10 Tips on Leading a Balanced Life - Revisted.

Part two of the summer re-runs of popular posts is this one about a balanced life. Like all the life hacks and tips I write about, these are things I strive towards. I never pretend to have it all figured out by any means.

As usual let me know what you think..
Allen

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
Balance is important. When one aspect of our life becomes too dominant we loose that balance and experience conflict and unhappiness. It’s not easy and sometimes it feels like a juggling match but if we develop some healthy habits it is possible to achieve balance in a relaxed and calm way. Don’t forget the amount of time you devote to each aspect of your life will undergo fluctuation. It’s all a matter of realizing the natural flow of life and giving the right amount of attention to all aspects of our day to day living. So here I present my own ten tips on leading a balanced life.

1) Go home from work on time.
You need to look after yourself. Contrary to what the current culture will tell you – we are not machines. You need a healthy balance between the time you spend at work and the time you spend outside the work place. You need to be constantly reminded that there is more to life than work. (Although there will be some times you might have to work late in case of emergencies but they should be the exceptions and not the norm.)

2) Don’t be a yes person.
This follows on from point number one. You will find it easier to go home on time when you don’t agree to every single thing that is asked of you. Your inbox will never be empty – only agree to things that you can manage and that do not interfere with point 1.

3) Go to bed and get up at the same time everyday.
Treat this as your foundation for a more balanced life. Creating a natural rhythm to your day will go a long way to creating balance in your life. You will feel more rested and grounded in reality and less overwhelmed by events that happen during the day.

4) Slow down.
Consciously slow down. Walk slower, drive slower, talk slower. Notice things as you walk. Notice the tree that you pass by each day on the way to work and how it changes color with the seasons. Notice the fresh smell of morning and feel the warm sunshine on your face during the day (or the rain pelting of your face if you live in Ireland) :). Become more aware and awake in general and take your time over your day. Practice some form of daily relaxation exercise such as meditation, yoga or progressive muscle relaxation. Slow down - it is not a race you know!

5) Don’t buy into the culture around you if you don’t want to.
24-7 News (mostly bad news), the pressures of work, the go go go of modern life – this is what the media likes to tell us about our culture. That is not MY culture. I don’t agree with it and I don’t buy it. I am a human being and unique with my own feelings and needs – I don’t have to buy into something if it violates my values.

6) Create your own sub-culture involving your friends and family.
Surround yourself with people you like and who like you back. Create you own subculture of activities. Leave the couch and TV and go out and meet people be it through reading groups, charity work, nature rambles and more!

7) Recognize you have the right to be healthier than those around you.
Again don’t buy into the bad habits of other people. If everyone else around you drink too much coffee – that doesn’t mean you have to. If your colleagues at work love to eat fried foods at lunch – that doesn’t mean you have to. If your peers don’t bother to exercise that doesn’t mean you have to. Look after yourself!

8) Do something meaningful with your spare time.
Volunteer and do something that suits your personality. Not everyone can have the qualities that are required to go visit and talk to the elderly for example. Find out what skills you have (everyone has them!) and see how you could use those skills to help others.

9) Let go of the need to buy the next big thing.
If you let go of the cravings to keep consuming and buying things you don’t need then you might not feel you have to work such long hours. Why do you need that car? Is it something you really NEED or just something you think would be nice to have. Don’t forget about all those items you bought and you thought they were great to begin with. You were feeling empty and you thought that this might make your life more exciting or make you feel a bit better. Then the novelty wears off and you have that empty feeling inside that you had before you bought it in the first place. Why do you feel you need to keep up with the neighbors? If they get a big 4 X 4 does that mean you have to? Ask yourself why you feel you have to do that?

10) Develop compassion, patience and tolerance for your fellow people.
Happiness comes from relationships you have with people. We are all very complicated and can have our negative aspects. Developing compassion, patience and tolerance for others will go a long way to having better relationships with people. Accepting how different we all are is the starting point the rest is up to you!

What methods for addressing balance in your life worked for you? Let me know by leaving a comment below!

Good luck,
Allen

10 Tips on Leading a Balanced Life - Revisted.

Part two of the summer re-runs of popular posts is this one about a balanced life. Like all the life hacks and tips I write about, these are things I strive towards. I never pretend to have it all figured out by any means.

As usual let me know what you think..
Allen

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
Balance is important. When one aspect of our life becomes too dominant we loose that balance and experience conflict and unhappiness. It’s not easy and sometimes it feels like a juggling match but if we develop some healthy habits it is possible to achieve balance in a relaxed and calm way. Don’t forget the amount of time you devote to each aspect of your life will undergo fluctuation. It’s all a matter of realizing the natural flow of life and giving the right amount of attention to all aspects of our day to day living. So here I present my own ten tips on leading a balanced life.

1) Go home from work on time.
You need to look after yourself. Contrary to what the current culture will tell you – we are not machines. You need a healthy balance between the time you spend at work and the time you spend outside the work place. You need to be constantly reminded that there is more to life than work. (Although there will be some times you might have to work late in case of emergencies but they should be the exceptions and not the norm.)

2) Don’t be a yes person.
This follows on from point number one. You will find it easier to go home on time when you don’t agree to every single thing that is asked of you. Your inbox will never be empty – only agree to things that you can manage and that do not interfere with point 1.

3) Go to bed and get up at the same time everyday.
Treat this as your foundation for a more balanced life. Creating a natural rhythm to your day will go a long way to creating balance in your life. You will feel more rested and grounded in reality and less overwhelmed by events that happen during the day.

4) Slow down.
Consciously slow down. Walk slower, drive slower, talk slower. Notice things as you walk. Notice the tree that you pass by each day on the way to work and how it changes color with the seasons. Notice the fresh smell of morning and feel the warm sunshine on your face during the day (or the rain pelting of your face if you live in Ireland) :). Become more aware and awake in general and take your time over your day. Practice some form of daily relaxation exercise such as meditation, yoga or progressive muscle relaxation. Slow down - it is not a race you know!

5) Don’t buy into the culture around you if you don’t want to.
24-7 News (mostly bad news), the pressures of work, the go go go of modern life – this is what the media likes to tell us about our culture. That is not MY culture. I don’t agree with it and I don’t buy it. I am a human being and unique with my own feelings and needs – I don’t have to buy into something if it violates my values.

6) Create your own sub-culture involving your friends and family.
Surround yourself with people you like and who like you back. Create you own subculture of activities. Leave the couch and TV and go out and meet people be it through reading groups, charity work, nature rambles and more!

7) Recognize you have the right to be healthier than those around you.
Again don’t buy into the bad habits of other people. If everyone else around you drink too much coffee – that doesn’t mean you have to. If your colleagues at work love to eat fried foods at lunch – that doesn’t mean you have to. If your peers don’t bother to exercise that doesn’t mean you have to. Look after yourself!

8) Do something meaningful with your spare time.
Volunteer and do something that suits your personality. Not everyone can have the qualities that are required to go visit and talk to the elderly for example. Find out what skills you have (everyone has them!) and see how you could use those skills to help others.

9) Let go of the need to buy the next big thing.
If you let go of the cravings to keep consuming and buying things you don’t need then you might not feel you have to work such long hours. Why do you need that car? Is it something you really NEED or just something you think would be nice to have. Don’t forget about all those items you bought and you thought they were great to begin with. You were feeling empty and you thought that this might make your life more exciting or make you feel a bit better. Then the novelty wears off and you have that empty feeling inside that you had before you bought it in the first place. Why do you feel you need to keep up with the neighbors? If they get a big 4 X 4 does that mean you have to? Ask yourself why you feel you have to do that?

10) Develop compassion, patience and tolerance for your fellow people.
Happiness comes from relationships you have with people. We are all very complicated and can have our negative aspects. Developing compassion, patience and tolerance for others will go a long way to having better relationships with people. Accepting how different we all are is the starting point the rest is up to you!

What methods for addressing balance in your life worked for you? Let me know by leaving a comment below!

Good luck,
Allen

Self Help For Lazy People - Revisited

Hi there,

This is the post that kicked off this site and I felt (since it is one year later) it would be time for a re-run. If the television networks can have summer re-runs I don't see why I cant either :-) ...

Let me know what you think .. one year later?

Allen



Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
There is a common thread to all self help books. Instead of having to fork out hard earned cash to hear the same message again and again - why not just follow the tips listed below and it will save you time and money. I have called this post "Self Help and Personal Development for Lazy People".

1) Relax - This doesn't mean to zombie out in front of the television. This means taking 10-20 minutes of your day to do NOTHING. There are various ways in which you can relax.

a) Meditation.
b) Progressive Muscle Relaxation.
c) Deep breathing.
d) Yoga.

You will find if you do this on a regular basis that you will be less susceptible to the symptoms of bad stress and you will not be as tired.

2) Take regular physical exercise - It doesn’t have to be anything special - a daily 20 minute walk would be enough and if you feel like doing more you will. Start with small amounts of enjoyable exercise. Don't be going off all gung ho.

3) Eat a balanced diet. There has been so much written on this. I think you know what you should eat more off and what you should cut down on.

4) Sleep well - Go to bed and get up at the same time everyday. Listen to your body - everyone needs different amounts of sleep. You know what the right amount is for you. If you have a television in your bedroom - get rid of it! The bedroom should be used for two things and one of them is sleeping. See your sleep as an investment in order to feel better during the day.

5) Socialize - Spend time with family and friends on a regular basis. Try not to isolate yourself.

6) Keep a journal - These are great places to express your feelings, review what happened during the day and solve problems. Get your problems out of your head and onto paper and you will feel less overwhelmed by them.

7) Help other people - It’s simple. You help others - they will feel good and you will feel good. The world will be a better place if we all did this.

8) Keep close to nature - Go for walks in the country, do some gardening and basically anything that will remind you that there is more to this earth than us!

9) Develop a spiritual life - Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism - whatever is your thing.

10) Laugh - Keep a sense of humor about life! In a hundred years you will be dead so lighten up and enjoy it.

11) Watch less T.V. - There are a few programs I really like. I usually tape them so I can choose when to watch them. Watching less T.V. will free so much of your time up to go and do so many other things. I get my news from listening to the radio or the internet. Again you don’t have to cut it out all together but you have to ask yourself – does anyone benefit from watching Big Brother?

12) Listen – If you give someone who is talking to you 100% of your attention you will feel more relaxed and responsive to that person. Your mind will not be rushing on to the next thing that needs to be done and the person who is talking to you will respond warmly to your attention.

13) De-clutter your life - Strive for a minimalistic life style. What do you want with all the stuff? How many little dust collectors do you have that you can get rid off? Stop listening to all those ads. If you buy THAT it will NOT make you happy. Keep things simple!

14) Get organized - Manage your time better at work prioritize your tasks. Stop procrastinating. Keep your home clean and well organized. You will feel better and less frustrated. Time is a precious quantity - look after it.

Finally ..

15) Think for yourself - You don’t have to blindly follow people and do what everyone else is doing. You don’t have to follow the culture in which you live if you don’t agree with it. You are your own unique and special individual. You are not to be classified or labeled! You are YOU! No other person has ever existed – quite like you. No other person will ever exist again like you. Listen to your feelings more and think for yourself. Do not blindly accept things just because other people do. Be true to yourself and you will be more fully human and in the end happier.

I hope you find this post useful… If you follow the tips above, I can guarantee you will feel better.

Good Luck,
Allen

If you liked this you might like to read:
How to Stop Obsessive Worry for Lazy People
50 Self Nuturing Activities for Lazy People

p.s. More posts along this topic will follow soon including ...
How To Get Exercise and Avoid The Gym for Lazy People and
How to be Assertive for Lazy People.

Click here for professional e-commerce and website development.

Self Help For Lazy People - Revisited

Hi there,

This is the post that kicked off this site and I felt (since it is one year later) it would be time for a re-run. If the television networks can have summer re-runs I don't see why I cant either :-) ...

Let me know what you think .. one year later?

Allen



Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
There is a common thread to all self help books. Instead of having to fork out hard earned cash to hear the same message again and again - why not just follow the tips listed below and it will save you time and money. I have called this post "Self Help and Personal Development for Lazy People".

1) Relax - This doesn't mean to zombie out in front of the television. This means taking 10-20 minutes of your day to do NOTHING. There are various ways in which you can relax.

a) Meditation.
b) Progressive Muscle Relaxation.
c) Deep breathing.
d) Yoga.

You will find if you do this on a regular basis that you will be less susceptible to the symptoms of bad stress and you will not be as tired.

2) Take regular physical exercise - It doesn’t have to be anything special - a daily 20 minute walk would be enough and if you feel like doing more you will. Start with small amounts of enjoyable exercise. Don't be going off all gung ho.

3) Eat a balanced diet. There has been so much written on this. I think you know what you should eat more off and what you should cut down on.

4) Sleep well - Go to bed and get up at the same time everyday. Listen to your body - everyone needs different amounts of sleep. You know what the right amount is for you. If you have a television in your bedroom - get rid of it! The bedroom should be used for two things and one of them is sleeping. See your sleep as an investment in order to feel better during the day.

5) Socialize - Spend time with family and friends on a regular basis. Try not to isolate yourself.

6) Keep a journal - These are great places to express your feelings, review what happened during the day and solve problems. Get your problems out of your head and onto paper and you will feel less overwhelmed by them.

7) Help other people - It’s simple. You help others - they will feel good and you will feel good. The world will be a better place if we all did this.

8) Keep close to nature - Go for walks in the country, do some gardening and basically anything that will remind you that there is more to this earth than us!

9) Develop a spiritual life - Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism - whatever is your thing.

10) Laugh - Keep a sense of humor about life! In a hundred years you will be dead so lighten up and enjoy it.

11) Watch less T.V. - There are a few programs I really like. I usually tape them so I can choose when to watch them. Watching less T.V. will free so much of your time up to go and do so many other things. I get my news from listening to the radio or the internet. Again you don’t have to cut it out all together but you have to ask yourself – does anyone benefit from watching Big Brother?

12) Listen – If you give someone who is talking to you 100% of your attention you will feel more relaxed and responsive to that person. Your mind will not be rushing on to the next thing that needs to be done and the person who is talking to you will respond warmly to your attention.

13) De-clutter your life - Strive for a minimalistic life style. What do you want with all the stuff? How many little dust collectors do you have that you can get rid off? Stop listening to all those ads. If you buy THAT it will NOT make you happy. Keep things simple!

14) Get organized - Manage your time better at work prioritize your tasks. Stop procrastinating. Keep your home clean and well organized. You will feel better and less frustrated. Time is a precious quantity - look after it.

Finally ..

15) Think for yourself - You don’t have to blindly follow people and do what everyone else is doing. You don’t have to follow the culture in which you live if you don’t agree with it. You are your own unique and special individual. You are not to be classified or labeled! You are YOU! No other person has ever existed – quite like you. No other person will ever exist again like you. Listen to your feelings more and think for yourself. Do not blindly accept things just because other people do. Be true to yourself and you will be more fully human and in the end happier.

I hope you find this post useful… If you follow the tips above, I can guarantee you will feel better.

Good Luck,
Allen

If you liked this you might like to read:
How to Stop Obsessive Worry for Lazy People
50 Self Nuturing Activities for Lazy People

p.s. More posts along this topic will follow soon including ...
How To Get Exercise and Avoid The Gym for Lazy People and
How to be Assertive for Lazy People.

Click here for professional e-commerce and website development.

Don't throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater when it comes to having a Spiritual life...

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
Don't throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater when it comes to having a Spiritual life...

Consider this song:

Artist: George Harrison
Album: Concert For Bangla Desh/all Things Must Pass
Title: Awaiting On You All


You don't need no love in
You don't need no bed pan
You don't need a horoscope or a microscope
The see the mess that you're in
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been polluted so long
Now here's a way for you to get clean

By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

You don't need no passport
And you don't need no visas
You don't need to designate or to emigrate
Before you can see Jesus
If you open up your heart
You'll see he's right there
Always was and will be
He'll relieve you of your cares

By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

You don't need no church house
And you don't need no temple
You don't need no rosary beads or them books to read
To see that you have fallen
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been kept down so long
Someone's thinking that we're all green

And while the pope owns 51% of general motors
And the stock exchange is the only thing he's qualified to quote us
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free



I believe a lot of people have lost their way today. They have their energies invested in meaningless activities and try and numb the pain of this with drink, drugs, consumerism and following the lives of so called celebs.

>You don't need to designate or to emigrate
> Before you can see Jesus

Interesting how he mentions Jesus in this song although he was a devout Hindu… I think that if people followed the teaching of Jesus and not the dogmas set by the man made church institutions then people might be happier. I am not saying happiness cannot be found in other religions but I use this example as it the religious framework I am familiar with.

People have thrown the baby out with the bathwater in my humble opinion. They have turned their backs on "the church" but they have also turned their backs on a spiritual life. It also seems to me the people with the loudest voices are the fundamentalists

If one takes a belief in God as a given then we are all children of God. We are all the same.

I grew up in a Christian family so I am using Christianity as the example I am most familiar with. I believe the worlds major religions are like different paths on a road that lead to the same destination.

So let us look at Christianity...

Jesus' wisdom teaching points to the world of conventional wisdom as a world of blindness. His aphorisms and parables invite us to see differently.

The theologian Marcus Borg tries to show us this e.g.

C:Conventional wisdom
J:Jesus' alternative wisdom

C:God is punitive lawgiver and judge
J:God is gracious

C:A person's worth is determined by measuring up to social standards
J:All persons have infinite worth as a children of God

C:Sinners and outcasts are to be avoided and rejected
J:Everyone is welcome around the table and in the kingdom of God

C:Identity comes from social tradition
J:Identity comes from centring in the sacred, from relationship with God

C:Strive to be first
J:The first shall be last...; those who exalt themselves will be emptied...

C:Preserve one's own life above all
J:The path of dying to self and being reborn leads to life abundant

C:Fruit of striving is reward
J:Fruit of centring in God is compassion


The pre-crucified Jesus was a social profit, healer and He tried to teach an alternative wisdom. He got on the wrong side of the authorities of the day and was crucified for it but his spirit lived on. You can look on this as the metaphysical spirit or the spirit of His teachings. The post Easter Jesus is something different.

Christian experience is born in the Easter experience.

Easter does not have to include something happening to Jesus' body.

The foundational meaning of Easter is that Jesus' followers experienced his continuing presence as a living reality.

An empty tomb is one way to talk about that experience.

The community speaks of Jesus as:

Light of the world

Bread of life

Messiah

The way, the truth, the life

The only way

These are images/metaphors people used to describe their experience of Jesus.

They are profoundly true though not literally true.

Jesus did not speak of himself in these ways.

They are vivid testimony about how the community experienced and thought about Jesus.

The post-Easter Jesus can also be the word, light, and bread, of God for us.

For more see http://www.united.edu/portrait/index.shtml

Anyway my long rambling point is this. George Harrison's music seems to show that the quiet Beatle had a healthy attitude to spirituality and he recognised the subversive message in following a spiritual life. A spiritual life can reward you with a life of meaning although its not really about what you can "get" for yourself in my humble opinion. I grew up in Northern Ireland and this could put you of religion for life! I constantly remind myself that if there is a God or higher power then He/She is much larger than our limited minds can comprehend and that the religion is a human reaction to this mystery.

So try not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you have given up on religion don't give up on having a spiritual life.



Good Luck!

Allen

Don't throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater when it comes to having a Spiritual life...

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds
Don't throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater when it comes to having a Spiritual life...

Consider this song:

Artist: George Harrison
Album: Concert For Bangla Desh/all Things Must Pass
Title: Awaiting On You All


You don't need no love in
You don't need no bed pan
You don't need a horoscope or a microscope
The see the mess that you're in
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been polluted so long
Now here's a way for you to get clean

By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

You don't need no passport
And you don't need no visas
You don't need to designate or to emigrate
Before you can see Jesus
If you open up your heart
You'll see he's right there
Always was and will be
He'll relieve you of your cares

By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

You don't need no church house
And you don't need no temple
You don't need no rosary beads or them books to read
To see that you have fallen
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been kept down so long
Someone's thinking that we're all green

And while the pope owns 51% of general motors
And the stock exchange is the only thing he's qualified to quote us
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free



I believe a lot of people have lost their way today. They have their energies invested in meaningless activities and try and numb the pain of this with drink, drugs, consumerism and following the lives of so called celebs.

>You don't need to designate or to emigrate
> Before you can see Jesus

Interesting how he mentions Jesus in this song although he was a devout Hindu… I think that if people followed the teaching of Jesus and not the dogmas set by the man made church institutions then people might be happier. I am not saying happiness cannot be found in other religions but I use this example as it the religious framework I am familiar with.

People have thrown the baby out with the bathwater in my humble opinion. They have turned their backs on "the church" but they have also turned their backs on a spiritual life. It also seems to me the people with the loudest voices are the fundamentalists

If one takes a belief in God as a given then we are all children of God. We are all the same.

I grew up in a Christian family so I am using Christianity as the example I am most familiar with. I believe the worlds major religions are like different paths on a road that lead to the same destination.

So let us look at Christianity...

Jesus' wisdom teaching points to the world of conventional wisdom as a world of blindness. His aphorisms and parables invite us to see differently.

The theologian Marcus Borg tries to show us this e.g.

C:Conventional wisdom
J:Jesus' alternative wisdom

C:God is punitive lawgiver and judge
J:God is gracious

C:A person's worth is determined by measuring up to social standards
J:All persons have infinite worth as a children of God

C:Sinners and outcasts are to be avoided and rejected
J:Everyone is welcome around the table and in the kingdom of God

C:Identity comes from social tradition
J:Identity comes from centring in the sacred, from relationship with God

C:Strive to be first
J:The first shall be last...; those who exalt themselves will be emptied...

C:Preserve one's own life above all
J:The path of dying to self and being reborn leads to life abundant

C:Fruit of striving is reward
J:Fruit of centring in God is compassion


The pre-crucified Jesus was a social profit, healer and He tried to teach an alternative wisdom. He got on the wrong side of the authorities of the day and was crucified for it but his spirit lived on. You can look on this as the metaphysical spirit or the spirit of His teachings. The post Easter Jesus is something different.

Christian experience is born in the Easter experience.

Easter does not have to include something happening to Jesus' body.

The foundational meaning of Easter is that Jesus' followers experienced his continuing presence as a living reality.

An empty tomb is one way to talk about that experience.

The community speaks of Jesus as:

Light of the world

Bread of life

Messiah

The way, the truth, the life

The only way

These are images/metaphors people used to describe their experience of Jesus.

They are profoundly true though not literally true.

Jesus did not speak of himself in these ways.

They are vivid testimony about how the community experienced and thought about Jesus.

The post-Easter Jesus can also be the word, light, and bread, of God for us.

For more see http://www.united.edu/portrait/index.shtml

Anyway my long rambling point is this. George Harrison's music seems to show that the quiet Beatle had a healthy attitude to spirituality and he recognised the subversive message in following a spiritual life. A spiritual life can reward you with a life of meaning although its not really about what you can "get" for yourself in my humble opinion. I grew up in Northern Ireland and this could put you of religion for life! I constantly remind myself that if there is a God or higher power then He/She is much larger than our limited minds can comprehend and that the religion is a human reaction to this mystery.

So try not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you have given up on religion don't give up on having a spiritual life.



Good Luck!

Allen

5 Tips on How to Survive Life When You leave College

I remember when I was in my final year of university or college as our American friends like to put it. It was a busy time but it was also a worrying time. I remember commenting to a friend of mine at the time "When I think of what life might be like after I graduate - it just feels like a big black void!" I remember him saying he thought the same. Little did I know that my post college life would take me to Sweden for 8 years but such is the unpredictability of life!

I realize that most people wont be graduating for another five or six months but it pays to think ahead and not just drift along. Life for a lot of graduates is going to change and I believe if you follow the following tips you will be in a better state to handle the transition into a new phase of your life.

1) Take at least a year off!

You have just spent the past few months studying for finals, locked in a library or study room somewhere - Get out and get some air. Take some time to yourself and see the world! You have spent the first part of your life following a set path dictated to you by your peers or your parents. Now it is time to go out and find out who you really are. Spend a year to "catch your breath". You have your whole life to work in a 9 to 5 job! Take a step back from your life to make sure you are on the right path for YOU!

2) Travel the world.

Travel does broaden the mind! I realize it takes money to travel but try and find opportunities where you can earn money in a different country.You could do charity work! What about the peace corps or some such charity organization? Do some foreign aid work but do something that will allow you to see a bit of our world outside of what we are used to. Experience a different culture. Remember where there is a will there is a way - so even if you don' t have much money there are ways to fulfill this goal.

3) Don't let other people tell you what you should now do.

Perhaps your parents have expectations of you to go to medical school or to go work in Acme inc. Perhaps your friends will scoff at your aspirations to travel and say things to you like "Boy house prices go up and up... You should get a well paid job and buy a house... settle down... What do you want to take a year off for... Some sort of new ager are you?" etc..etc... Do what is right for you!

4) Remember - Be tolerant - It will be more difficult to make new friends now.

Your whole life - up until this point- has been spent with people your own age. Lots of people your own age. If you didn't like someone or didn't get on with someone there was plenty more people you could make friends with. You could be choosey with who you would become friends with. Life outside school and college isn't like that. You will be mixing with a whole plethora of people from different backgrounds, ages and beliefs. If you start a new job you might be put on a team with so called "geeks", "nerds", or "jocks"! Develop patience and tolerance of others... You will be a better person for it and happier!

5) Remember - You don't have to have it all figured out.

There is no rule book to say that you are supposed to have everything figured out. The older you get the more you realize that very few people if any have it "all figured out". Trust your feelings more and you will find yourself in a better place. Start with developing positive qualities in yourself and you will start down a path more suited to you! Life is a journey not a destination.


I hope this helps any of you who might be graduating this year. The kindest thing that you can do for yourself is BE THE PERSON YOU WERE MEANT TO BE NOT THE PERSON OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU SHOULD BE.

Be kind to yourself!
Allen

5 Tips on How to Survive Life When You leave College

I remember when I was in my final year of university or college as our American friends like to put it. It was a busy time but it was also a worrying time. I remember commenting to a friend of mine at the time "When I think of what life might be like after I graduate - it just feels like a big black void!" I remember him saying he thought the same. Little did I know that my post college life would take me to Sweden for 8 years but such is the unpredictability of life!

I realize that most people wont be graduating for another five or six months but it pays to think ahead and not just drift along. Life for a lot of graduates is going to change and I believe if you follow the following tips you will be in a better state to handle the transition into a new phase of your life.

1) Take at least a year off!

You have just spent the past few months studying for finals, locked in a library or study room somewhere - Get out and get some air. Take some time to yourself and see the world! You have spent the first part of your life following a set path dictated to you by your peers or your parents. Now it is time to go out and find out who you really are. Spend a year to "catch your breath". You have your whole life to work in a 9 to 5 job! Take a step back from your life to make sure you are on the right path for YOU!

2) Travel the world.

Travel does broaden the mind! I realize it takes money to travel but try and find opportunities where you can earn money in a different country.You could do charity work! What about the peace corps or some such charity organization? Do some foreign aid work but do something that will allow you to see a bit of our world outside of what we are used to. Experience a different culture. Remember where there is a will there is a way - so even if you don' t have much money there are ways to fulfill this goal.

3) Don't let other people tell you what you should now do.

Perhaps your parents have expectations of you to go to medical school or to go work in Acme inc. Perhaps your friends will scoff at your aspirations to travel and say things to you like "Boy house prices go up and up... You should get a well paid job and buy a house... settle down... What do you want to take a year off for... Some sort of new ager are you?" etc..etc... Do what is right for you!

4) Remember - Be tolerant - It will be more difficult to make new friends now.

Your whole life - up until this point- has been spent with people your own age. Lots of people your own age. If you didn't like someone or didn't get on with someone there was plenty more people you could make friends with. You could be choosey with who you would become friends with. Life outside school and college isn't like that. You will be mixing with a whole plethora of people from different backgrounds, ages and beliefs. If you start a new job you might be put on a team with so called "geeks", "nerds", or "jocks"! Develop patience and tolerance of others... You will be a better person for it and happier!

5) Remember - You don't have to have it all figured out.

There is no rule book to say that you are supposed to have everything figured out. The older you get the more you realize that very few people if any have it "all figured out". Trust your feelings more and you will find yourself in a better place. Start with developing positive qualities in yourself and you will start down a path more suited to you! Life is a journey not a destination.


I hope this helps any of you who might be graduating this year. The kindest thing that you can do for yourself is BE THE PERSON YOU WERE MEANT TO BE NOT THE PERSON OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU SHOULD BE.

Be kind to yourself!
Allen

Be a Rebel With a Cause

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds

Our culture has such an impact on our lives. I have said this before but I want to say it again. We are bombarded by messages from our schools, media outlets and other organizations about how we should lead our lives and what it means to be successful. The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves and we should stand up say it doesn't work. We should be rebels (but unlike James Dean in that famous movie) we should be rebels WITH a cause and that cause is to work to create our own culture based around compassion.

Here are some suggestions how.

1) Re-define success.
What does it mean to be successful? Does it mean having a large house and an expensive sports car? Does it mean being on a board of directors of a company? Those things don't necessarily mean success. It has become a cliché but material wealth should not be equated with success. Neither should physical beauty or what our culture labels as being physically beautiful. To me, success is HOW we live our lives not WHAT we own or WHAT we look like. Do we show compassion and forgiveness to others? Do we live a full and balanced life? Are we the person we were made to be rather than the person we think we should be? Do we center our lives on helping others (as well as looking after are own needs)? Have we devoted our lives to creating something that gives us purpose and meaning? If you answer yes to any or all of these questions - in my book - you are a successful person.

2) Know that you will die.
Our culture is obsessed with immortality. A lot of people walk around like they are going to live forever. They then concentrate on a lot of things that are just not important but our culture tries to make us think that they our important. Know that sometime you will die and you might start living your life differently.

3) Look to the future and let go of the past.
Life is a journey and we should always look to the future, accept the past and then let go of it. People that always look back do so because they have never found meaning in their lives because if you have found meaning you will always move forward and you never want to go back.

4) Think for yourself.
I have written about this before and if you follow this advice it could mean you will ignore every tip I have written on this blog! :-) Take some time for reflection and make sure you are not overly influenced by others. Choose your role models wisely and remember not to look up to the people at top as they will always be looking down at you.

5) Create your own culture.
Every society has its own problems, The way to do it, I think, isn't to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture. Surround yourself with people you love and who love you back. Create and live your own life - not the life society thinks you should lead.


There are many ways to add meaning to your life. Staying independent of popular culture and centering your life on compassion, forgiveness and your relationships with your friends and family will add a fullness to your life that no amount of money can buy.

Good Luck,
Allen

Be a Rebel With a Cause

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds

Our culture has such an impact on our lives. I have said this before but I want to say it again. We are bombarded by messages from our schools, media outlets and other organizations about how we should lead our lives and what it means to be successful. The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves and we should stand up say it doesn't work. We should be rebels (but unlike James Dean in that famous movie) we should be rebels WITH a cause and that cause is to work to create our own culture based around compassion.

Here are some suggestions how.

1) Re-define success.
What does it mean to be successful? Does it mean having a large house and an expensive sports car? Does it mean being on a board of directors of a company? Those things don't necessarily mean success. It has become a cliché but material wealth should not be equated with success. Neither should physical beauty or what our culture labels as being physically beautiful. To me, success is HOW we live our lives not WHAT we own or WHAT we look like. Do we show compassion and forgiveness to others? Do we live a full and balanced life? Are we the person we were made to be rather than the person we think we should be? Do we center our lives on helping others (as well as looking after are own needs)? Have we devoted our lives to creating something that gives us purpose and meaning? If you answer yes to any or all of these questions - in my book - you are a successful person.

2) Know that you will die.
Our culture is obsessed with immortality. A lot of people walk around like they are going to live forever. They then concentrate on a lot of things that are just not important but our culture tries to make us think that they our important. Know that sometime you will die and you might start living your life differently.

3) Look to the future and let go of the past.
Life is a journey and we should always look to the future, accept the past and then let go of it. People that always look back do so because they have never found meaning in their lives because if you have found meaning you will always move forward and you never want to go back.

4) Think for yourself.
I have written about this before and if you follow this advice it could mean you will ignore every tip I have written on this blog! :-) Take some time for reflection and make sure you are not overly influenced by others. Choose your role models wisely and remember not to look up to the people at top as they will always be looking down at you.

5) Create your own culture.
Every society has its own problems, The way to do it, I think, isn't to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture. Surround yourself with people you love and who love you back. Create and live your own life - not the life society thinks you should lead.


There are many ways to add meaning to your life. Staying independent of popular culture and centering your life on compassion, forgiveness and your relationships with your friends and family will add a fullness to your life that no amount of money can buy.

Good Luck,
Allen