Did you know you have your own bill of rights? When those rights are violated you need to point this out to the person who violated them. You should do this in a non-judgmental, calm and to the point way. I will write something later on self help tips I have found useful in this area. In the mean time here are the personal bill of rights which many self help books refer to. The first step to improving your assertiveness and self esteem is to realize these rights exist and to evaluate when they have been violated. Print them out and place them somewhere were you can get to see them regularly. That way you will learn them on a deeper level and you will be more able to look after them!
Good Luck!
Allen
Personal Bill of Rights
(As written by Doctor Edmund J. Bourne in his book The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook - Second Edition (c)1995)
1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
13. I have the right to feel scared and say 'I'm afraid."
14. I have the right to say I don't know.
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy.
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