Is it time to learn a new skill?

One thing you may notice during times of recovery is that you gain a sudden new interest in learning something new. In fact, you may almost crave it.

Whether it's how to dance the latest moves, how to paint or draw, or even how to ride a unicycle (I'm a long way from mastering that art, but I have a one-wheeler waiting for me to try again and again...and again.), I think this sudden yearning comes from the need to rebuild a lost sense of self-esteem.

As long as it's healthy in all respects, of course, consider exploring any ideas that come to mind. It's probably necessary for your growth. It's that mind-body connection telling you this will be good for you. Listen to it.

Try to avoid second-guessing yourself about cost or time or whatever hinderances might sneak in to sabotage your growth. If it costs too much, you may be able to find a less expensive alternative, for example a city-run program as opposed to a private one. It you don't think you have the time, look for a weekend retreat or a monthly event, rather than a longer-term commitment. Think of and investigate alternative ways to create this new fun in your life. If it's something worth exploring, you'll find a way that works for you.

Learning and developing new skills allows you to realize new opportunities, develop a much-needed confidence, and...Why not?...show off! It's good to be the star of the show sometimes. There are times when we may need to be recognized, if only to prove to ourselves we're alive.

Here are three interests that I had the courage recently to explore:

~Comedy writing: I attended a convention in Los Angeles several years ago where I learned this new skill then was able to apply it and win first place awards. I still get a kick out of that when I think of it. And I'm sure I use the skills I learned that long weekend today.

~Fiction writing: I attended a week-long writers' workshop where, in a small-class setting, I did nothing but learn about writing short stories, talk about writing short stories, and write them. I flew back home from that workshop with seven well-developed short stories to work on. I have them stored on a flash disc to develop further. That was great fun, and I was amazed I could accomplish so much.

~Running a 5k: In fact, I've run five or more of them in the last few years. I keep my jersey numbers tacked on my office wall as a reminder of an accomplishment I once thought I'd never have. In college, I could barely run a mile, and I hated doing it. It probably took me 20 minutes, and I couldn't see the end in sight. Now, some 20 years later, I can run up to four miles, not easily and still not very fast (but not that slow, either), and I don't even hate it, anymore. In fact, running gives me the space to push myself when I need pushing. I don't run long-distance very often, but I gained the endurance to do it at all from riding my bike. One skill can lead to another, it seems.

Do you have a list of interests or hobbies you've been wanting to explore but haven't? What are they? What are some steps you can take today to make at least one of them a priority? Even if it's something as simple as scrapbooking, allowing yourself the opportunity to grow in new and creative ways helps rebuild a broken spirit. By doing something you love or think you might love, you give yourself the gift of self-love. Creative outlets feed the soul in ways your normal, everyday life does not.

So, isn't it time?

All my best,
Jackie

Laugh at yourself often

If you can't remember the last time you smiled, then forget the smile and laugh out loud.

That's right. Laugh out loud. To yourself.

Right now.

Just reach deep from within your belly, pull a laugh up and out from the back of your throat, and burst out a hearty Ha-ha-ha!

Now do it again.

Just do it. Really. No one's looking. And if they are, ask them to join you.

It'll release any pent-up energy you might be feeling.

Belly laughs are good for that.

As a matter of fact, I had a few the night before. I was out to dinner with a girlfriend, and we got caught in the rain. We were sitting at the outdoor patio of this Italian bistro, when all of a sudden, the misters sounded a lot louder than they had before. Well, wouldn't you know it? It wasn't the misters that was making that whooshing sound. It was rain. The desert got its first shower, or at least the first one I can recall this monsoon season. And there we were, right in the middle of it, finishing up our dinner. Luckily, the table's umbrella was extended. We didn't get too wet. Our backs took most of the hit. But it was funny, and we laughed out loud. It felt good. The company. The rain. The laughs. Perfect!

But then the rain started coming down a bit harder, and we had to run for cover at the bar which had an awning overhead. We asked an older couple sitting at the table next to us if they were going to get out of the rain as well, and the woman replied for no particular reason, "This, on our first date!" And she laughed. Then her dinner mate laughed. And my friend and I got a good laugh all over again. What a memory for them, I think, if they continue seeing each other. I thought it was sweet. We don't get rain in the Valley of the Sun that often, so it's kind of a treat when it happens. But to be on a first date, sitting outside, only to get soaked by the rain? How funny!

I'm glad they thought it was.

There have been times in my life where the laughter was missing, where life seemed too serious and ceased to be fun. That's not a place I like to stay for long. So I once bought a shirt to remind me of that. It's a pink tank top that says at the top, "Laugh at yourself often." I did before I bought the shirt, and I do now. But sometimes I forget. Sometimes I get caught up in the exterior stuff that goes on, and I let it get to my head. I get too serious. Argh! Who needs that?

Going through my closet, looking for a shirt to wear today, I pulled out that pink shirt. I've been wearing it all day. It's a good reminder.

I'm going to dinner tonight with another friend. Besides eating a great meal and drinking some fine wine, I know what else we're going to do.

We're going to laugh.

All my best,
Jackie

How to look within

When we're in the midst of healing a broken past, we'll begin to look for answers by looking inward. It's a struggle, I know, to face what we might judge as our failures, our mistakes, our losses. But it's the only way to learn from the lessons our past can gift to us.

Choosing to look inward will give you the insights you need to see what changes might need to take place so that you don't go on repeating behaviors that haven't worked for you before now.

But how is that done, exactly?

Just take the first step, which is to begin spending time with yourself, alone. Make it a daily practice. If it means you leave the dog inside and take your walk alone, then do that. If it means you must dine alone, then do that. If it means you hop on a bike and ride, then, by all means, do that. Do whatever feels right to you.

It was when I rode my bike that I first began observing the pedal power. That's what had the most affect on me. That was where I started to see the growth that I needed to see in order to believe I was going somewhere. Your space might be different than mine was. There is no right or wrong space. It's what works for you. Your BIKE journey will not be the same as mine. It may be similar but it won't be the same. That's a benefit of this spiritual navigation tool--it's uniquely yours, to be created, developed and polished by you and you alone.

In the beginning of my BIKE journey, I had to have that time alone. I felt like I was suffocating, if I didn't get it. But there are others of you out there who may resist alone time. You may resist looking inward. It might not feel "normal." I understand. Later in my healing, I found resistance, too. Don't fear the resistance. It's natural. When change occurs, it feels uncomfortable. It feels unfamiliar. It feels like you're losing control. When you sense that resistance, as I have been lately, you'll begin to recognize that this is your ego getting in the way of your progress. It'll slip in there every now and then. Even years from now when you think you've long since been recovered, resistance may return in some form.

Be patient with yourself.

Go back to making space just for you. Make it more special this time, if that will help. Do what an interior designer suggested to me once when I was interviewing her for a story: "Create an afternoon tea party with just yourself." Take it one step further and turn on music in the background, something relaxing. Light a scented candle or incense. Breathe deeply. The breathing is especially important. It's one of the first things I forget to do when I'm in crisis mode. But the second I remember to focus on breathing, my personal space becomes calm again, and I can start to see clearly again. The experts don't tell us to count to ten when we're upset for nothing. It gives us time to check in with reality. You know that nothing is ever as bad as it seems. This is a reminder I've needed myself this past week or so. BIKE is my reminder.

Remember, BIKE includes the four elements of who you really are when you're being your Best self, accessing your Inner strength, paying attention to that Killer instinct, and using your Expressive voice. When you're not doing or being or achieving one or more of them, the mental aspect of BIKE reminds you of that as well. It works along side of your spiritual guide; it's always there. Waiting patiently, if necessary.

Your alone time gives you that time you need to reconnect with what it feels like to just be you. Doing it daily gives you the constant reminder you might need to stay sane. My BIKE saved me; yours will, too, if you're open to its power. When you begin to get comfortable defining it on your terms, you'll see exactly how you can use this mental BIKE to help push or pull you through even the most difficult days. You will not always have big burdensome challenges like you may be experiencing now, but you'll always have challenges to overcome, little ones, like an overcharge on the phone bill or a minor accident while on the way to work. It's okay. Your mental BIKE will help you deal, even if the dealing part occurs after the panic. With BIKE, there's always room for do-overs. As you continue to read this blog, you'll learn to trust your intuition. To do that, you'll need to look within. To look within takes time. And that time is better spent alone.

All my best,
Jackie

Help Yourself to a better Future

There are very many methods for achieving improvement to our personal confidence and self esteem, far too many to investigate in depth in a short information file. So on this page, we will have a look at the most popular and, for most people, the most effective.

Self Acceptance
Motivation & Goal Setting
Self hypnosis
Coaching/therapy

Self Acceptance

Self acceptance is one of the most important aspects of personal confidence and also for self esteem. The trick is to work out what you can change and set about doing so - and this page has a good few hints how you can go about that - and accept that which you cannot change.

We all have aspects of our personality and 'way of being' that we feel uncomfortable about; maybe we see ourselves as selfish, dim on occasions, over-emotional, under-responsive, or any one of a whole variety of pretty standard human behaviour patterns. The trouble is that when anybody mentions any of those things, our personal confidence is dented and self esteem sags. Yet accept those things as just part of what goes to make the whole of you and that overall, you are no worse and no better than the next human being and you can start to enjoy being you and all that being you means.

For example...

A child's school reports consistently commented on his talkativeness:"Billy is very intelligent," the teacher would say, "But he's a chatterbox - he never stops talking.". His parents laughed and showed others who also laughed. The child didn't understand why talking was such a bad thing though nonetheless tried to do less of it... but all that happened was that his fascination and enthusiasm for some new discovery would suddenly burst out of him in a torrent of excited chatter. One day, when he was a young adult, somebody said: "My God, do you never stop talking?" That hit hard at the sore spot that had been created over the years and he suddenly started to stutter.

Then people laughed even more. Social gatherings, parties, dinners, holidays, even family get-togethers all quickly became no-go areas. He became introverted and timid and eventually found himself with a therapist, recounting those early experiences of people laughing because he was a 'chatterbox'. "Tell me again about that teacher," the therapist said.
"She said I never stopped talking," Billy replied.
"That's funny," the therapist said. "I though you told me she said you were intelligent."
"I don't think I noticed that bit..." Billy said wonderingly.

The Ugly Duckling

From that moment on, it was like the Ugly Duckling story all over again. There was an almost instant acceptance that he was a natural talker, a communicator of ideas and concepts. Time passed. Billy talked A LOT and if anybody said anything at all about it, he would simply smile and agree with them. "I've always been talkative," he would say, "Thank goodness. I love to share all my ideas." No comments could hit any target now and there was no longer a sore spot; he knew that his talkativeness was a measure of his intelligence and his entire joy of living.

Acceptance is a wonderful thing. Accept the way you are and embrace it - warts and all - and you will become instantly more comfortable with yourself and others. When you accept those facets of self which you thought were negative, no matter what they are, nobody can push your buttons any more because you won't be trying to hide them. More importantly, perhaps, you will discover that many others actually like those facets of self that you tried so hard to conceal!

Motivation

One of the prime necessities to achieve good motivation in life or career is to have a clear goal - if you don't have, then it's extremely unlikely that you will achieve much. Yet set a goal and set it well, know exactly why you want it and how your life will improve when you get it and you're almost home and dry!

When setting your goals, it is important that you recognise the four rules that apply to any goal, if you are to have any chance of getting what you want:

- The goal must be plausible, possible and realistic
- It must be suitable for your personality type
- You must have a clear idea of what you are seeking
- Positive orientation

Plausible and Realistic

Anything that can be done, you can do. Anything that could never be done, you will not achieve, either. We are not conducting magic but simply using natural resources to achieve natural goals. If you are 65 years old, for instance, you will not become an Olympic standard athlete. It simply is not realistic. If you have only one leg, you cannot attempt to climb Mount Everest for exactly the same reason.

Suitable for Your Personality

For a goal to have a chance of success it should reflect your natural personality; always select a goal that you feel would not surprise others - although they may well be surprised at how easily you achieve it!

A Clear Idea

You have to know EXACTLY what it is that you want. It sounds obvious but an awful lot of people simply have never worked it out! Somebody might say: "I want to make something of myself." Well, good… but make what exactly? The subconscious - and that is the part of you which will achieve success or otherwise - only works with uncomplicated and positive statements with no ambiguity or implication. After all, if you made a failure of yourself, that would comply with the above goal, wouldn't it? 'Make a success' is not much better, either. One person's success simply doesn't 'work' for another. "I want to have my own business selling music CDs on the internet," is a clear goal. So is: "I want to make xxxxxxxx money a year from my music website," as long as you state a figure that you know can be achieved. Make your goal specific and you have a far higher chance of success.

Self hypnosis

There are very many methods of improving self worth and confidence. The most important thing to recognise, probably, is that precisely nothing will happen if you don't put some input into the plan. You can read the best self help books in the world and nothing will happen unless you have an action plan. You can listen to self help and personal development CDs until you know them off by heart, but the result will be a big fat nothing if that is all you do.

If you want to get anywhere, you have to accept that it is YOU who must make the change - nobody, absolutely nobody, can do it for you. Nothing changes if nothing changes...

Self hypnosis can be remarkably effective for the reduction of stress and improvement in life generally. It is a specific skill and one which can easily be learned via one of the many books on the subject or via one of the many free self hypnosis courses available on the internet.

Though some people are wary of hypnosis and self hypnosis until they discover more about it, it's used on a daily basis by sportsmen and musicians, business people and artists, housewives, policemen, engineers, shop assistants... in fact it's used by millions of people from all walks of life all over the globe!

Let's dispel a few of the anxieties that some visitors might have... the following 'rules' are applicable to all types of hypnosis:

- You cannot 'get stuck' - this is quite impossible
- You do not become unconscious or go to sleep
- You know what's happening at all times
- You can exit the state whenever you wish to
- You cannot 'lose your mind'
- It is not connected in any shape or form with the occult
- There is no such thing as a 'hypnotised feeling'
- It is actually a totally natural state which we all go into several times a day
- It is very similar to meditation or relaxation techniques
- IT IS COMPLETELY SAFE!

Getting into a state of self-hypnosis is a specific skill and as with all skills, some people are better at it than others. It is fair to say, though, that almost everybody can benefit from learning how to use it. Among other things, you can help yourself to:

- Combat Stress - use it with the routines above for a real power session!
- Lose weight
- Quit smoking
- Improve sporting and other performance
- Increase concentration and recall
- Improve confidence and self-confidence
- Work effectively with motivation issues

As mentioned earlier, there are very many books on the subject of self hypnosis as well as free courses - but do be sure to get one that is written by a professional in the field.

Motivational therapy, and personal confidence

Finally, an excellent way of developing your life in the way you want it is to visit a motivational coach, hypnotherapist or NLP practitioner. Huge numbers of sporting personalities, stars of stage and screen, wildly successful business leaders and 'executive climbers', amongst others, have achieved their success via this route. Hypnotherapy and/or NLP can provide somewhat faster and more long-lasting results than coaching and often with fewer sessions.

If you decide to investigate this route, your local Yellow Pages is a good starting point; initial consultations are often at no charge, though you should make clear exactly why you are consulting.

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

Personal Improvement - A Broad Perspective

Most of us have heard the term personal improvement, but what does it really mean to us? Reference to this term seems to be confined to factors pertaining to such abstract terms as, emotions, success, mind, goal setting, health, and other such words; but not much is said about other factors that help to bring about positive development in a person's life.

I say 'positive' development because I must stress the difference in the meaning of the words improvement and development. These two words are not really synonymous and cannot generally be used interchangeably. Something can develop from a good state into a bad one, or from a bad state into a good one; whereas nothing can ever improve from bad to worse! At this point I must mention that there is also a difference between the terms self improvement and personal improvement. Self improvement is personally enhancing your self; for example, your health, appearance, education, and such like; whereas personal improvement goes deeper than that. It embodies all of self improvement as well as benefits gained from your personal possessions, belongings, and involvement which contribute to your well being and upliftment, thereby enhancing your personal life. While personal improvement can aptly be defined by the abstract words mentioned above, and others such as, stress, inspiration, education, time managment, to name a few more, I view it from a broader perspective. According to the Dictionary, the adjective 'personal' means "concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality"; and the word 'improvement' means "a change for the better." From the foregoing, when these two words are put together, they can only mean the effect that anything has on a person's life and personality in a postive manner; in other words, the term covers anything under the sun that can affect a person so as to bring about a change for the better in that person's life. Hence, I feel that the meaning also encompasses your livelihood, possessions, encounters, surroundings, lifestyle, actions, and all other areas in which you may be personally involved; for, as long as you are able to attach a personal possessive adjective such as 'my' appropriately to anything, ownership is suggested; that object becomes personal to you and some measure of benefit is, or could be, derived. One might ask, "What does my work at home business, real estate, or electronics, etc., have to do with my personal improvement?" Think about it. Do you expect to improve your lifestyle by getting involved in any of these or any other business for that matter? If you do, then you do expect some profit or personal benefit for your efforts. You work, obtain money, purchase whatever you wish - maybe a place of residence - and furnish it with whatever you desire so that you may enjoy the rewards of your labor. Now, can that property have the experience of being owned by you or anyone else? It cannot care who lives in it, whether you pay for it or not, whether it is equipped with electricity, whether it has a roof or floor; it cannot enjoy the good things of life; it is never happy or sad. Why? Because it is inanimate, it has no life; therefore, it cannot have emotions. Who becomes emotional? You, of course! Those things affect you personally. If I sent you a personal letter, it may not have anything to do with your physical self, but it may have to do with your finances; therefore it is indeed personal; it does not affect your body, but it certainly could affect your mind positively or negatively. I guess that by now you have got the point. No? Take a look at science and technology. Would you classify them under personal improvement? Maybe not. Now, think about it: Nothing can be accomplished by man without human involvement - hence, personal involvement. The inception and continuance of every venture is totally dependent upon the talent and ability of people. Even after being put into operation, technology cannot be fully functional without people and it is all for the benefit of the humana race. God has given mankind dominion over everything in the world, so as long as we have life, everything in this world affects us directly or indirectly in some small or great way for good (or evil because of sin). Needless to say that from creation, people have been involved in every facet of life irrespective of what category. The increase in knowledge throughout the ages has always been for the advancement and benefit of mankind. Human resource or workforce is a key ingredient for the progress and advancement of any business. There could be no human resources without personal involvement. Who have benefited from all the innovations throughout the ages? Must I elaborate? I really do not think it is necessary. An employer takes into consideration, certain characters of the employee - habits, capabilities, ethics, experience, education, skill, potential (as far as the advancement of the employer's business is concerned). The employer is interested in what the employee can contribute to the promotion of the business and for his (the employer's) improvement. Why do you think that an employer likes to engage someone with a good skill, education and learning? Equipment and technology cannot raise the standard of an organization unless there is human involvement. Who gets the reward from the profit of a business? Is it the business or its owner? We all know that a business cannot spend money; so when it is said that the profit belongs to the business (What a 'laff'!), that is only a front! When that business makes a profit or loss, a human being is either happy or sad. Anything that you are involved with, be it your vehicle or your job, as long as you can gain some sort of benefit, it enhances your life. Yes, you can achieve personal improvement from your possessions and involvement. Perhaps I am alone in my thinking on this subject, but I maintain that anything (yes, anything!) that brings you benefit from a good source, enhances your life and contributes to your personal improvement. Go ahead, work towards your personal improvement and enjoy life! Just my opinion.Jem Bacchus http://1-personal-improvement.com

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com