*Secret #123 Don't Overdo the Time Management Thing

Just a thought.
BA

Secret #121 Ride the Endorphin Rush

Brain research shows that when you complete a task on your to do list AND take a second to actually cross it off... your brain releases endorphins into your blood stream... thus you experience a physical and psychological high or lift.

So why not ride the endorphin rush right now? Here's how:

1. Create a list of all that you need/want to do today.
2. Prioritize the list by asking yourself, "If I could only do one of these items today, which one would it be?"
3. Place the number 1 next to that item... and then re-ask the question about the remaining items on your list.
4. Once you have everything on your list prioritized... start at #1 and work at it until you complete it.
5. Once you complete #1, take a second to cross it off your list... sit back... and ride the endorphin rush.

Or—If the above doesn't work—you can go to Starbucks and drink a 16 shot Americano... that ought to do it.

But whatever you do, don't cross anything off your to do list AND drink a 16 shot Americano... I just can't be held responsible for what that might do to you!

Secret #113 Time Management for Women

As we all know, men can be so high maintenance.

I mean, a real relationship with a real man can interrupt your schedule and take up so much of your personal time and energy.

What a pain!

So how can you, as a woman, get the emotional comfort of a relationship with a man without the emotional drain and time hassles of actually having a relationship with a real man?

To all women everywhere, I say look no further!

You don't need a real man. You only need 25% of a man (and not the 25% most men think). And think of all the time, money, and energy you'll save with 25% man. He doesn't make any messes, talk back, or leave the toilet seat up—and he's always ready to cuddle.

Get your 25% man now... all you have to do is decipher the language of the country where they sell these.

* Note to women who are already in a relationship with a real man: No trade-ins allowed.

*Secret 110 Drink Coffee... Lots of It!

The caffeinated kind. No joke.

Think about it. It's difficult to manage your time well when you're tired.

A cup or two—especially in the morning—can make a significant difference in your life!

And don't forget about Coffee's other amazing benefits:


1. Coffee is cheaper than other drugs that stimulate you (like meth)... not to mention.. it's legal (unlike meth).

2. Recent scientific research actually shows the benefits of drinking coffee.

3. Drinking coffee makes you thinner, better looking, and wealthier. OK this is a lie... but woudln't it be cool if it were true?

Secret #109 A Safe Life Isn't Necessarily a Great Life

Some words to live by in 2008...

Secret #107 Deploy a Time-Saving Toddler

Secret #84 Train the Next Generation????

Okay... so my wife was cleaning the house the other day and came accross this to-do list written by our eight-year-old daughter, Libby.

What do you think: Are we training her to manage her life and time well--or are we passing down our neurotic tendencies?

BEFORE YOU LEAVE A COMMENT:
It's important that you see what our eight-year-old actually wrote on her to-do list--so if you have trouble reading this to-do list, double click the picture.

Secret #72 Live a Well-Planned Life

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school. Did you manage to live a well-planned life? "

"Yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."

Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?"

"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

More Pearls of Wisdom (Friday Fun) - According to Viz

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it.
If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.


CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a p*ss before the film starts.


RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen.
Simply place a dog poo in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.


WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine?
Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.


MURDERERS Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL.
You will never see it again.


BURGLARS. When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.


EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.


MEN When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.


GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.


BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.


DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically.
This should help the car start and send them on their way.


PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.


CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or
under a seat.


MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large
shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.


SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.


SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam or Dorothy Perkins with several bags of shopping,
looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.


BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from
your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.


McDONALD'S Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in with the countryside after they've been
thrown out of car windows.

More Pearls of Wisdom (Friday Fun) - According to Viz

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it.
If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.


CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a p*ss before the film starts.


RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen.
Simply place a dog poo in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.


WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine?
Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.


MURDERERS Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL.
You will never see it again.


BURGLARS. When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.


EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.


MEN When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.


GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.


BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.


DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically.
This should help the car start and send them on their way.


PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.


CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or
under a seat.


MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large
shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.


SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.


SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam or Dorothy Perkins with several bags of shopping,
looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.


BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from
your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.


McDONALD'S Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in with the countryside after they've been
thrown out of car windows.