Inspirational moments occur when you let them

I write about divorce a lot here. It happened to be a major obstacle that threatened to change my life for the worst. At least, that's what it does for a lot of people. With conscious and continued effort, I managed and am managing not to let that happen. I'm very thankful, and that's one reason why I share my message here and elsewhere. I know mine was an obstacle that, unfortunately, 50 percent of married couples face today.

It's all too common, but I know it's also just one obstacle out of millions that people deal with daily. So that's why I'm posting this link today about Daryn Kagan. When the former CNN anchor was faced with the loss of a job--CNN chose not to renew her contract after 12 years of service--she didn't let the "rejection" ruin her. She let it take her on a new path--the path of telling inspiring stories, including her own. She has a new book out called What's Possible! that I intend to buy. In it, she tells the stories of people who have overcome impossible odds. What could be more inspiring?!

As I think about my friend who recently committed suicide, I am also thinking: why couldn't she overcome what was disturbing her? Perhaps it was the bi-polar. But when I look back at her life and the 20+ years I knew her, I can see that she had so many other things that didn't go right, including her health. Near the end, she'd just lost her mother to pancreatic cancer and was dealing with a legal issue as well. Perhaps she just gave up. But she left behind a beautiful daughter who now has her own "rejection" to deal with. Luckily, she knows she is not alone. Because of tragedies like these, I look for inspiring moments. I want to see how other people like the Daryn Kagan's of the world overcome their odds. I'm not judging my friend. Not at all. Not ever. I can see that her pain was too deep for her to handle any more. But I do wish, for her daughter's sake, at least, that she could have seen the light. Despite the spiritual nature she believed she had--She left affirmation notes all over her home--she somehow she missed that.

If you're dealing with troubling times, I ask you to look for the light. And realize that there have been difficult days in your life before. We all experience them on various levels. Think of them now. What obstacles have you overcome lately? What was the worst thus far? How did you come out of it? Did you always know you would?

Share your stories here with others so we can benefit from your lesson learned. That's the purpose of sharing. We can all learn from each other.

All my best,
Jackie

End bitter divorce now!

Oh, I wish that would be possible.

And that's why I've posted a second time today.

I couldn't help myself and wanted right away to post the above headline. I just read an article about David Hasselhoff and the end to his bitter divorce. I would love to be able to teach him and his now ex-wife about my mental BIKE. We can all use a way to transform our anger. No one needs to live a life that fuels bitter feelings.

Not that you shouldn't feel anger. There are plenty of things in the world to feel angry about. Divorce is one of them. But if the anger drags on, if you don't respect the feeling (bury it, pretend it doesn't exist, avoid expressing it, etc.), it can turn into revenge. You'll want to get back at someone for hurting you. And what a wasted use of your energy. I encourage you to use that energy for positive action instead, for forward movement.

The more I talk about my BIKE, the more I believe I need to teach more classes. I need to open my BIKE Lessons up to more of the public. So I'm going to look into doing that by year-end. I'll keep you updated. Maybe I'll be able to travel and bring the class near you.

But right after I read Hasselhoff's news this morning, I ran across a column written by Billy Graham. In it, he quoted the Bible, responding to a question another divorced father had about the broken relationship he had with his children because of divorce. Graham put it to him straight. He told the man he needed to own up to his mistakes. He needed to be honest about what he had done to cause that rift. And then he reminded the man what it says in the Bible, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).

It's okay if you don't read the Bible, believe in it, or don't even want to acknowledge it. But please don't be offended by my opinion that the words within are words of wisdom that can help us live a happy and prosperous life. Some people, I know, look at the Bible differently. But I am very sure my God wants me to live a joyful life here on earth. One way I can do that is by avoiding bitterness. That's something my BIKE allowed me to do. With my BIKE, I grew closer to my spiritual guide, and for me, that is the Lord, and he gave me the knowledge and the ability to be able to do that. I am so grateful for His work with me.

I do believe a gentle answer works much better than harsh words. Speaking of which, I know someone I can speak to right now who deserves a gentle response.

Do you?

All my best,
Jackie