God is compassion


The pre-crucified Jesus was a social profit, healer and He tried to teach an alternative wisdom. He got on the wrong side of the authorities of the day and was crucified for it but his spirit lived on. You can look on this as the metaphysical spirit or the spirit of His teachings. The post Easter Jesus is something different.

Christian experience is born in the Easter experience.

Easter does not have to include something happening to Jesus' body.

The foundational meaning of Easter is that Jesus' followers experienced his continuing presence as a living reality.

An empty tomb is one way to talk about that experience.

The community speaks of Jesus as:

Light of the world

Bread of life

Messiah

The way, the truth, the life

The only way

These are images/metaphors people used to describe their experience of Jesus.

They are profoundly true though not literally true.

Jesus did not speak of himself in these ways.

They are vivid testimony about how the community experienced and thought about Jesus.

The post-Easter Jesus can also be the word, light, and bread, of God for us.

For more see http://www.united.edu/portrait/index.shtml

Anyway my long rambling point is this. George Harrison's music seems to show that the quiet Beatle had a healthy attitude to spirituality and he recognised the subversive message in following a spiritual life. A spiritual life can reward you with a life of meaning although its not really about what you can "get" for yourself in my humble opinion. I grew up in Northern Ireland and this could put you of religion for life! I constantly remind myself that if there is a God or higher power then He/She is much larger than our limited minds can comprehend and that the religion is a human reaction to this mystery.

So try not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you have given up on religion don't give up on having a spiritual life.



Good Luck!

Allen

How To Stop All or Nothing Thinking - Speak in E-Prime

Hi there,

Many people find all or nothing thinking - also known as binary thinking - a common issue when dealing with cognitive distortions.

I have noted that many people find that speaking in E-Prime may reduce the tendency to label situations and people into certain categories.

From Wikipedia:

E- Prime attempts to remove the verb “to be” in all its forms from English: be, is, am, are, was, were, been and being, plus all the contractions. This has the tactical effect of eliminating the passive voice. According to proponents, it forces the writer (or speaker) to think differently, and often results in language that most people find easier to read. Some call E-Prime a variant of the English language, while others approach it like a mental discipline to filter their own speech and translate the speech of others. For example, the grammatical construct changes “The movie was good.” to “I liked the movie.” Telling someone “the movie was good” imparts the state of goodness to the movie, rather than communicating the subjective nature of one's experience of the movie.


E-Prime forces a writer to choose verbs and meanings carefully: the elimination of "to be" implicitly eliminates the passive voice and progressive aspect. Some defective verbs, such as "can", use paraphrases involving "to be" in some tenses and moods. This constraint alone accounts for much of the appeal of E-Prime to some of its advocates, since many stylists argue that such constructions occur too frequently in sloppy English writing. Of course it may also generate difficulties for some writers as they learn to use E-Prime.


An example of how E-Prime might work.

So the short poem:

Roses are red;
Violets are blue.
Honey is sweet,
And so are you.

One possible translation in E-prime:

Roses appear red;
Violets seem blue.
Honey tastes sweet,
And you please me too.

To use this tip, simply eliminate all uses of the verb "to be" from your communication for a given period of time, whether an hour, a day, or the time it takes you to write an email that you fear will turn into a flame.

I have indeed found this technique useful when I wish to speak in a diplomatic tone such as in a meeting

In my experience - I have found this technique useful to illustrate how people possibly label situations by using words such as:

be
being
been
am
is; isn't
are; aren't
was; wasn't
were; weren't

An example:

"That is a spaceship!"

In E-prime:
"That certainly looks like a spaceship to me." (Implication: it merits further investigation. What does it look like to you?)

You could go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-prime as a place to learn more about E-Prime.

Good Luck,

Allen

P.S. I wrote this article entirely in E-Prime, except for the examples.

How To Stop All or Nothing Thinking - Speak in E-Prime

Hi there,

Many people find all or nothing thinking - also known as binary thinking - a common issue when dealing with cognitive distortions.

I have noted that many people find that speaking in E-Prime may reduce the tendency to label situations and people into certain categories.

From Wikipedia:

E- Prime attempts to remove the verb “to be” in all its forms from English: be, is, am, are, was, were, been and being, plus all the contractions. This has the tactical effect of eliminating the passive voice. According to proponents, it forces the writer (or speaker) to think differently, and often results in language that most people find easier to read. Some call E-Prime a variant of the English language, while others approach it like a mental discipline to filter their own speech and translate the speech of others. For example, the grammatical construct changes “The movie was good.” to “I liked the movie.” Telling someone “the movie was good” imparts the state of goodness to the movie, rather than communicating the subjective nature of one's experience of the movie.


E-Prime forces a writer to choose verbs and meanings carefully: the elimination of "to be" implicitly eliminates the passive voice and progressive aspect. Some defective verbs, such as "can", use paraphrases involving "to be" in some tenses and moods. This constraint alone accounts for much of the appeal of E-Prime to some of its advocates, since many stylists argue that such constructions occur too frequently in sloppy English writing. Of course it may also generate difficulties for some writers as they learn to use E-Prime.


An example of how E-Prime might work.

So the short poem:

Roses are red;
Violets are blue.
Honey is sweet,
And so are you.

One possible translation in E-prime:

Roses appear red;
Violets seem blue.
Honey tastes sweet,
And you please me too.

To use this tip, simply eliminate all uses of the verb "to be" from your communication for a given period of time, whether an hour, a day, or the time it takes you to write an email that you fear will turn into a flame.

I have indeed found this technique useful when I wish to speak in a diplomatic tone such as in a meeting

In my experience - I have found this technique useful to illustrate how people possibly label situations by using words such as:

be
being
been
am
is; isn't
are; aren't
was; wasn't
were; weren't

An example:

"That is a spaceship!"

In E-prime:
"That certainly looks like a spaceship to me." (Implication: it merits further investigation. What does it look like to you?)

You could go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-prime as a place to learn more about E-Prime.

Good Luck,

Allen

P.S. I wrote this article entirely in E-Prime, except for the examples.

How to Help Lateral Thinking and Stop Destructive Thoughts in Their Tracks - Consider PO!

The great thinker and inventor of the term of lateral thinking, Edward De Bono came up with the concept of "Po". Basically Po is used to ignite the imagination and take away boundaries when coming up with creative solutions for problems. Basically you make a statement - no matter how silly - and see where it leads you in finding a real solution to a problem.

To quote Wikipedia:

For example, Sales are dropping off because our product is perceived as old fashioned.

po: Change the color of the packaging
po: Flood the market with even older-looking products to make it seem more appealing
po: Call it retro
po: Sell it to old people
po: Sell it to young people as a gift for old people
po: Open a museum dedicated to it
po: Pretend it is a new product
Some of the above ideas may be impractical, not sensible, not business-minded, not politically correct, or just plain daft. The value of these ideas is that they move thinking from a place where it is entrenched to a place where it can move. The above ideas might develop into...

po: Change the color of the packaging
update the product casing to bring it up to date (electronic goods can often do this)
po: Flood the market with even older-looking products to make it seem more appealing
take a cut down version and release it as an older cheaper one to make this product seem like the top of the line
po: Call it retro
instead of retro say "tried and tested" or "industry standard"
po: Sell it to old people
good idea
po: Sell it to young people as a gift for old people
good idea
po: Open a museum dedicated to it
exhibit only your competitor's products
sell this product in the museum
make the experience educational within your sector
open a café
accept group bookings
add a theme park
po: Pretend it is a new product
give it a new name and call it state of the art

The second use of the word "Po" is using it as a "wedge of awareness" when you wish to change destructive thoughts. What you do is this.. When you want to change your habitual destructive thinking mutter the word Po to yourself during the thought attack and it breaks the cycle. Let me give you an example:
"That fella just cut me off in his big fancy car... !!! People are ignorant and stupid ... Po!.... I am getting worked up over nothing and I am generalizing and labeling people.."

It really works! Its such an odd word it sort pops into your head during these spiral of destructive thoughts - it certainly seems to work for me! Give it a go and let me know how you get on!

For more "mind hacks" I recommend Mind Performance Hacks published by O'Relly by Ron Hale-Evans. I am currently reading this and loving it!

Have a nice weekend

Allen

How to Help Lateral Thinking and Stop Destructive Thoughts in Their Tracks - Consider PO!

The great thinker and inventor of the term of lateral thinking, Edward De Bono came up with the concept of "Po". Basically Po is used to ignite the imagination and take away boundaries when coming up with creative solutions for problems. Basically you make a statement - no matter how silly - and see where it leads you in finding a real solution to a problem.

To quote Wikipedia:

For example, Sales are dropping off because our product is perceived as old fashioned.

po: Change the color of the packaging
po: Flood the market with even older-looking products to make it seem more appealing
po: Call it retro
po: Sell it to old people
po: Sell it to young people as a gift for old people
po: Open a museum dedicated to it
po: Pretend it is a new product
Some of the above ideas may be impractical, not sensible, not business-minded, not politically correct, or just plain daft. The value of these ideas is that they move thinking from a place where it is entrenched to a place where it can move. The above ideas might develop into...

po: Change the color of the packaging
update the product casing to bring it up to date (electronic goods can often do this)
po: Flood the market with even older-looking products to make it seem more appealing
take a cut down version and release it as an older cheaper one to make this product seem like the top of the line
po: Call it retro
instead of retro say "tried and tested" or "industry standard"
po: Sell it to old people
good idea
po: Sell it to young people as a gift for old people
good idea
po: Open a museum dedicated to it
exhibit only your competitor's products
sell this product in the museum
make the experience educational within your sector
open a café
accept group bookings
add a theme park
po: Pretend it is a new product
give it a new name and call it state of the art

The second use of the word "Po" is using it as a "wedge of awareness" when you wish to change destructive thoughts. What you do is this.. When you want to change your habitual destructive thinking mutter the word Po to yourself during the thought attack and it breaks the cycle. Let me give you an example:
"That fella just cut me off in his big fancy car... !!! People are ignorant and stupid ... Po!.... I am getting worked up over nothing and I am generalizing and labeling people.."

It really works! Its such an odd word it sort pops into your head during these spiral of destructive thoughts - it certainly seems to work for me! Give it a go and let me know how you get on!

For more "mind hacks" I recommend Mind Performance Hacks published by O'Relly by Ron Hale-Evans. I am currently reading this and loving it!

Have a nice weekend

Allen

Let us Show There is Still Kindness in Our World

I am sick of the negative side to our News media. There seems to be a one sided view - painting the world as a place without compassion or kindness.

Do a kind thing - no matter how big or small - and post your act of compassion here in the comments to this post!

Let us show the world there are still kind people out there.

I'll start:

My kind act today was to notice that a work colleague (who I dont know) was looking a bit down. So I lent them my big book of stupid jokes to cheer them up.

What kind thing did you do? Post a comment and let the world know!

Good Luck,
Allen

Let us Show There is Still Kindness in Our World

I am sick of the negative side to our News media. There seems to be a one sided view - painting the world as a place without compassion or kindness.

Do a kind thing - no matter how big or small - and post your act of compassion here in the comments to this post!

Let us show the world there are still kind people out there.

I'll start:

My kind act today was to notice that a work colleague (who I dont know) was looking a bit down. So I lent them my big book of stupid jokes to cheer them up.

What kind thing did you do? Post a comment and let the world know!

Good Luck,
Allen

How to Feel Better - Change your thoughts first

Be very careful with your thoughts! Your thoughts are very powerful. Let me explain.

I have some bad habits that I am trying to improve upon. One of these habits is to "make a mountain out of a mole hill". I give things more importance than they deserve or I exaggerate a situation so something small becomes something much bigger. This habit can have a powerful affect on your sense of well being.

The mind works like this - you can't have a feeling without having a thought first. Repeat after me now - YOU CANNOT HAVE A FEELING WITHOUT HAVING A THOUGHT FIRST. I know it is hard to believe but it is true. The reason you don't realize this is that thoughts can happen so quickly we hardly notice them.

The example of two people who are in different cars in a traffic jam. One person thinks "I'm late! This traffic is not moving!!! Why doesn't it move!!! This always happens to me!!" gets frustrated and stressed and the other person thinks "Oh well I might as well kick back - I'm going to be here for a while..." and remains calm and listens to some nice music on their stereo. The same situation two different thoughts and two different feelings.

Another way thoughts can affect us is that we get what we expect to get. In our goals if we really don't think we will able to achieve something then we wont. On the other hand if you expect that you will achieve your REALISTIC goals you have a great chance at achieving them.

Be careful with how you are thinking. Your thoughts are indeed very powerful.

Good Luck!
Allen

How to Feel Better - Change your thoughts first

Be very careful with your thoughts! Your thoughts are very powerful. Let me explain.

I have some bad habits that I am trying to improve upon. One of these habits is to "make a mountain out of a mole hill". I give things more importance than they deserve or I exaggerate a situation so something small becomes something much bigger. This habit can have a powerful affect on your sense of well being.

The mind works like this - you can't have a feeling without having a thought first. Repeat after me now - YOU CANNOT HAVE A FEELING WITHOUT HAVING A THOUGHT FIRST. I know it is hard to believe but it is true. The reason you don't realize this is that thoughts can happen so quickly we hardly notice them.

The example of two people who are in different cars in a traffic jam. One person thinks "I'm late! This traffic is not moving!!! Why doesn't it move!!! This always happens to me!!" gets frustrated and stressed and the other person thinks "Oh well I might as well kick back - I'm going to be here for a while..." and remains calm and listens to some nice music on their stereo. The same situation two different thoughts and two different feelings.

Another way thoughts can affect us is that we get what we expect to get. In our goals if we really don't think we will able to achieve something then we wont. On the other hand if you expect that you will achieve your REALISTIC goals you have a great chance at achieving them.

Be careful with how you are thinking. Your thoughts are indeed very powerful.

Good Luck!
Allen